Taco Baby

They have this thing at work where if you help someone out or do a particularly great job on something, then they give you a taco. Not a real taco, just an emoticon. But the program tracks how many tacos you receive, and each month our director gives out a $50 gift card to the highest taco earner for the month.

I have managed to accumulate so many gift cards over the last eight months that my wife came to me the other day and said, "You have $250 in cards here from your tacos. What do you want to use them on." I replied, "Whatever you need is fine." So, we're paying for our baby medication with them. We are literally paying for our baby with tacos!

The 18%

Today, my wife came into my office crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that she'd been reading on the internet about how 82% of embryos conceived through science are unviable. I looked at her and asked, "So 18% of embryos conceived through science are viable?" She said, "Well yeah, I guess." I said, "Good. Because God works in the 18%."

Daddy Down...We Have a Daddy Down!

I know that when the Good Lord blesses us with a baby that my wife will insist upon it sleeping in our room with us. This may not seem like a big deal, except that I sleep light enough to hear a cricket sneeze a mile away, while my wife could sleep through a nuclear bomb going off. So I figure it'll be me that the baby is waking up all the time. I told my boss that I might be sleeping in the guest room with a baby monitor...turned to off.

My boss told me that when his twins were babies that he was the one that would get up with them at night. He said it wasn't too bad as long as it was only one of them. But if the other one started to wake up while he was there, then he'd use the baby monitor to call for backup. "Mayday, mayday, daddy down...need backup! Send reinforcements immediately!"