Stuck

For some strange reason, the foreskin on Troy’s penis keeps getting stuck to the head. He’s circumcised, but there’s a slight excess of skin left, and it continuously gets stuck over time. We’ve already had to have the doctor “rip” it off three times, which is very painful for Troy. We’re then supposed to clean it and put Vaseline on it every day to keep it from sticking again. But it always does anyway. Because he goes to daycare, we can’t control this process all the time, and it seems like sometime during the day, it sticks. We wondered if there was an issue with the circumcision, like maybe they didn’t cut enough skin off or something, but the doctor said it looked fine, and he should grow out of it over time.

I’ve noticed that it’s been stuck again for quite a while now, and I’ve been trying to slowly work it apart…without any success. Troy is notoriously bad about complaining and slamming his legs closed anytime I try to tug on the skin. I get it, but it’s also frustrating. Well, last night, I noticed what looked like a white cyst right at the “stuck” location. It was pretty small, but still concerning. I was convinced that our lack of hygiene had finally caused a bigger problem. So, I took Troy to the doctor today to get it checked out.

The doctor quickly ruled out a cyst, but did note that something was wrong. The first thing he had to do was separate the stuck skin again. However, this time it was a whole lot more difficult, which made me feel better that I wasn’t a complete failure, since I couldn’t do it. He had to put a numbing cream on Troy’s penis and wait 15 min before performing the operation. Even though it was a weird sensation for Troy, it was actually the least of a crying ordeal that we’ve been through with this procedure. In fact, Troy didn’t make a peep when the doctor managed to finally rip the skin apart.

And when he did, he extracted a very large white piece of diaper lint from under the obstructed skin. I don’t know how it had gotten wedged under there or how long it had been there before a tiny bit had wormed it’s way to the outside. But it couldn’t have been comfortable. The doctor put Polysporine on the now very red, very raw wound, which should also help keep it from sticking again. We’re supposed to do this three times a day for the next couple of weeks until it heals. And then we can either keep doing it or switch to Vaseline for a few weeks after that. All I know is that I don’t want to have to go through this again, so I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it doesn’t get stuck again.

The Devil Within

Tonight, Troy was screaming at me…one of his usual, unexplainable mood swings. I was trying to calmly ask him what was wrong so I could help him. But every time I asked him, he would scream again. In fact, I’d barely get out a single sound before he was cutting me off with a scream.

So, I calmly said, “If you do that again, you’re going to bed.” Troy opened his mouth to scream, and he stopped. His eyes got really big as understanding dawned on him. He must have seen something in my eyes that told him I was deadly serious and was in no mood to play. He slowly closed his mouth again without uttering a sound.

Ooga Chaka

One morning, I was trying to find a song with an interesting beat to entice Troy out of bed. On a whim, I played Blue Suede’s “Hooked on a Feeling” from The Guardians of the Galaxy, which I’d rewatched recently. The beginning of the song starts with tribal chanting that sounds like, “Ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga ooga, ooga chaka.” This continues while the song layers in on top of it. The chanting is what drew Troy’s attention as I thought it would. What I didn’t expect was how much he’d love it! Now, it’s become his latest obsession, and we have to play it a dozen times a day. Just like Post Malone’s “Sunflower” and Coldplay’s “Adventure of a Lifetime” before it. Sometimes, I’ll be changing his diaper, and he’ll start chanting. Then, he’ll stop and ask, “Dada, can you please sing the other part?” So, I’ll start singing the melody, and he’ll chant along with me. It’s a beautiful and strange little duet!

Father's Day Fail

This Father’s Day didn’t quite go as expected. But maybe I’m confused as to the purpose of the day. I thought it was to honor a father’s place in their kid’s life. To acknowledge all they do to provide and serve their family. And...I don't know...maybe get pampered and fawned over for one day out of the year. Apparently, I’ve got it backwards. Based on today, it’s a day for a man to serve his family and child even more than normal…or at least the same as normal, in my case.

My wife didn’t even remember that it was Father’s Day until I called my father. So, I got no card, no gift, no breakfast in bed…nothing. She only said “Happy Father’s Day” as an afterthought during breakfast…a breakfast that she ordered instead of making. And I only believe she did that because Troy wanted French Toast, or I would have had a bowl of cereal made with my own hands.

After that, we watched church on the TV. As soon as it was done, my wife disappeared to take a two and a half hour nap. I held my son while he watched a cartoon on the TV, and then we went upstairs and played until lunch.

While he slept, I cleaned the house to prepare for the maid the next day. When Troy got up, I continued to alternate between playing with him and cleaning. So, all in all, nothing different from every other Sunday of the year. And to top it all off, I now feel like I’m getting sick. 

Best...Father’s...Day…ever [sarcasm implied]!

Dragons

Troy refused to take a nap today, so I decided to try driving him around in the car to see if that would make him sleepy. It did not. After two hours, he was just as wide awake as he started. So, we stopped at a new playground that I saw from the road that had a dragon snaking in and out of the ground. When I extracted Troy from the car, he said, “Come on, dada. Let’s check this bad boy out.“ Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Play Date - Part 2

We had Misha and her mother over for a play date today. I had a migraine, so the moms took the kids to the pool to cool off, while I tried to get rid of my headache. Afterward, they came back to the house for lunch and a little bit of playtime. When it was time for the kids’ naps, Misha and her mom left. It was a nice little diversion.

UPDATE: Apparently, Misha was so worn out from her adventures that she passed out in the car and didn’t even wake up when they carried her inside to the couch. This is in stark contrast to my son who refused a nap altogether.

It's a Jurassic World

Troy: “It’s a Jurassic world, dada.”

Me: “Yes, it is. It’s dinosaur eat dinosaur out there, bud.”

Troy: “Yeah. Indominus just ate T-Rex.”

The Homeless Cookie

When I was taking Troy to daycare today, there was a homeless man begging at the stoplight near the school. He seems like a nice enough man, always smiling and waving at people who make eye contact with him. As we sat waiting for the light to change, I said, “He looks hungry.”

Troy was sitting in the backseat munching on a bag of cookies, and he said, “Here. Maybe he’d like a cookie.”

I looked back to see him holding one of his animal crackers in his outstretched hand. No matter how desperate his situation, I didn’t think the man would appreciate a single slobbery animal cracker. I was trying to figure out how to tell Troy that, when thankfully the light turned, and we had to drive on.

I can’t believe how incredibly sweet and generous my son is. I mean, he wouldn’t share his cookies with me, but he’d give them to a complete stranger who was hungry. So very sweet.

Get a Broom

Troy: “Dada, I need to throw a ball on that ledge and get it to roll down there and fall off.”

Me: “Don’t do that. What if the ball doesn’t fall off? What if it gets stuck? Dada won’t be able to get it down. It’s too high up there.”

Troy: “You can get the broom to get it.”

My Wife: “He’s got you there!”

Balls on the Stairs

Sometimes, it's not easy to come up with ideas to entertain a three-year every minute of every day for an entire weekend. You have your standard fallbacks, like playing with dinosaurs, building trains, whacking each other with foam swords, or chasing dada around the upstairs. But if you overplay those cards, then they get stale, and your toddler won't want to do them for very long. So, it takes a constant infusement of new ideas to keep him interested. Honestly, I have no idea how the daycare manages to do this every single day for an entire year. And they have eight kids to do this with.

Stuck with this exact dilemma today, I decided to let Troy throw his little plastic ball pit balls down the stairs. But to his surprise and delight, I got the laundry basket and filled it up with balls, so he could send them all down at once in a rainbow river. Then, we'd pick them all up, and we'd do it again. At one point, I even laid down on the stairs, so he could dump the balls and watch them wash over me. He particularly enjoyed this, especially when they hit me in the head.

When he got done dumping the balls, I asked him, "Was that satisfying?" Troy smiled a huge smile and said, "Yes, that was satisfying."

Fish Foot

When I went to pick up Troy from daycare today, he stopped me outside their classroom, and he said, "Dada, let's go look at my fish foot." At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, but then he directed me to a bulletin board that had a whole bunch of footprints on it. Each one had a googly eye and a mouth to make it look like a fish, and they were in an underwater scene. The names were on each one, so you could tell whose foot had contributed to the making of that particular fish. I might be a little biased, but I do believe my son's was the best fish foot up there!

Promise, dada!

I was putting Troy in his bath tonight, when he said, “Dada, I need you to hold my cracker so it doesn’t get wet.” He held out the gnawed-on stump of a graham cracker.

Suddenly, he pulled the cracker back just before my fingers wrapped around it. “Wait! You have to promise not to eat it, dada.” I started laughing. “Promise, dada!”

“Okay, okay, I promise. I don’t want your half-eaten cracker anyway.”

Geesh! You take a bite of his cracker one time, and he never lets you live it down!

It's Not Too Late...To Apologize

I love how Troy will now apologize if he makes a mistake…not once, but multiple times. And if you don’t acknowledge his apology, then he’ll call you out on it. Like the other night when we were reading his Have You Seen My Dinosaur? book.

Troy: “That’s a Triceratops, and a Stegosaurus, and a T-Rex.”

Me: “What’s that there?”

Troy: “That’s a shark!”

Me: “Actually, I think it’s a Megalodon.”

Troy: “Oh, you’re right. Sorry, dada. Sorry, sorry.”

Me: “Okay, let’s flip the page and see what’s next.”

Troy: “I said ‘sorry,’ dada.”

Me: “I know, bud. Thank you.”

Troy: “You’re welcome, dada.”

Confessions

This afternoon, Troy was playing in the den alone. All of a sudden, he yelled out, “Someone just tooted!”

I came from the other room, laughing. “Thanks for announcing it to the house.” After a moment, I added, “Wait. Was it you?”

Troy grinned from ear to ear. “Yeah.”

Dinosaurs in the Park

We got a treat today. My wife happened upon a post detailing that there would be dinosaurs visiting our neighborhood. So, at the appropriate time, we packed ourselves into the car to brave the heat to see some dinosaurs. When we arrived at the park, they had giant bouncy houses set up for the kids to jump on, and there were a LOT of kids. They also had booths with cold treats and a dinosaur show, but we focused on the bouncy houses, while we waited for the dinosaurs to arrive.

When they finally did arrive, there were two of them; a T-Rex and a Velociraptor. They were people in costumes, but they were very realistic, and the kids believed they were seeing real dinosaurs. The coolest part was that they allowed the kids to touch, talk to, and interact with the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs for their part growled and hissed, nipped at wayward hands, whipped their tails around, and bulled with their heads to keep the crowds from pressing in too tightly. It was awesome! All of the kids were terrified when the T-Rex opened his mouth and roared...well, all but one. My son walked right up to him and pet him on the nose...completely fearless.

Skadoosh

There is a scene in Kung Fu Panda 2, where Po is fighting Shen, an evil peacock who is trying to use his armada of boats to take over China. When Po and the Fabulous Five attempt to stop Shen from getting his boats out of the city, Shen opens fire on his own men and blows Po out into the harbor. Po slowly pulls himself out of the water onto a piece of floating wreckage and stands between Shen and open water. Shen has his men open fire on Po, but Po uses his newfound discovery of inner peace to easily catches the fiery cannon balls and send them flying off harmlessly into the water.

But Shen is relentless, sending everything he has at Po, only to watch as one by one his boats are destroyed by their own fiery balls as Po sends them flying back at them. Angry and frustrated, Shen unleashes his giant cannon at Po in one last desperate attempt to finally end the panda's insolence. But Po catches the ball, winds around in a fiery whirlwind of power, and sends it hurling back at Shen's boat. At the moment when he releases the ball, he says his iconic phrase, "Skadoosh!"

Troy loves watching this scene, and especially loves the part where Po says, "Skadoosh!" So, today while I was washing laundry, he went and grabbed one of the dirty pillow cases out of the pile and started whipping it around in a circle around his wrist. When he'd get it into a tight little ball, he'd hurl the unsuspecting pillow case across the room at me and say, "Skadoosh!" Then, he'd run to pick it up and do it all over again. It was amazing.

Unleash the Beast

Troy was pushing my buttons this morning. He knew he was pushing my buttons. I knew he was pushing my buttons. But he kept picking at me. It’s almost like he saw me getting madder and said, “Okay, here we go, now we’re making progress.” So, he’d act more like a turd, turning his head at the last second while I was feeding him, complaining about the TV show and screaming at me. And I felt my patience dissolving. So, I stepped away and did some push-ups to calm down. He realized that he was getting to me, and I imagine him thinking, “Now, we’re making progress. But I know I can do better.” So, he pushed harder and harder and harder. Every time I tried to speak, he screamed. If I raised my voice, he’d scream louder to drown me out. And I finally lost it. I screamed back at him. A ferocious roar that made his squeals seem like a whisper. He stopped and stared at me in a mixture of fear and shock. Then, he started to cry.

It was like he got what he was aiming at only to find out that unleashing the beast wasn’t quite as fun as he’d imagined it would be. Like he finally understood where the line was that he shouldn’t cross, and he’d realized he’d crossed it. This was not a meek person that he could manipulate and pick on. This was a wild, uncontrollable monster. I have told Troy that I’m a werewolf, but I don’t think he really believed me until this morning. He has a short memory, so I don’t imagine it’ll affect him for long. He’ll most likely be back to pushing my buttons this evening. But maybe, just maybe, he’ll be keeping one eye on me while he’s doing it. Just in case.

The Whistling Nose

On the way home today from picking up Troy from daycare, I heard a whistling noise coming from the back seat. I thought maybe it was the wind blowing by the window outside or a bug in the car. But it was rhythmic, almost like breathing. I listened harder, and it sounded like it was coming from Troy’s side of the car. So, I asked him, “What’s that whistling noise? Is that your nose?” Troy started laughing, “Yeah!” It then became a game to him to make his nose whistle louder, which only made him laugh harder.