Dad Couture

I have gotten used to Troy spitting up on me when I'm holding him.  Although to be fair, most of the time it's just drool with a little bit of milk for color.  I'll end up with these irregularly-shaped wet patches all over the shoulders and front of my shirts.  Someone pointed it out to me one day that I had drool on my shirt, and I just told them that it was "Dad Couture."  Anybody who was anybody was wearing it this year.  I'm thinking of messing up shirts on purpose and selling them in my own clothing line.  I mean if Kanye West can sell acid-eaten, threadbare trashy sweaters for hundreds of dollars, then I figure there is a market for shirts that come pre-spit-up on.

Favorites...Baby Style

Everyone always talks about playing favorites as a parent, where you're more partial to one of your children over another.  Nobody ever talks about your child playing favorites, where he's more partial to one parent over another.  My son seems to prefer me to my wife.  He just acts differently around me than he does with her.  He's generally more happy and smiley at my goofy antics or when I'm talking to him.  And while I secretly love this about him, I can't express it in front of her.

I have noticed that she seems a bit jealous of the attention and reactions that I get from him.  I have seen her trying to mimic the games I play or the way I interact with him.  As if she can recreate the magic, if she acts like me.  It doesn't work.  He can sense something fake about it.  And that I believe is the true magic.  I'm not trying to be someone else.  I'm just me.  I'm relaxed and real and goofy.  And I think he likes that about me.  It's comforting and fun for him.  I really think my wife would have more success, if she'd relax and be herself.  She doesn't need to try so hard.  He'll love her for her, not because she's acting like me.

She'll figure it out.  Until then, I'm eating up the attention from him.  Dads don't get the headstart to bonding that moms get, so I'll take whatever I can get that gets me closer to my son's affections.

Mini 'Cano

When my wife and I first heard the song "Love the Way you Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna nine years ago, we were struck by one particular line in the song.  The song talks about the tumultuous, violent relationship of the singer with his girlfriend.  But there is a line in the song that says, "Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano."  This line describes the relationship between my wife and I perfectly.

She is like a tornado; a chaotic, unpredictable force of energy.  The other thing about a tornado is its continuous nature.  It cuts a path of destruction, using the power of it's winds to affect everything that gets near it.  I should have guessed about this early on when I found out her favorite cartoon character was the Tasmanian Devil.

I, on the other hand, am like a volcano.  For the most part, I am dormant and calm.  But when the conditions are just right, I will explode with a violent fury.  And after the event has run its course, I will subside into dormancy once again.  

The other odd thing about volcanoes is how hot they get.  I am a perpetual heat source.  My wife will encourage me to go to bed first in the winter to get the sheets all toasty.  She also will curl up next to me when she's cold, because I'm always hot.  In the office, I'm seemingly the only person that does not walk around in a blanket or heavy jacket.  Most people find it too cold, but I find it either just right or too warm.  I chalk this up to being a volcano inside.

What I have noticed about my son is that he runs on the hot side as well.  When he lays in my arms, I can feel the heat radiating off of him.  After a long nap, we're both usually sweating.  It's like our bodies are competing to give away the warmth to the other one.  I've started to call him my mini 'cano.  I just hope he doesn't have the violent temper to go with it!

I Love You

As you lay snoozing on my lap, I want to whisper to you how much I love you...every stinky inch of you. I love your mischievous smile, your beautiful blue eyes, your spiky hair, your curling toes, your pudgy thighs, your Buddha belly, and your soft gentle fingers. I love that you love to get and give hugs. I love how much you love sleeping in my arms. I love how much you enjoy playing the monkey feet blanket game with me at breakfast. I love the little "grrrr" noise you make when you're happy and want me to notice you, and I love how you laugh when I do it back to you. I love how you reach out to touch my arm even in your sleep. I love how you won’t go completely to sleep until you have freed your feet like your mama. I love your peaceful snore and the way your little lips make an “O” when you’re passed out. I love the way you stretch completely out, arms reaching over your head and legs as straight as possible, when you are waking up. I love the way you take your bib and hold it over your face to shield your eyes from the sun when I pick you up from daycare. I love the gasping, breathy cooing sounds you make when you’re drinking your bottle. I love the way you smile and laugh when I tell you what a beautiful, special, wonderful son you are...like you agree too. And I love how you curl and flex your toes when you’re sucking down your bottle. In short, I love getting to know and experience every single thing that makes you...you. I am very proud and pleased with you. I love you my little prince, my baby, my son.

Bacterial Conjunctivitis

Well, he's been at the daycare for a grand total of one week, and he's already sick. My son managed to get bacterial conjunctivitis, which is a highly contagious eye infection, in his right eye. The doctor said that most likely someone at the daycare was sick with maybe a cold virus, which he picked up and rubbed in his eye, and it turned into conjunctivitis. This infection caused his eye to get red and inflamed, swelling almost completely shut. On top of that, he had a green puss coming from his tear ducts, which was gooey and thick. When he sleeps, it gets so bad that it essentially glues his eye completely shut. He freaks out, because he doesn't understand why he can't open it. We have to wipe it with a warm rag to get it off, so he can open his eye again.

The doctor gave us some "gooey" drops to put in his eyes, which we have to get to stick to his bottom eyelid, so he can blink it into his eye. He is not happy about us prying his swollen, inflamed eyelid open to put this foreign substance in his eye. Hopefully, it starts to work quickly. Poor little guy.

I Luv

Last night, I was holding Troy, and my wife was kissing his cheeks and nose. Every time she did, she would say, “I love you.” My son, who was in a very talkative mood, giggled and said something that sounded exactly like, “I luv” back to her each time. It was probably the single cutest thing I’ve witnessed between them since that moment in the hospital when they touched cheeks and fell in love. It was like he was trying so hard to mimic her and express his feelings toward her, but he couldn't quite get it all out.  

I know most people would just say that I am attaching a meaning to his random sounds that aren't actually there, but I don't believe that I am.  He made the exact same combination of sounds every single time in response, and I have never heard him make those sounds at any other time.  I believe he was genuinely trying to tell her that he loved her.

First Ice Cream

We had to go to the dealership today to get my wife's license plates. It was a hot day, so on the way home, we decided to stop and get ice cream. Wanting to let Troy experience all that the world has to offer, I put a little bit of my vanilla ice cream on the tip of my spoon and let him lick at it. He didn't seem to know what to make of it. It apparently was very different than the other milk he's been drinking, not bad because he didn't pull away, just different.

A few minutes later, I had to run out to the car to get something, and I handed off the munchkin to my wife. She was eating chocolate ice cream, and I explicitly told her not to give him any of it. Of course, I came back in the restaurant to see his face covered in chocolate ice cream! Oh well, I guess he needs to taste a variety to get the full experience.

Laundry, laundry...with a side of laundry

It seems like all we do anymore is wash the baby's clothes. Every day, we are doing another load because he's out of bibs or onesies that actually fit or clean sheets for his bed. We have so many extras, and yet we still end up doing laundry every day. It's so bad that we don't even get around to doing our own laundry! It's not until I'm having to rewear the same underwear that it becomes apparent that an emergency load of our own clothes is needed. Even then, we'll just end up throwing some of our clothes in with his, because inevitably we still need to do another load for him as well.

The Head Scratcher

My son loves to have his head scratched, especially when he's trying to go to sleep. He seems to find it soothing, and he will slowly close his eyes and drift away into bliss. He seems to enjoy my wife's head scratches more, probably because she has fingernails, but he'll take whatever he can get.  Lately, he's been helping with the head scratching. He'll lay there with his eyes closed, sucking on the pacifier, and he'll reach up to grab your hand and guide it to the spot he likes the most. If you're still not doing it right, then he'll just do it himself, rubbing his little pudgy palm gently back and forth across his hair. It is the cutest thing to see him giving himself a head scratch.

Half Power

If Troy has had his usual 3 bottles, and he wants another one, he’ll start to fuss and cry to let you know he’s not done yet. However, lately he’s only been giving it a halfway cry, like either he’s not quite sure yet that he wants a fourth bottle, or he just can’t muster the energy or investment to go all the way with it. I was laughing imagining him saying, “Look I’m only going to give it half power today, and hopefully that’s enough for your pea-sized intellect to understand. I mean seriously, don’t you see how weak I am from you starving me?! I can’t even go full power with this cry!”

Three Months

My son is three months old today.  On the one hand, I can't believe time has flown by so quickly.  I can remember the day he was born, and spending the week in the hospital, like it was yesterday.  On the other hand, I can't believe it's only been three months.  He has so completely taken over our lives, that I can't remember what life was like before he got here.  It seems like it was always the three of us.  Our own little family unit.

So much has changed in the last three months, but mostly our perspective on life and what's important.  Maybe I blocked out my previous life, because it seems so unfulfilling and unrewarding now in comparison.  I definitely wouldn't want to go back to it.  I definitely don't want to be an un-dad again.  I love my little buddy so much that sometimes it's overwhelming.  Even when I think that I couldn't possibly love him any more, tomorrow happens, and I do.

So, happy three months of life, son.  I'm proud of you and proud to be your father.  In recognition of his anniversary, I dressed him up in his Batman outfit and turned him into the "Dark Baby," complete with cape and cowl.

The Godbaby

I caught my son napping after his bottle today, and he had his hand laid across his belly and his head bent down, giving him a double chin. The first thing I thought when I saw him was that he looked like a mob boss in repose. So, of course, I took the opportunity to put him into his latest meme...The Godbaby.

I wanted to give it some special touches to make it unique to him, so besides changing the title, I also redid the hand holding the marionette to be Troy's actual hand.  I also took the famous quote from the movie, "Leave the gun, take the cannoli," and changed it to "Leave the bottle, take the cannoli."  And he of course got top billing in the credits at the bottom.  All in all, I was happy with the result.

Hide the Feet

Today, I spent 20 minutes playing “hide the feet with the blanket,” where I put the covers over Troy’s feet, and he uses his monkey feet to pull it off again. He thoroughly enjoys pulling it off and watching me try to put it on again, as is indicative by the huge grin on his face and the bubbly “grrr” sound he makes in laughter. And I say try, because he goes out of his way to prevent me from winning, from raising his feet in the air to grabbing the blanket with his toes. But the strange thing that I realized today is how much I also enjoy playing this game with him. I love talking to him, watching him smile at me, and trying to outsmart his little legs and toes. Who would have thought that a forty-year old man would love playing some activity that is so simple and childish for so long?!

Better Father

My wife and I were talking to a friend of ours, and my wife said that having a baby has completely changed her perspective on God. She can better understand God’s unconditional, unending love for His children. She gets the need, the desire, to want to be close and connect...to have a relationship with with your children. The forgiveness, the latitude for making mistakes and not holding it against them.

It’s easier to understand the Father’s heart when you’re a parent yourself. Your perspective changes. But sometimes I think it’s easy to get caught up in the raising of the baby and forget to look back at God. It’s easy to miss this deeper understanding of God as a parent and use the birth of your child to grow closer to Him. It’s like how parents with new babies will seek each other out and band together. Like a support group. Or like how new parents will seek comfort and advice from their own parents or older friends. We can do the same with God, because He understands our struggles and frustrations, He never gets tired of hearing our baby stories, and He’d love to give us help and advice.

Good Father

I asked my wife today if she thought I was a good father. She hesitated, thoughtfully looked out the window, and said, “Meh, yeah you’re okay.” I can’t believe that’s how she answered me. But what I can’t believe even more is that at that exact moment the baby laughed at me, eyes twinkling, pudgy cheeks pushed wide in a smile. I couldn’t figure out if he actually thought I was a great father despite what my wife says, or if he thought my wife’s answer was hilarious. Traitor...both of them!

Perfect!

I told my son today that he’s perfect. I know my son is not perfect. I mean nobody is. But he’s perfect for me. All of his personality and all of his flaws are unique to him, and I love that. I wouldn’t change a thing about him. He’s perfect.

Stormy Dreams and Sleeping Babies

Last night, a string of thunderstorms rolled through our area. The wind, rain, thunder, and lightning went all night and all morning. Normally, I would be afraid that all of this chaos would wake up our little infant, but instead he slept through it all. In fact, he slept completely through the night...eight straight hours before he started to fuss a little around 6 am this morning. My wife actually was so worried that she wanted to wake him up, but I told her to leave him alone. He’s not been taking very many good naps lately, so I think he’s generally exhausted. The weather just helped to give him a calming backdrop to lull him to sleep. Even after we fed him this morning, he drifted back off to sleep in his bassinet by the table, while I ate my breakfast and watched over his dreams. It’s just one of those lazy days where you enjoy doing nothing.

Show Me Teeth!

Our son is showing all of the classic signs of teething already, which is about 2-4 months ahead of schedule. He’s started drooling a lot, pulling his ears, taking shorter and restless naps, chewing on the nipple while he’s feeding, getting more irritable and being inconsolable, and biting his little fists. Everyone I tell that to is amazed since he’s only 2.5 months old. I think he’s just in a hurry to grow up! We have taken to using the pacifier even more because it gives him something to chew on other than his hands, and we went to get some teething things you can freeze. Apparently the cold is more soothing. I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up already!

Knotts...Troy Knotts

My wife took a picture of Troy dressed in his tuxedo onesie today and made a comment how dapper he looked, just like James Bond. So, playing on that concept, I decided to make that his latest meme.  Thus was born, "From Cradle with Love."

The two "O"s in the title double as the first two letters in double-O seven with the seven making up the handle of a pistol. The same concept was used in the first two Daniel Craig Bond movies, "Casino Royale" and "Quantum of Solace."  I also put the famous "gun barrel view" at the bottom with a silhouette of Troy holding a bottle instead of a pistol. And the final piece was a recipe for a Babytini variation of the famous Vesper Martini.

I think it turned out pretty cool.

Popcorn Poops

For some strange reason, Troy’s been pooping a lot more lately, and his poops all smell like movie-butter popcorn. It’s odd and hilarious. We’ll be sitting on the couch, and my wife will say, “Is someone making popcorn?” And I’ll reply, “Troy.” So now we’ve started indicating the need for a diaper change by saying that Troy made some popcorn. Looking this up online had revealed that apparently this is a common thing, and that baby poop smell can range in variety from popcorn to cupcakes. This is obviously the good spectrum and doesn’t discount all of those parents that have the bad spectrum. I guess we’re one of the lucky ones.

www.scarymommy.com/babies-poop-smells-good/

Plug-In Baby

My son has started to make an o-shape with his mouth when he’s expecting his bottle. I feel like I’m plugging in my iPhone or something into the socket as I slide the nipple of the bottle over his lips. Except instead of charging the bottle, we’re charging the baby. He drains the milk out of it like it’s a battery, and he’s powering up! My wife asked how we know he’s actually drinking and not just sucking on the nipple. I told her to look for the charging light to turn from red to green.

Bacon-Flavored Baby Formula

My son showed a fascinating amount of interest in the bacon that my wife cooked for breakfast this morning. As a joke, I told him that I was going to get him some bacon-flavored formula. Out of curiosity, I looked it up, only to find that someone has actually put this out. Now I’m intrigued!

The Angel Kiss and the Stork Bite

Troy has these little reddish marks on his forehead and left eyelid. He’s had them since birth, and the doctor told us not to worry about them because they should fade over time. He’s got a similar mark on the back of his neck. Apparently, the ones on his face are called Angel Kisses and the one on his neck is called a Stork Bite. My research says that angel kisses should go away anytime between two months and two years. Stork bites, however, may never fully go away. I guess at least his hair should cover it.

Blue

I noticed today that my son’s eyes are bluer than they were when he was born. They are still dark, just less gray and more blue now. They have a beautiful midnight blue ring around the outside with a lighter gray-blue burst around his pupil. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Praise You in this Storm

Tonight, we are experiencing a violent thunderstorm outside. The wind is tossing the trees back and forth with such disregard that I’m sure that they’ll all be broken in two in the morning. Lightning lights up the sky in an almost constant streak, illuminating thick and darkened clouds, slowing rolling across overhead. Thunder inevitably follows the lightning, booming so loud and hard that the windows on the house shake with the force.

The baby was sleeping alone in our bedroom when the storm hit, so I came in here to sit by his bassinet, to keep him company and comfort him if he got scared. I watched his little face, illuminated by the flashes of lightning, as he slept peacefully, seemingly oblivious to the storm raging outside. And as I listened to his even breaths in between the thunder, the song Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns started playing in my head.

But once again, I say amen

That it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear your whisper through the rain

I'm with you

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

The God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm

And I will lift my hands

That you are who you are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise you in this storm

And I realize that this is why my son is not scared of the storm, because he’s resting in God’s hands. He is loved and protected by the Father above. And so I praise Him in this storm for watching over my little guy. I should have never been worried.

Hodor, Hodor, Hodor!

My son likes to be held and carried around the house. If my wife tries to stop and sit down because her back hurts, then he starts to cry. I told her that she needs to get moving, because he needs to be mobile. I told her that she’s Hodor from Game of Thrones, and her entire job is to carry him around wherever he wants. As long as she’s moving, he’s content. Hodor, Hodor, Hodor.