Support Partner

We had our first baby class today, which was on the labor and delivery process.  I learned one thing very quickly.  You don’t want to be the guy that doesn’t take care of his girl.  There are a whole lot of women with hormones judging your behavior, and none more than the woman you’re with.  You don’t want to go home that night having neglected your wife.  It may be normal behavior for you, but when compared to guys that are taking care of their wives, it becomes more apparent and much less acceptable.  The epitome of “How come you don’t do that for me?!” amplified a hundred fold.

The second thing I learned is that delivery of a baby is a scary proposition...for everyone.  I have no desire to be anywhere near the end of that table.  I got light-headed just watching the video of it.  I had no idea they’d be slapping a bloody, mucus-covered baby right onto his mother seconds after he exited the birth canal.  I thought they’d clean him up first.  But apparently they do that while he’s lying on her, so the skin-to-skin bonding can happen immediately.

The nurse was talking about the importance of the support partner (i.e. me) during the delivery process.  That person is supposed to encourage, soothe, and cater to his wife's every need.  My wife seemed excited at this part and turned to me expectantly.  I knew what she wanted, some confirmation of my excitement and anticipation of this moment.  Honestly, I was panicking.  I looked right at her, and said, "I am happy to be your support partner, but I can’t guarantee I won’t pass out at some point.  I do promise to hang on to your hand, even if I'm lying unconscious on the floor next to the bed."

If my wife has a cesarean, then she can only have one person in the room with her.  Again, she looked at me, but with a little less confidence this time.  I asked her if she sure that she wants me in there, rather than her mother.  She replied, "Definitely.  But if you come in there, then you have to promise to stay upright.  I can't be worried about you and the baby at the same time."  I don't know if I can keep that promise, so I told her that we better have her mother suited up and on standby, just in case.  She agreed.