Dreams Don't Die...They Just Become Other Dreams

I recently had an opportunity to pursue a different job.  It would be a complete change from what I'm currently doing, going from doing consulting work to being a technical instructor.  However, as often happens when you switch career directions, it would mean a significant pay cut from my current salary.  At first, I felt like we could make it work.  After all, we had lived on less before.  But that was before Troy.

I really feel like I need to do something different with my life, and teaching has always been a passion of mine.  But how can I put my family in that stressful situation just to pursue my dreams?  I want to be able to give them the best that I can.  I want to be able to put aside money for my son's future.  We have received a lot of blessings from my mother-in-law and my mother.  I'm not sure that we could have made it through what we've endured without them.  And I want to be able to bless my son the same way.  I want to be able to help him with his first home.  I want to be able to help him pay off his debt, so he's not wasting money on interest charges.  I want to help him buy a car, so he doesn't have to carpool with his boss anymore.  I want to be able to help him pay for infertility treatments, if he should have the same challenges that we've had.

I have worked so hard all my life, not so I could indulge in stuff for myself or portray some image to the world of how successful I am.  I have done it, so my family could live comfortably and not have to worry about the occasional indulgence or about eating organic food.  I had a pretty good life, but I want to give my son an even better life than I had.  It's every parent's dream for their child.

And that's when it hit me.  I have other dreams that don't involve my career.  I have dreams for my son and his life.  I have dreams that we might be able to add to our little family and give Troy a sibling.  I know how expensive it was to be blessed with Troy, and I know that it'll be expensive to be blessed with another gift from God.  I'm going to need my salary to help make it through that.  It's not that I don't believe that God will take care of me either way.  I know that He will.  I just know that He's already blessed me, and I'd be a fool to throw that away on something that doesn't really matter and jeopardize something that does.

So today, I wrote to the technical recruiter and told her that I was pulling out of consideration for the technical instructor position.  I feel peace about the decision.  I know that it was the right move.  It's hard to keep going to the job I have, because I'm clearly not happy, but I'll survive.  I always do.  God has been with me through it all, and He'll be with me going forward.  I will try not to focus on how miserable I am, and instead try to focus on looking for the positive and making the most of my opportunities.  At least I can go in every day and know that I'm doing it for my wife and for Troy...and maybe one day soon, for another little baby.