Mama is a Socket

Troy: “Why don’t girls have a wee wee?”
Me: “They do.”
Troy: “Well, why don’t they have a wee wee that sticks out?”
Me: “That’s a fair question. Come over here, and I’ll explain it to you. Do you see this plug?”
Troy: “Yeah.”
Me: “Do you see how it sticks out like our wee wee?”
Troy: “Yeah.”
Me: “Now, if I try to connect it to this plug, which also sticks out, it won’t work, right?”
Troy: “Right. You have to plug it into the wall.”
Me: “Exactly. But notice that the wall socket doesn’t stick out, it’s more like a hole, right?”
Troy: “Yeah.”
Me: “So, that’s more like a girl. The two can’t be the same or they won’t connect. They have to be opposites, so the plug can go into the socket.”
Troy: “So…what you’re saying is that mama is a socket?”
Me [laughing]: “Yes…mama is a socket.”

On a side note: I’m just glad that he didn’t ask me why the plug and the socket need to connect, because I was not ready to have that conversation yet!

Ace 2!

Troy: “Oh my gosh, dada! Slowbro just killed all three of the Rocket Team’s Pokémon, and he’s still green!”
Me: “Really?! That’s awesome!”
Troy: “Yeah, Slowbro is ace!”
Me: “He most certainly is.”

Booster

Today, Troy had his class field trip to the Perot Museum, and I missed it. I’m sick about it…but frankly I’m also just sick. I’ve been congested and coughing violently since last Sunday, so I didn’t feel that it would be a good idea to be around the kids. So, my mom came up to go in my place. Gauge’s parents left on a vacation for two weeks, so my wife volunteered to chaperone Troy and Gauge on the field trip. Knowing that she’d never be able to keep up with the two of them alone, I wanted to make sure that she had backup.

But I was very disappointed. I was looking forward to running around with them at the museum and doing the raptor dancing. It’s the first major event at his school that I missed. Troy has been talking for weeks about all the things we were going to do together, and I missed them all. Oh well, he had a good time. It was my mom’s first time at the Perot Museum, and she’s been asking to go for a while now. So, she was in hog heaven at the opportunity, although I’m sure she wished I would have been there to enjoy it with her. She and my wife were nice enough to send me pictures throughout the day, so I couldn’t be “apart” of it.

But since we were supposed to be taking Gauge home after school, I had to figure out a way to secure him into the car. His parents, along with most of the other parents in Troy’s class, had already made the switch from a car seat to a booster seat. I’ve been delaying making the switch for a while now, but Troy has been complaining about how tight the seat belt is. So, this gave me the last nudge I needed to make the move. I bought two new booster seats and figured out how to set them up in my wife’s car. That way, Troy and Gauge could ride in style.

RoughRiders

Gauge’s parents asked if they could pick up Troy tonight and take him with them to the Frisco RoughRiders baseball game. It was Troy’s and Gauge’s first baseball game, so it was a special treat. I found it interesting that my first reaction was that I wanted to go too. Not because I have a particular interest in the Frisco RoughRiders nor a particular interest in watching baseball. But because I wanted to be there to experience it with Troy. I want to experience everything with him, especially his firsts, and I was jealous that somebody else was getting to do it instead. But I let him go, because it’s not healthy for either of us to never be apart. One day, it will happen on a grander scale, and we need to start learning how to accept it.

But I wasn’t the only one feeling the separation anxiety. Troy missed us about halfway through the game, and he asked Gauge’s mom if he could call us. He was having a lot of fun, and I guess we’re the people he would normally tell, but when he turned to talk to us, we weren’t there. It was good to hear his voice, and I’m glad he had a good time.

The tickets they got were amazing. They were right behind the home team’s dugout in the first row. I’m not sure the kids watched too much of the baseball game, but they greatly enjoyed the antics of the mascots, who were dancing on top of the dugout. They even got a picture with one of them. And afterward, Gauge’s parents took them to the gift shop, where Troy bought…a Minecraft sword. Nothing related to baseball or a memory of the game. Oh well. He had fun, so that’s what’s important.

Ace!

Troy: “Dada?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Troy: “Do you think The Spot is funny?”
Me: “Sometimes, but he’s also a bad guy.”
Troy: “Well, I think he’s ace!”
Me: “That scene when he’s trying to steal the ATM is pretty funny. I like it when the food comes through his spot.”
Troy: “Oh my gosh, Spider-Man is inside Spot!”
Me: “Awkward!”

T-Rex the Spy

Me: “Good morning, bud.”
Troy [groggily crawling into my arms]: “Morning.”
Me [carrying him downstairs]: “So, did you have any dreams last night?”
Troy: “I don’t remember.”
Me: “Well, I had a dream about T-Rex, and he was a spy.”
Troy [snickering]: “A spy?”
Me: “Yeah, he was dressed up in a little black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He had dark sunglasses on, and he was coming around the corner, holding a gun in his tiny little arms. In another scene, he was jumping out of an airplane with a parachute and skydiving goggles, and his tiny little arms were flapping in the wind. Basically, it was a whole bunch of scenes of T-Rex trying to overcome his tiny little arms.”
Troy [laughing]: “That’s hilarious!”

Easter Band-Aids

Troy: “I can’t believe that every Easter egg is filled with money and candy!”
Me: “You’re lucky. One Easter, when I was your age, my Mimi put bandaids in my Easter eggs.”
Troy: “What?! Why?”
Me: “I really have no idea. I’m not sure if it was a last-minute thing, and that’s all she could find around the house, or if she just assumed I’d need them, because I got hurt a lot.”
Troy: “That’s weird.”
Me: “Agreed. Come to think about it, I don’t think she put bandaids in my brother’s or cousins’ eggs. Just in mine. You can imagine my excitement at finding that inside when I split them open…not!”
Troy [handing me a piece of chocolate]: “Here, dada. You need this more than I do. Your childhood sucked.”
Me: “Just that one Easter, but I’ll take the chocolate anyway. Thank you.”

Those People

Me: “What’s wrong, bud?”
Troy: “Mama made me change my shirt.”
Me: “Oh, what was wrong with it?”
Troy: “Nothing. She just made me change it.”
Me: “Well, maybe it’s because this one matched the blue fire in your pants better.”
Troy: “I don’t care if it matches.”
Me [picking him up in a hug]: “Some people go out of their way to match their clothes.”
Troy: “Well, I’m not like those people!”
Me [laughing]: “Fair enough. But mama is, so maybe you can just wear this shirt for her today, and you can wear the other one tomorrow.”
Troy: “I guess. You know, I really love you, dada.”
Me: “I love you too. Now, give me my hugs!”
Troy [jumping out my arms and making a run for it]: “No!”
Me [chasing him]: “I want my hugs!”
Troy [laughing]: “I’m not giving you a hug!”
Me: “Yes, you will! Now, stop running, so I can grab you!”

Taekwondo - Part 2

I ended up taking Troy to a different martial arts dojo today, Rodriguez Martial Arts, which is right next door to his Kumon lessons. I’ve been observing it for a while now, and it seemed very popular. In addition to Taekwondo, they also do Jiu Jitsu, which is cool if Troy decides he’d rather grapple instead.

I have to say that I was much more pleased with this experience. Not only were all of the instructors extremely nice, but they also explained and demonstrated why they were asking the kids to do certain exercises. They also spent more time working on blocks, punches, and kicks…which the other place barely touched on.

Troy also had fun, although he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be at the same place as Gauge. I tried to explain that he wouldn’t be in class with Gauge anyway, but that didn’t seem to register with him. I think he’ll be okay once he starts to get used to it and to feel more confident with the moves. And the best part…they demand respect in everything! When they ask the kids to do something, they require them to say “Yes, sir!” and “Yes, ma’am!” If they have to ask the kids to do something more than twice, then they make the kids do pushups for not listening. If the kids are late, then they have to ask permission to enter class. I love that part.

The cost of this dojo is month to month with no down payment, and it still comes out to exactly the same price as the other place’s annual rate. Plus, the uniform is included, which I had to buy at the other place. So, I’m even more convinced that the other place was just a ripoff.

But we did have a strange thing occur today. I had given Troy his Crocs to wear, so they’d be easier to get on and off. He put them in the little shoe cubby before class, and when he went to get them after class, they were gone. Some other kid had taken them. There was a smaller, very similar pair of Crocs there, so maybe it was an honest mistake. We waited to see if the “offender” would notice and bring them back, but they never did. So, we lost a pair of shoes on the first day!

UPDATE: I checked back in the following Monday and there was still no sign of the shoes. How could a parent not realize that their kid had the wrong shoes?! But to make matters worse, they apparently had come back and gotten the smaller pair too. So, now they have their own shoes AND Troy’s!

UPDATE UPDATE: The shoe thief was in Troy’s class today, and as soon as Troy saw the kid put his Crocs in the cubby, Troy ran over and grabbed them. He brought them to me to hold. I told him that they weren’t ours, that they just looked like ours. For one, they were too small for his feet. A mother sitting behind us heard this exchange and asked us if we’d lost a pair of Crocs. When I confirmed that we had, she told me that she had them. She had been wondering where the shoes had come from, and she promised to bring them to the next class. So, maybe we’ll recover the missing shoes after all!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: True to her word, the mother brought back our missing shoes. It’s been over a week in the making, but they finally found their way home again.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: You’re not going to believe this, but Troy’s shoes were stolen again! I have been consciously keeping the shoes with me at the chair instead of the cubby. But today, my wife had to take him to class, and she let him put them in the cubby. And someone took them again! My money is on the same kid, because there was still a pair of little blue Crocs with dinosaurs on them in the cubby when she left. So, now I get to hunt them down for a second time.