Book Party: The Party

After a month of planning, the day of the party was finally here. We had a great turnout with 28 friends and family bustling around our house and enjoying Troy’s company. My wife got a small bouncy castle that we could have indoors, and when my mom showed up early to help us finish getting set up, we put her on figuring out how to blow it up! We opened up the upstairs for the kids to enjoy the nursery, the ball pit, the bouncy castle, the teepee, the cardboard castle, and the gadget board (which was a huge hit among all of the kids).

We had brought in catered barbecue from Hard 8, which was fantastic. And I had set up horseshoes in the back yard for people to enjoy the weather, which was an absolute perfect 74 degrees. We had toys out for the kids in the den, and I had put on a slide show of various pictures of Troy through the year on the TV. People amused themselves with the various areas we had set up, but mostly people wanted to hang out with the birthday boy. Funny enough, toward the end of the party, my wife came up to me and asked if I intended to spend any time with Troy at all. I had gotten so caught up with hosting that I had neglected the guest of honor! Luckily, he had had plenty of people to keep him entertained.

It was hard to believe that time had gone by so quickly, but just like that, three hours had already passed and people started to disperse. Some to other parties or gatherings, and others to get their kids down for a nap. And that's where we suddenly realized that we screwed up. We planned the party to start and be going on right in the middle of Troy's nap time. He started to get cranky and upset, because he was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep because there was too much going on. Tonight is going to be a rough night.

All in all, it was a fantastic one-year birthday party. I applaud the enormous efforts that my wife and mother-in-law put into preparing for it. And I thank everyone who overwhelmed my son with dozens and dozens of new books! It was the perfect theme, and the perfect way to celebrate his first birthday.

Party Prep

Troy’s birthday party is tomorrow, and our house is in full panic mode. My wife’s extravagant ideas for the party, and her unfortunate timing of leaving it all until the day before, have left us in a really bad place. So my mother-in-law has been in the kitchen all day making all kinds of desserts and cakes. My wife focused on the front entryway decorations; which consisted of balloon towers, a month-by-month picture banner of Troy, and a gigantic “Once Upon a Time” on the wall. And me? Well I was everywhere! I cleaned up the outside patio, blew up balloons for my wife, stuck the giant letters on the wall, stacked food on plates for my mother-in-law as it came out of the oven, cleaned the house, assembled a ball pit, made custom bookmarks to give away as party favors, and assembled little bags of gummy worms a.k.a. “bookworms.”

It’s two o’clock in the morning, and cake preparations are still going on in the kitchen. My wife’s idea was to make a cake that looked like a stack of disheveled books. Having never attempted to make a cake before, this might not have been the best choice to start with. But she’s determined, despite the fact that videos on the Internet make it look easier than reality is proving to be.

The Moment

I picked Troy up early from daycare today as a special treat for both of us on his birthday. When we got home, I leaned into the car to touch my forehead to his. He smiled and put a part kiss part spit on my cheek. When I tried to pull away, he reached up and gently put one hand on one of my cheeks and his other hand on my other cheek. Then he pulled my face back to him until we were touching noses. We stayed like that for several seconds, and then he slapped me in the face. I guess our sweet moment was over.

Happy 1st Birthday!

Happy birthday to my awesome little man! Today started much like it did one year ago with a screaming baby who only wanted to eat and snuggle up next to his nice warm mommy. The day outside is much like it was one year ago as well; gray, overcast, windy, and cold.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year already. So much has happened, but at the same time it has gone by so fast. I asked Troy this morning how we did as parents over the last year. Does he want to keep us for another year or trade us in? He simply looked at me and smiled, then he wrapped his little arms around my neck and hugged me with all his considerable strength. I guess that means we’re good for another year.

I am so proud of all that Troy has learned and accomplished so far. I have loved watching him experience the world. I couldn’t ask for a better son.

“and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.””

Matthew 3:17 NASB

And Troy is my beloved son in whom I am well-pleased. I look forward to all of the adventures that we’ll go on in the next year! Happy birthday, munchkin. I love you more than you’ll ever know and definitely more than words alone could ever express.

Dancing

We've noticed that Troy has made the connection between music and moving his body in time to it. He has several toys that play music. He'll make them start playing a song, and then we notice that he'll bounce, sway, and clap in time to the music. If it plays a different song, then he moves differently in response to that song.

Last night, we went to an Italian restaurant to have dinner with friends, and they had jazz music playing over the speakers, quietly in the background. Apparently, Troy heard it even through the din of noise and conversation, because I caught him at several points swaying and bobbing his head to the music. It's cute to watch him dancing. And he generally seems to be enjoying it and having fun.

Scream

Troy has started to “sing” while we’re in the car. He really just belts out a single note at the top of his lungs. He might go up and down the scale a bit, but no actual words or variation from that perspective. Unfortunately, he has started to lean to one side of his car seat and make this one-syllable “scream” as we’re going around curves and corners. It makes it seem like he’s scared of my driving or something, which can’t be since we're doing about 5 miles an hour! I think he's just being cheeky, like his mother is when I'm driving.

Acknowledge

Troy has started to clap all the time, especially after he accomplishes something that he believes deserves acknowledgement. We, of course, clap along with him to encourage him. Today, I had a notification pop up on my phone from the daycare that Troy had had a bathroom break. I found myself clapping to acknowledge his accomplishment. I’m definitely smitten, and he’s definitely wormed his way into just about every facet of my life.

Spurt

Last night, Troy woke up in the middle of the night wanting food. He’s been doing this the last couple of nights, so he’s probably going through a growth spurt again. After we fed him, he didn’t want to go back in the crib, and being exhausted ourselves, we let him sleep between us in the bed. He started out clinging to my wife, but at some point, he snuggled up next to me. I let him sleep on my pillow like he likes to do, and I had my arm around him holding him against me. He stayed like that for the rest of the night, snoring softly in my ear, until I had to get up and get ready for work this morning. I didn’t want to leave him, partly because he was so warm and partly because I was loving the contact. I know we shouldn’t and can’t have him do this every night, but I cherish the occasional time when I can hold my little boy while he sleeps, like we used to when he was younger.

Bubble Fun

For Valentine's Day, a couple of the parents in Troy's class gave out little bubble toys, with soapy water and blowing sticks. My wife decided to play with Troy by blowing bubbles into the air to see what he'd do. At first, he was mesmerized and curious. Then, he transitioned to trying to catch them, only to have them pop the moment they touched his hand. Finally, he resorted to simply trying to pop as many as he could reach before they hit the floor! I was entertaining him by blowing the bubbles back up into the air, so they'd do a little aerial dance for him, which he seemed to enjoy immensely, laughing and giggling every time they'd float out of his reach.

Seek and Destroy

I took Troy’s sets of round and octagonal blocks and built them into three separate towers today. I put the towers at various places on his play mat, so that he couldn’t reach them without having to crawl from one to the other. I then let Troy go. Within 20 seconds, he had methodically gone from one to the next and knocked them down. No matter what he was doing or where I put them, as soon as I was done (and sometimes before I was done), he would crawl over and knock it down. And then he’d casually go back to whatever he was doing before. He refused to let a tower stand in his vicinity for more than a few seconds. He was like an efficient hunter, seeking and destroying his objectives!

Apparently, this is a milestone by one year of age to enjoy destroying stuff.  He of course mastered this enjoyment a while ago, but its his ruthless efficiency that I'm noticing now.  Destroying my carefully constructed masterpieces, feeds his sense of understanding cause and effect, teaches him about gravity, improves his hand-eye coordination, and gives him a sense of control over his little world.  Who knew?  I just thought he loved undoing everything I did...time and time and time again.

Valentine's Day Party

Troy's class had a Valentine's Day party today, which the parents were invited to. My wife and I both decided to get off work and go, as a show of support for him. I'm glad we went, because he would have been one of the few kids without a parent there. But it really wasn't much of a party. Basically, we showed up during the afternoon snack time, so the parents got to feed their individual kids. Then, the kids played while the parents interacted with them. Nothing really related to Valentine's Day until we were leaving, when they gave each kid a bag full of treats and valentine's from their fellow classmates. Oh well, we got to spend more time with Troy, and we got to take off work earlier than normal. So, I guess it wasn't a total loss!

Weaning

We’ve been trying to start weaning Troy off the pacifier. The pediatrician told us by one year. Everything I have read says by 18 months. Apparently, it starts to affect their teeth and dental palate. We thought we’d start now and target him being fully off by 18 months.

All I can say is that Troy is not on board with the plan (and truly neither is my wife). He has upped his whining, and eventual crying, game to express his displeasure with us taking it away. We have still been giving it to him after a bottle and when he sleeps, because it seems to soothe him. But now that we’ve been “starving” him of it, he’s started to want it all the time. Everything I have read has said that you have to remain strong, and he’ll give up on it after a week or so. But remaining strong when he’s crying is not in my wife’s vocabulary. So now I’m having to fight both the baby and my wife. And needless to say, the process is taking longer than it should.

My go-to technique is to try to distract him with something else, a toy or game. And most likely whatever I give him instead will eventually end up in his mouth, but at least its not his pacifier. Besides, he won't chew on the distraction for very long, because it's not as soft and soothing as the pacifier. And unless he's falling asleep, the distraction technique usually works pretty well. When his eyes are closed, though, nothing works but having that pacifier.

Young Toddler

This week, they have been transitioning Troy from the Infant room to the Young Toddler room. This room is a transition room between Infant and Toddler. Apparently, they start to learn skills they need for the older class; like sleeping on cots, having one nap a day, drinking out of a Sippy Cup, moving away from bottles to more solid foods, and eating at a table instead of in a highchair.

We are apprehensive about this move, as it represents his first significant change since he was cognizantly aware of what was going on around him, and we are quite fond of the teachers in the Infant room. Also, we're not thrilled about the prospect of him moving onto school food, as we'll have no say in what goes into our son's body. So far, we have been keeping him on a very clean, very organic diet. Now, he'll start getting pumped with preservatives and canned food. They claim that this is the only way that they can manage the various food allergies that the kids have, but it limits our choices as parents.

The potential up side to this move is that he'll now be around older kids with more advanced skills, which should help him progress faster in things like getting on a more-defined schedule, walking, and being more independent with drinking and eating. I did notice and think it was funny that he's the same size or bigger than all of the other kids in the class, despite the fact that some of them are 18-24 months old!

Painting Suns

We received a picture from Troy's daycare today, showing him painting a sun on a paper plate with bright yellow paint.  They were learning about circles today in class, so I can only assume that the finished product was supposed to look sort of roundish.  It does not.  It's sort of an abstract blob with lines coming off of it. 

But then I got to thinking.  Maybe Troy is actually performing at a higher level than we're capable of comprehending.  Maybe he's trying to recreate not the sun that we see in amateurish paintings, but the actual orb in the sky complete with solar flares and sunbeams.  Maybe he's trying to illustrate the phenomenon of light in a constantly varying and changing context on a 2D surface.  Maybe he's sitting there, silently screaming out, "I am doing the best I can here to create a complex thing in the sky, that gives off light and warmth, that changes color as it filters through the atmospheric gases, that is hidden by floating water particles, that pulses and flares, that is a loosely held together ball of gases and fire.  And I'm trying to compose all of this with a single color.  To create depth and subtle changes.  To have you look at this paper plate and understand all that the sun is with...one...single...color!  So, save your commentary and criticism, and just be happy that I'm not eating this paint right now!"

Dreams Don't Die...They Just Become Other Dreams

I recently had an opportunity to pursue a different job.  It would be a complete change from what I'm currently doing, going from doing consulting work to being a technical instructor.  However, as often happens when you switch career directions, it would mean a significant pay cut from my current salary.  At first, I felt like we could make it work.  After all, we had lived on less before.  But that was before Troy.

I really feel like I need to do something different with my life, and teaching has always been a passion of mine.  But how can I put my family in that stressful situation just to pursue my dreams?  I want to be able to give them the best that I can.  I want to be able to put aside money for my son's future.  We have received a lot of blessings from my mother-in-law and my mother.  I'm not sure that we could have made it through what we've endured without them.  And I want to be able to bless my son the same way.  I want to be able to help him with his first home.  I want to be able to help him pay off his debt, so he's not wasting money on interest charges.  I want to help him buy a car, so he doesn't have to carpool with his boss anymore.  I want to be able to help him pay for infertility treatments, if he should have the same challenges that we've had.

I have worked so hard all my life, not so I could indulge in stuff for myself or portray some image to the world of how successful I am.  I have done it, so my family could live comfortably and not have to worry about the occasional indulgence or about eating organic food.  I had a pretty good life, but I want to give my son an even better life than I had.  It's every parent's dream for their child.

And that's when it hit me.  I have other dreams that don't involve my career.  I have dreams for my son and his life.  I have dreams that we might be able to add to our little family and give Troy a sibling.  I know how expensive it was to be blessed with Troy, and I know that it'll be expensive to be blessed with another gift from God.  I'm going to need my salary to help make it through that.  It's not that I don't believe that God will take care of me either way.  I know that He will.  I just know that He's already blessed me, and I'd be a fool to throw that away on something that doesn't really matter and jeopardize something that does.

So today, I wrote to the technical recruiter and told her that I was pulling out of consideration for the technical instructor position.  I feel peace about the decision.  I know that it was the right move.  It's hard to keep going to the job I have, because I'm clearly not happy, but I'll survive.  I always do.  God has been with me through it all, and He'll be with me going forward.  I will try not to focus on how miserable I am, and instead try to focus on looking for the positive and making the most of my opportunities.  At least I can go in every day and know that I'm doing it for my wife and for Troy...and maybe one day soon, for another little baby.

Olaf

I took Troy shopping with me tonight to Kroger's to buy some groceries. I'm not sure what made me turn the cart down the toy aisle, but I did. At the very end of it, they had a clearance section, where they had drastically marked down items that they were trying to get rid of. My eyes were drawn to a large Olaf plush toy from the movie Frozen 2. I picked it up, and Troy immediately grabbed it out of my hands and hugged it. It was pretty cheap after the mark down, so I thought why not get him a treat for no reason at all.

Later this evening, when I was feeding Troy his bottle, I put the Olaf doll next to him, so he could run his hands up and down it to feel the softness. He likes to do this while he's drinking. I guess it soothes and comforts him. As the liquid slowly faded from the bottle, his little eyes were slowly closing shut. By the time the bottle was empty, he was completely out. And Olaf's little carrot nose was firmly clasped in his sleeping fingers. I guess he likes the toy.