Gammy's Chair

I was with Troy in our formal dining room the other day, folding laundry, and I went to sit down in one of the chairs. Troy came running over and pushed me out of the chair, screaming, “Noooo! Walk away, dada! No sitting in chair.”

Not sure why I was being forbidden from sitting down, I asked him, “Why can’t I sit down? My back hurts.”

To which he replied, “That’s Gammy’s chair.” Apparently, he remembered that my mom had sat in that particular chair a few months ago when she was last here. We had been in this room doing a puzzle at the table. So, respecting his wishes to keep that chair reserved for her, I went to sit down in another chair. He again pushed me out, saying, “That’s Gammy’s chair.”

“But I thought that was Gammy’s chair,” I said pointing to the first chair.

“That’s Gammy’s chair too.”

So, I eventually got relegated to the far end of the table, having been told that the four choicest options were reserved for his Gammy.

UPDATE: When I shared this story with my mom, she said, “That’s my boy!!!”

Use It or Lose It Vacation: Day 6 - Tyler State Park

Today, we decided to finish off our vacation week by going to Tyler State Park again. This time we invited CC, his wife, and Declan to join us. Unfortunately, the day didn't start off on the right foot, and it only went downhill from there. We were super late getting on the road, so it was already lunchtime by the time we got to the park. This wouldn't normally have been an issue, except that we were trying to get there in the morning to enjoy some activities while it was still a bit cooler. Instead, we set up to enjoy a nice lunch together at the pavilion near the gift shop.

And that's when we found out that CC and his wife had only brought food for Declan, nothing for themselves. I'm not sure what they were planning on eating, maybe they thought they could buy something. I guess it's a good thing that I overpacked our ice chest with food, so we had plenty to feed all of us. 

After a pleasant lunch, my wife decided that she wanted to take Troy swimming. And that's when we found out that neither CC nor his wife had apparently brought a bathing suit. I'm not really sure why you go to a lake with predominantly water activities and don't think to bring swim attire. And yes, I had fully prepared them on what there was to do at the park, so they were aware ahead of time. So, my now irritated wife took Troy swimming by herself. Which didn't last but a few minutes, because Troy suddenly had an aversion to swimming in the lake water.

So, I suggested that we go rent a pedal boat instead, so we could all do something together. And that's when CC had a conniption fit about the price of the rental, which was only $20 for an hour. Which irritated me, since we had paid for their park entrance fee and fed them lunch. A measly $20 seemed like a small price to pay for an entire day's worth of entertainment.

The boat ride itself went downhill quickly. At first, Declan was crying and screaming because he wanted to touch the water, not ride on a stupid boat. They finally managed to calm him down, only to have Troy suddenly throw an uncontrollable fit because I was trying to help him steer the boat, so we didn't crash into the boat dock. After the meltdown started, there was no stopping it. To be honest, I think it was a combination of the sweltering heat and the missed nap. And that's when my wife decided to stop helping me peddle the boat. So, I'm stuck in the middle of the lake with an out-of-control toddler, burning to a crisp in the relentless Texas sun, trying to peddle the boat by myself, and losing my patience more with every passing second. I finally had had enough and started yelling at everyone.

I got my wife to help me start peddling again, and we chugged back to the boat dock as quickly as we could. I jumped off the boat before it had even touched the dock. I reattached the chain, forcibly drug my son off, and was manhandling my wife off the boat before the boat attendant could even make it over to us. 

Except for a few moments, the whole day was basically a disaster of epic proportions. I don't think we'll ever invite CC and his wife along on a trip like this again. They had been begging us for over a year to let them tag along, but they were not great traveling companions. I know it wasn't all their fault, but their unpreparedness and behavior definitely didn't help the situation. Luckily, Troy finally calmed down in the car ride home and fell asleep. He napped for the entire ride, which he desperately needed. My wife and I are disappointed with how the week ended considering that we'd been having a good time together.

Use It or Lose It Vacation: Day 5 - T-Rex Feet

Troy’s lone souvenir from the museum yesterday was a pair of slippers that look like T-Rex feet. He wanted me to put them on him first thing this morning, and he hasn’t wanted to take them off since. When he’s walking in them, he looks like one of those videos of the dogs wearing shoes. He exaggeratedly picks up his feet and gingerly puts them down, like he’s not quite sure how to walk in his new feet. Either that or he’s trying to stomp around in them like a T-Rex.

When we told him that breakfast was ready this morning, he came running into the kitchen and slipped and fell on his backside. He said, “I slipped, dada.” I picked him up and carried him to his chair. I said, “It’s okay. You have to get used to your new feet. After all, you’ve only been a dinosaur for a day.”

Use It or Lose It Vacation: Day 4 - Perot Museum

We decided to keep Troy home again today and head to the Perot Museum of Nature and Science. We thought he might like the dinosaur skack-ee-tons (i.e. skeletons), and we were curious about the other exhibits. We decided to get there when they opened to try to avoid any crowds, but apparently a lot of other people had the same idea. So, while we waited for the doors to open, Troy and I played with the rain pipes that were dripping near the entrance. I taught him and some other little boy that tapping on the different length pipes with a rock would produce different pitched sounds. So they both happily banged away on the pipes much to the chagrin of the little boy’s mother and every other parent in the area.

The route through the museum leads you up the escalator, which Troy loved. He called it the moving stairs. I taught him to “jump” at the end, so the stairs wouldn’t eat him, and he laughed as we both jumped off the last step. The escalators take you all the way to the fourth floor, which is where the dinosaur skack-ee-tons are located.

The first thing we were greeted by when we stepped off the escalator was a giant T-Rex skeleton, mouth open wide and teeth bared, chasing a small pterodactyl trying to fly to freedom. It felt like we were stepping into a strange world where skeletons had come to life, moving and being despite having no muscles or skin. Unfortunately, I don’t think Troy was as impressed by them as I was. I guess after you’ve seen dinosaurs for “real,” skeletons lose a bit of their luster. Around the corner, we encountered the rest of the exhibit, which featured another T-Rex and a Brachiosaurus, it’s long neck snaking up to the next floor. But Troy gave them merely a passing glance and then ran off to the next thing.

He was most impressed by the small (relative only to how big they could get) Mosasaurus skeleton. He came back to it several times, excitedly screaming, “Mosasaurus, Mosasaurus!” But he ultimately preferred the things that he could see without having to imagine what they must have looked like. For example, the small T-Rex statue, the prehistoric bison model, and all of the stuffed birds. I was most impressed by the Quetzalcoatlus skeleton hanging from the ceiling, it’s wings unfurled and soaring across the room. It was thirty feet tall with an equal-sized wingspan, roughly the size of a giraffe or a small private plane. It’s crazy to imagine flocks of those soaring across the sky, blocking out the sun.

But I didn’t get long to stop and admire the Quetzalcoatlus, or anything really for that matter. Troy was excitedly running from thing to thing; pushing buttons, climbing stairs, and asking, “What’s that, dada?” And I was chasing him. Round and round we went on the skeleton floor, before my wife decided that it was time to head down to the next level. Here we encountered a scientific explanation of weather and rocks. The coolest part of this area for the kids was a large sand pit that projected different colors and bands to represent the elevation of the sand. The kids could move the sand around, and the colors and bands would automatically change to match the new elevations formed. Even though he was intrigued as to why everyone was fighting to get into the sand box, Troy had no actual interest in messing with the sand. He preferred to flip through the information kiosks, “reading” books about scientists and weather patterns.

Bored of the weather area, he headed around the corner into the gem area, which he blew through in a matter of seconds. Then, we found ourselves in the oil and gas area, which Troy seemed to enjoy immensely more. This was mostly due to the fact that it had a lot of machinery and stuff that he could twist and spin and move. So, he ran back and forth manipulating the various implements, and I chased after him. My wife was moving more slowly through the exhibits, actually spending time to observe and enjoy them. Catching up to us at the very end, we all headed down to the next level together.

This final level focused on animal and human anatomy and behaviors. Troy enjoyed the taxidermied animals in various habitats and poses, calling out all of the animals he knew and asking for explanation on the ones he didn’t. Then, we headed into the activity zone. This was where we spent most of our time at the museum. It had robots that you could drive, buttons that you could push to make music, and things that you could construct. Next to the robots, Troy thoroughly enjoyed the air tubes. It was a series of clear tubes crisscrossing across one wall that you could drop colored balls into and watch them twist and turn their way through before being ejected from a random opening. This was obviously a big hit with all of the kids.

The last section was a study of humans. Troy didn’t care much about this section, but he did enjoy one game. It was a computer that would track your movement and project it into a screen. But not just your body, it would analyze and predict where your skeleton would be based on your motion and project it on top of your moving form. So, basically you were watching your own skeleton dancing along with you! Troy was dancing and bouncing along with several other people, his tiny little skeleton bending and twisting along with him.

We called it quits after this, feeling like two and a half hours at the museum with a two-year old was long enough.

Use It or Lose It Vacation: Day 3 - Jurassic World: The Exhibition

My wife had some vacation days that she needed to use or she'd lose them, so we both decided to take the week off and do some fun things as a family together. So today, we kept Troy out of school and took him to Jurassic World: The Exhibition. It’s a traveling dinosaur experience that landed in Dallas for the latter part of the summer and is due to depart at the end of the month. Since Troy lives and breathes dinosaurs, we thought he might like to meet some “real” ones up close and personal. So we all boarded a ferry and headed out to Isla Nublar, a little island off the coast of Costa Rica, to find Jurassic World.

When you step off the ferry, you’re greeted by the towering gates to the park. They were open, and we were ushered into a treehouse, where we were greeted by the tall, swaying head of a brachiosaurus, towering above us. The animatronics head swept back and forth and dipped down, opening its mouth and letting out a moaning growl. Troy was so excited that he started shaking. Here was a real, live dinosaur standing right in front of him…so close that he could almost touch it. It was just like when Darius from Camp Cretaceous first saw one while swinging past on a zip line. He was in the show!

We immediately got another treat when they brought out a baby ankylosaurus. Troy got to get right up close to her as she moved and waggled in her trainers arms. Bumpy, that was her name, even sniffed his shirt to determine if he was food!

As we rounded the corner, we passed by an asset containment truck. All of a sudden, a pachycephalosaurus stuck her head over the side of the truck and growled at us. She continued to moan and growl, testing the sides of the truck as she threw herself against the walls of her box. Troy was fascinated by her, yelling, “Stiggy! Stiggy!” which is the nickname given to a stygimoloch, which is a sub genus of pachycephalosaurus.

As we passed through another set of doors, we found ourselves in the genetics lab where they create and grow the new baby dinosaurs. There were several eggs of unknown species and three newly-hatched parasaurolophus babies sleeping under warm lights. And Troy also got to meet another baby, an adolescent stygimoloch with its trainer had come out for some exercise. He showed no fear, walking right up to the baby dinosaur, saying “Baby Stiggy, mama. Baby Stiggy.”

From here we were ushered into the velociraptor holding facility, where the cunning, stealthy dinosaurs were being held with their heads in steel masks. Charlie, Delta, and Echo were lined up side-by-side, watching us. Their eyes moved to follow our every step, and occasionally they fought and pulled against their restraints, shaking the entire wall. The fourth member of the group, Blue, was mysteriously absent. Only an empty mask showed where she should have been.

It didn’t take us long to figure out where she was. In the next room, a trainer brought Blue out to show her to us. He talked to us about velociraptor behavior, while never taking his eyes off the aggressive predator. Blue for her part was trying to sneak up on him from the side, testing his weaknesses and waiting for the right moment to attack. Not wanting to push his luck, the trainer decided to corral her back into her pen.

As we moved into the next area, we were greeted with a large pen with a tall fence. Dense foliage covered most of the pen, and Troy was zeroed in trying to figure out what was in there. He didn’t have to wait long, as the foliage started to shake and a deep pounding reverberated through the air. Suddenly, Indominus Rex’s head pushed through the leaves and roared its intimidating voice. Troy was so close that he could have felt the spit flying from its mechanical mouth. Indominus grabbed a haunch of meat and disappeared back into the foliage once more, and we headed on to the next area.

From here, we found ourselves in the gyroscope area and had the opportunity to meet a baby Pteranodon. All of the other kids were too timid to walk up to her, but not Troy! He went right up and tried to pet her. Of course, the trainer wouldn’t let him for fear he’d get bitten. Unfortunately , our stay in this room didn’t last long as an alarm started to blare and lights started to flash. Apparently, there was an asset out of containment, and they needed to get us to safety.

We were taken to another room with a tall fence and thick trees. As the ranger explained the situation and tried to keep us calm, assuring us that everything was under control, suddenly a familiar roar rang out behind us. As we turned around in terror, we came face to face with a T-Rex. Even though they told us not to make eye contact, Troy stared her down with absolutely zero fear. T-Rex accepted the challenge, and the two of them engaged in a growl off. Before things could get too far out of hand, the ranger dragged us through a steel gate, closing the T-Rex in the pen and leaving Troy slathered in a vicious snarl.

It was all that I could do to hold him back as he tried to get back in to the T-Rex. Luckily, we now found ourselves in the gift shop, so he was quickly distracted by all of the over-priced toys. We bought him a Mosasaurus and a T-Rex to add to his growing collection. I’d been trying to find a good T-Rex for him for a while, so it worked out. And that’s how we ended our trip to Isla Nublar. It was an amazing experience, and they did an excellent job on everything. The only downside was that it didn’t last longer. We wanted to stay and see even more dinosaurs, but I guess it had to end at some point.

From there, we headed to a homemade ice cream shop in Denton for a sugary refuel. My wife and I each got an ice cream with the intent that Troy would take a few bites of each of ours. Unfortunately for me, he didn't like her ice cream choices, so he stole mine because I got the one with the chocolate chunks and the chocolate syrup on top. Oh well, I did get a few "licks" in before it was confiscated.

Maybe it's...

Troy has started to say “maybe it’s…” when he’s answering questions or acknowledging something. For example, we were looking through his dinosaur book, and we stopped at a fish dinosaur.

Dada: “Look at that Mosasaurus, it has a big head!”

Troy: “Maybe it’s a whale.”

Dada: “No, I’m pretty sure it’s a Mosasaurus.”

Troy: “But maybe it’s a whale.”

Dada: “It says it’s a Mosasaurus right there.”

Troy: “But maybe it’s a WHALE!”

Dada: “But it’s not!”

Troy: “MAYBE it’s…a whale.”

Dada: “I can see how you might think that, but I’m assuring you that it’s in fact a Mosasaurus.”

Troy: “maybe it’s a whale.” [whispering]

Dada: “Fine, maybe it’s a whale.”

Troy: “Maybe it’s a Mosasaurus.”

Dada: “Are you kidding me right now?!”

The Gorbilla

For some reason, Troy has decided that he no longer wants to talk to me directly when we’re playing. So, he has designated a third-party representative that I have to speak through to address him. He will hand me the “gorbilla,” and I’m expected to carry on a conversation and play with him all while holding the stuffed gorilla.

Tonight, he was handing the gorbilla Duplo blocks and asking him to build something with them. So, I had to try to grab the blocks and put them together using only monkey hands. The gorbilla also had to ride the inflatable dinosaurs while Troy beat him mercilessly with a T-Rex…similar to what he does with me, or used to. He showed the gorbilla his dinosaur house, played with him in the ball pit, and wrestled with him in the floor. I can’t believe I’ve been replaced by a ten-inch high stuffed gorilla.

What's that, dada?

When I was growing up, I used to watch a show called The Animaniacs, which featured the Warner siblings, three 1930s cartoon characters of an unknown species. There were other sub-characters that popped up in skits of their own. Two of my favorites were Mindy and Buttons. Mindy was a little blonde-headed girl that obliviously wanders into trouble, while her dog, Buttons, sets about protecting and saving her, only to be blamed for her misbehavior. Throughout the show there was a running joke where Mindy would ask someone, “Whatcha doin’?” When they’d tell her, she’d follow up with, “Why?” They’d try to explain only to be met with another, “Why?” This would go on for several minutes, and then Mindy, seemingly getting bored would suddenly say, “Okay, love you, bye bye!” and run off.

Troy has started to do the same thing to us, and I always laugh thinking of Mindy. He has a slight variation, asking instead, “What’s that, dada?” I’ll tell him, and he’ll point at something else and ask the same question. Over and over again until he’s pointed at everything in the room. Then, he’ll abruptly say, “Okay” and walk off.

Stop It!

Troy was playing with his two new Baryonyx dinosaurs today. One of them kept “biting” the other one, and Troy kept telling her to stop. When the dinosaur kept biting the other dinosaur, Troy got frustrated and started yelling for her to stop. When she still wouldn’t stop, Troy grabbed her and threw her across the room. The entire time it was Troy making the one dinosaur bite the other dinosaur, and I couldn’t stop laughing.

Are You Smarter Than a Two-Year Old?

We took Troy to the park today, and we noticed that the splash park attached to the swimming pool was open and working. Troy wanted to check it out, so we decided to just strip him down to his shorts and let him go wild. He was in heaven; running through the spray, shooting the water cannons, and splashing in the fountains coming up from the ground.

At one point, he stopped and pointed at a white donut-looking thing hanging on the fence. “What’s that dada?” he asked me. Not sure exactly how to explain a lifebuoy to my two-year old, I told him it was a floaty. He understands that since we strap an arm and chest floaty on him before he goes in the pool. “Oh, okay,” he replied, satisfied, and headed back into the splash park.

Later on, seeing all of the other kids in the swimming pool, he told my wife, “Mama, I want the big pool.”

“No, baby, we can’t go in there. We don’t have your floaties.”

“But, mama, There’s a floaty right there,” he replied, pointing to the white lifebuoy hanging on the fence that I had showed him a half hour before.

I started laughing, realizing that we had been outsmarted by our toddler. I explained to my wife the conversation that had taken place earlier, and she said, “He’s unbelievable!”

Walk Away, Dada!

Lately, Troy has been telling me, “Walk away, dada! Walk away!” He says it when I try to take something that he’s not ready to part with yet. He’s says it when I’m tickling him. He says it when I try to kiss him awake in the mornings, and he wants to sleep in. And he says it when I get too intimately close to his mother. In the last case, he will even wedge himself between us, put his back against me, wrap one arm around my wife, and push me away with the other arm.

We weren’t quite sure where he learned this, because we never said it to him. We didn’t know if it was another kid at the daycare or the teachers themselves, trying to teach conflict resolution.

Yesterday, we had a couple of families over for a play date, and one of the mothers asked me about this phrase and whether Troy was saying it to us. Apparently, her daughter was also saying it a lot at home. But instead of pushing her mom away, she would grab both sides of her face with her little hands to get her full attention. Then, satisfied that she’d be heard and understood, she’d tell her mom to walk away.

It’s interesting how little kids express it differently. Either way, we sort of tease Troy about it by using it back on him. If we get something first or get the upper hand in a situation, then we’ll tell him to “Walk away, Troy! Walk away!”

Little Helper

I was finishing up the laundry this morning, so I carried the hanging shirts into our bedroom to hang up. I placed them on the bed to go get hangers, and Troy crawled up the side of the bed and nestled himself under the covers. When I came back, I found him and my wife laying on the bed reading a book.

As soon as he saw the hangers, Troy popped up to play with them. But what he did next surprised me. Instead of running off with them, like he normally does, he stood up on the bed and started hanging them on the canopy rods over our bed. Mama’s hangers over here. Dada’s hangers over there.

After he’d sorted them all; I took one down, put a shirt on it, and handed it back to him. He took the shirt, stretched up on his toes, and hung it on the rod. I put another shirt on a hanger, and we repeated the process. He even hung my wife’s shirts on a different rod from mine.

Once all of the shirts were swaying gently from the rods over our bed, Troy decided to hide in the clothes. All you could see were his little feet below the shirts. He’s our funny, helpful little man!

No Talking to Mama!

Tonight, while we were having dinner, I was trying to talk to my wife about her day. Troy was feeling neglected and left out of the conversation, so he swatted me on the shoulder and said, “No talking to mama!”

So, I asked him why I couldn’t talk to mama. Was it a lack of legal contract allowing me to do it? Was it because I’d hit my quota of words for the day? Was it because he wanted to talk to mama? What?

To which he repeated, “No talking to mama!” So, I replied, “I’m not talking to mama. I’m talking to you. I’m asking why I’m not allowed to talk to mama.” To which he reiterated, “No talking to mama!” Feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere, I said, “I got that part. But if you can’t give me a better reason than that, then I’m going to talk to mama, because she’s a nice person to talk to.” To which, Troy let out a big sigh and rolled his eyes at me.

Mashed Potatoes

Troy was eating some mashed potatoes for dinner tonight, scooping them up with his spoon and licking them off with his tongue. I’m not sure what possessed him, but at one point, he got the compulsion to wipe them on my arm instead. Seeing the mashed potatoes smeared on my arm, he said, “Ohp! Sorry.” Then, he looked at my wife and said, “Kleenex, please.” She handed him one, and he proceeded to wipe the mashed potatoes off my arm. When he was finished, he asked, “Okay, dada?” I hugged him and told him that I was okay now, and thanked him for cleaning off my arm. He’s such a sweet boy.

The Voicemail

My wife left me a very long voicemail today, describing a stupid conversation she had had with the daycare teacher at Troy’s school. She had requested that they not strap his diapers on so tight, and the daycare teacher basically told us that we probably just need to buy bigger diapers. So, rather than them learning the correct way to put on a diaper that actually fits him, we need to go buy bigger diapers, so that they can continue to do it wrong.

I was livid with this line of thinking, and I proceeded to tell my wife this. But she just kept talking and completely ignored me. So, I tried again. Again, she ignored me. I looked down at the phone to see if maybe I had accidentally hit the mute button. And that’s when I realized that I was talking to a voicemail.

Very White

My son brought home a virus from daycare, and he was kind enough to share it with me. So, as usual, he’s now getting better, and I’m getting worse. Today, I woke up with a very sore throat after having snot running down it all night. Thanks to the additional layers of coating, my voice is extremely deep. I told my wife that I sound like Very White, Barry White’s much whiter cousin.