Trolling Dada

Troy and I like to race each other around the upstairs. He drives a green lawnmower that my brother got him, and I drive a zebra walker thing. The lawnmower makes a lot of noise, which Troy likes, and this is why it’s his “ride” of choice. The zebra goes faster and smoother, which is why I like it; and it’s also slightly taller than the lawnmower, which suits my height a little better.

Troy is adequately fast, especially in the straight-a-way through the game room into the media room. He goes full sprint, and it’s all I can do to keep up with him while bending over and pushing a toy zebra. Sometimes, he’ll take a turn a little too wide or catch a wheel on a door or corner, and I can overtake him. But I’ll generally let him catch up and beat me in the end.

One time, I took a corner too fast and lost my footing. I lost control of my zebra and went careening to the carpet. Troy found my humiliation hilarious for some reason. After he calmed his laughter a little bit, he ran over to pick up my zebra and set it back on its wheels. Then, he picked it up clear off the floor and dropped it on top of me, to add injury to insult...literally.

Ever since that day, Troy has taken it upon himself to troll me every chance he gets. Now, he will dramatically flip over his lawnmower and crash to the floor, laughing the entire time. Then, he’ll pick himself up and do it again. He doesn’t even care if I zoom past him. He’d rather laugh at my expense!

Clotheslined

I was chasing Troy around the kitchen tonight after dinner. He was enjoying running away from me, and I was enjoying running after him. Unfortunately, he took one of the corners around the island a little too close, and he clocked his forehead on the corner of the support under the edge of the counter. He hit it so hard that it clotheslined him off his feet and onto his back. He has a small puncture wound on his head where the corner got him, and the whole area swelled to the size of a golf ball. It’s one of those crazy, freak accidents that seem to plague him. Maybe he’s more like me than I originally thought! Not a good thing...

The Sporadic Pandemic Vacation: Tyler State Park

My wife and I desperately need a vacation. We have taken zero PTO days this entire year, and the lack of time off is starting to finally get to us. Not to mention that life has been pretty stressful lately, and we’re both burned out. Troy is the only one loving his current routine, but when you lead a life of fun and adventure, there’s no need for a change!

Because we are still being overly cautious with the COVID pandemic this year, we are limited on where we can go and what we can do. Definitely no planes or airports, so that cuts it down to within driving distance. Which normally would still open up quite a few possibilities, but with a fruit fly baby, you either limit your drive to no more than a couple of hours, or you take frequent stops along the way.

As we started to review some options, we quickly discovered that just because we want to go there doesn’t mean the place is open or fully accessible. Apparently, many state parks are limiting capacity and shutting down key attractions. Which means that taking two weeks in a single place is useless, because there won’t be enough to do. Thus evolved our plan...a series of day-trip vacations spread across multiple weekends, instead of one big long trip. Not exactly ideal, but an acceptable compromise in the current situation.

Today was our first round, and we decided to go to Tyler State Park. After a slow start, we hit the road for the slightly over two-hour drive. Troy and I snacked and played in the backseat for the first half of the trip, and we napped for the second half, while my wife tried her best to prove the GPS’ estimates wrong and shave time off our trip...otherwise known as testing the performance limits of her car.

We had to buy passes online ahead of time, so getting in was smooth and painless. The park was surprisingly full of people. Every single campsite was full, and the lake, where we chose to focus our attentions, was also teaming with people. But there was plenty of space for everyone, so we found a table near the pavilion and unpacked the bounteous picnic that my wife had painstakingly spent all morning putting together (now you know why we had a slow start).

The park was quite pretty, lots of woods and some very large, very old pine trees. Troy enjoyed watching the peddle boats, canoes, and kayaks gliding across the clear water as he munched on banana, chocolate croissant, and egg (the boy has strange tastes). He was itching to get out of the stroller and explore. We barely had time to scarf down a sandwich and chips before setting him free and chasing him around the pavilion. He of course headed straight for the water...little fish that he is.

Taking it as a sign, we took the food back to the car and went to rent a peddle boat. I, like Troy, have never been on a peddle boat before, so it was an exciting new experience. We put Troy between us as we pulled away from the dock. He immediately assumed that this meant he was in charge of steering, since the little rudder handle was in the middle at his feet. Luckily, he quickly lost interest, and he let me take over.

There is an art to peddle-boating I found. Let’s just say there are peddles on both sides of the boat for a reason, and if one person stops peddling, then the other person has to peddle for two. Which I found out firsthand when my wife got a cramp five minutes into the ride and had to take a break. Fortunately for me, all those late-night stair climbs with Troy perfectly prepared my thighs for that feat!

We toured around the lake, checking out all the little alcoves and inlets. The sun was brutal, but there was a wonderful breeze sweeping across the surface of the lake which cooled everything down. We all enjoyed it, even if we only used half of our time because Troy was getting antsy.

After our boat ride, my wife wanted to go swimming to cool off. So, she took Troy down to a secluded spot in the lake while I hiked the two-mile trail around the outside of it. It was good to stretch my legs and disappear into the shade of the trees for a little bit. I love to hike, and they love to swim, so it was a win-win for everyone.

We decided that it was getting late, so we packed up the car and headed home. Which is when the next stage of our adventure began. For some reason, there were dozens of Kias on the road, and all of them were the worst drivers; swerving out of their lane, texting and driving, cutting people off, driving slowly next to people while in the fast lane. It was both obnoxious and dangerous. At several points, my wife hit triple digits just to get by them. It was strange, but we finally made it home safely. Troy was well past ready to be home and have some food. Not bad for a first outing.

Ticklish

Through a careful process of experimentation and elimination, I have identified all of Troy’s ticklish spots. They are the back of his neck, his ears, his stomach, his sides, his inner thighs, the backs of his knees, and the bottoms of his feet. So, pretty much his entire body! Although, it’s also possible that some of this has to do with me kissing him and my mustache hairs tickling his skin. Either way, he’s in serious trouble with his future spouse. She’ll definitely be able to manipulate him into doing what she wants!

The Bulldozer

Today, we got an incident report from the daycare. Apparently, Troy was running full speed on the playground and collided into a little girl. When the teacher called to tell us, she couldn’t stop laughing. She said that Troy bulldozed right over the little girl. The little girl had gone flying halfway across the playground, and Troy had gotten a bump on the head. I guess with his size and speed, he was carrying a lot of momentum. My boy’s a tank!

My immediate thoughts were imagining the scene play out like an Earl Campbell highlight reel. Seeing Troy plow through a defender that is desperately trying to wrap up his disproportionately-large thighs or clinging to his jersey as he's hauled down the field. Luckily, the little girl ended up fine, which amazingly and hilariously was the first question that my wife and I both asked. I guess we just assume that Troy would be okay.

Falling

My wife had her women's Bible study tonight, which meant that Troy and I got to hang out and play together like we used to...just the boys.  And we had a blast!  We were chasing each other around, wrestling on the floor, laughing uncontrollably, and enjoying our time together.  At one point, Troy was throwing balls from his ball pit in various directions, while I scampered back and forth across the room, grabbing them and firing them back to him like an MLB shortstop.  A couple of them were just out of reach, so I had to dive to snag them.  Troy thought this was the funniest thing and would dissolve into a fit of laughing every time.  

Eventually, he just started throwing himself down on the floor, getting back up, and then throwing himself back down again.  Over and over he did this, I guess trying to mimic me falling to the floor.  And every time, he'd make himself laugh, which made me laugh right along with him.  The funniest part was the "careful" way in which he fell, going first to his diapered butt and then slowly lowering his head down behind him.

Hiccup

One of Troy's favorite movies is How to Train Your Dragon.  One of the scenes that we play a lot is when Hiccup takes Toothless a fish for the first time.  At the end of it, Hiccup is drawing in the dirt, waiting for Toothless to give him a chance, and Toothless comes over and watches what he's doing.  After a minute, Toothless disappears and comes back with a tree sapling clenched in his teeth that he's pulled up out of the ground, and proceeds to use it to draw in the dirt in a random, squiggly pattern all around Hiccup.  When Hiccup realizes what the dragon has done, he gets up to try to get to the outside edge of the drawing, but to do so, he must step over the lines.  You see him twisting and turning, stepping over and in-between the lines like a dance.

Whenever Troy watches this scene, he waits for this part in the video, and he mimics Hiccups movements...twisting and turning, stepping over and in-between imaginary lines on the floor.  It's like he's memorized the entire movement, and he executes it perfectly with Hiccup on the screen behind him doing the same.  It's like watching synchronized dragon dancing!

Precision Engineering

My wife bought a growth chart to hang on the wall, so we could track Troy’s height. I guess she got tired of me making marks directly on the wall. I finally got around to hanging it up today, which proved more difficult than it sounds.

The chart doesn’t start measuring until six inches, which wouldn’t be so bad, except the chart also stops three and a quarter inches above the floor. The top of the measurement goes to six feet, but the chart goes on another four and a quarter inches above that. Add in the extra height for the bracket, and the offset from the monkey hook, and you have a disaster of numbers to calculate.

When all was said and done, the tick marks on the chart matched up to the exact measurements of the tape measure.  I mean spot-on, as in not even a millimeter off.  I was so proud of my precision engineering that I had to brag about it.  I had hung this thing up perfectly on the first...er, second...um, third try.

Toast

Troy was hungry this afternoon, so I gave him a piece of toast left over from breakfast. He ate most of it, but when he’d had enough, he threw the last few bites on the floor in the bathroom and walked away. Having had enough myself, of his disrespect and disregard for our house and expecting me to always clean up after him, I told him to get back in there and pick up the toast. If he didn’t want it, then he could throw it into the trash.

He stood there looking between the toast and at me, but not making a move. After a couple minutes of me explaining what I wanted and him clearly not understanding (or not caring), I took his hand, walked him to the toast, reached down grabbed the toast with his hand, walked him to the trash can, and dropped it. We did this for all three pieces in the bathroom.

As I left the bathroom, I found another piece in our bedroom. So, I called to him, told him to come get this toast and put it into the trash. And miraculously, he ran to me, grabbed the toast, took it to the trash can, and dropped it in. I was so shocked that he picked it up that quickly. And could replicate it simply by me telling him what I wanted. I guess all he needed was for me to teach him. Now, we need to work on him cleaning up his toys in the den each night!

Death of the Pool

We killed the pool today. Really we just drained it, cleaned it, and put it away. My wife decided that it was too much work to keep up, and with the weather getting much cooler, she didn’t see any more swimming in our future for this year.

We’ll have to find some other outdoor activity to entertain Troy now. Maybe I can get him to help me lay sod down on the big dirt spot that used to be the pool. Or help me prepare the side yard for the garden I want to set up in the Spring.  Honestly, I imagine that he'll play in the dirt more than be any actual help, but it's really about spending time together an enjoying the nice weather while we can.

Little Duck

Troy has officially said his first Greek word...sort of. We were eating breakfast, and he kept looking at the plants and saying, “baba...ki.” For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what he was trying to say, but it definitely sounded Greek. It was my wife that realized what he was doing.

He saw a dried gourd on our window sill that was shaped like a duck (I honestly think more like a swan or goose with its long neck, but close enough). So, he was attempting to say “papaki,” which means little duck. 

The cutest part was the little pause he put in between the “baba” and the “ki.” I think the “k” sound gives him a little trouble, so the pause shows him really focusing on getting it right before saying it. The more he said it and the more confidence he got, the shorter the length of the pause.

I also think it’s adorable and just like Troy not to start with an easier word, like “papia,” which is just plain duck. Go big or go home!

The Armrest

Troy is so bold and adventurous. He likes to push the limits of his body and his environment. About the only thing that slows him down...at least for a short time anyway...is going too far and getting hurt. When he’s running around on the couch, he’s been sitting or standing on the armrest. This freaks me out because I know he’s going to slip and fall one day. In his exuberance, he’s not careful. So, I constantly find myself chasing him off the armrest and scolding him. He laughs at me, thinking it’s a game. No matter how stern I am, he doesn’t listen, and I’ll find him up there again.

Well today, it finally happened. He was running around on the couch, and I was trying to clean up the mess of toys everywhere, and off the armrest he went...straight on his head! My wife saw the whole thing in slow motion, but was too far away to stop it.  Luckily, it does not appear that he did any serious damage, mostly just scared himself.  But now I'm doubly freaked out about him being on the armrest!

Worst...Criminal...Ever!

I was making chocolate croissants for breakfast this morning, and I thought I’d share a secret father-son moment with Troy. So, I gave him a chocolate chip as a treat. He took it, went away, and ate it. Then, he came back for another one. I looked down to see chocolate smeared all over his face and hands. His mother was in the other room, so I figured we were safe. I told him not to tell his mother, and I'd clean him up after I finished making breakfast. And what does he proceed to do?! He goes running straight to his mother! I yelled that you don’t take the evidence of your guilt to the prosecutor. He’s the worst criminal ever!

Tap Out!

Troy and I like to wrestle. It’s what boys do. We get quite aggressive and physical. And it’s not uncommon for me to end up on the floor with Troy on top of me. Usually, he’ll sprawl out to make sure I can’t move. Or he’ll lay across my face and chest to keep me from breathing. In those moments, with my last gasping breath, I’ll say, “Have you had enough? Then tap out...please tap out...tap...”

As I black out, I can hear my son laughing and my wife saying, “Dada down. We have a dada down.”

Playa

The daycare sent us a picture today of Troy standing next to a little girl in his class. Even though they’re the same age, Troy towers over this little girl. She only comes up to his chin. But he’s also just bigger and more solid than her. She looks like a toothpick next to a tree.

What’s also funny about the picture is the pose. Troy is standing suggestively next to her, and my wife and I immediately started laughing that he was making a “move” on this innocent little girl. It led us to caption the photo.

“How you doin?” “Eh, I think I have a poopy diaper. You?”

“Do you come here often?” “Yes, every day, you ask me that...every...day.”

“Of all the daycares in all the world, and you had to walk into mine.” “Yours? Uh, I’m pretty sure I was here first.”

“You’re the most beautiful girl here today.” “I’m the only girl here today.”

Gentle Giant

Troy’s teacher said he’s assertive, and that he’ll take toys from other kids if he wants them. He’s not mean, he just knows what he wants and goes after it. We have to make sure he doesn’t turn into a bully. We love that he’s big, but he needs to be a gentle giant, using his size to protect others and not hurt and intimidate them.

The Possum Game

Every morning, I have to wake Troy up to get ready for daycare. I try to let him sleep as long as possible while I prepare his snacks and breakfast, but this still means I have to get him up by 6:30 a.m. I will just say that our son is not a morning person, especially if the sun is not up yet.

I will usually rub his back and run my fingers through his hair, so I don’t startle him. He will usually moan and then burrow down under his blanket to entrench himself. I’ll pull the blanket back to expose him and then I’ll start kissing on him...first his head, then his back and sides, which tickles. He tries not to react, but I’ll see a hint of a smile on his lips, and I’ll kiss him more aggressively, tickling him with my nose and lips, until he starts flipping back and forth to get away from me.

But even then, his eyes still aren’t open. He’s still pretending to be asleep. I call it his possum. But he’s given himself away, and I know I’ve got him. So, I’ll start talking to him. “Baaaaabyyy...” And eventually, he can’t help himself, and he’ll start talking back. I’ll let him sit in his crib to wake up, stretch, yawn, and accept the inevitable; and I’ll go pick out his outfit for the day. By the time I’m done, he’s ready for breakfast. It’s a struggle, but it’s fun. And it reminds me of doing the same thing to my father on vacations.

Nope, Not Going to Happen

We’ve still been having a hard time getting Troy to eat “adult” food. We’ve tried with all kinds of foods with the same result, He’ll pick at a little, and then he seems to get bored of it. Or he’s distracted by other things. We’re not really sure, but either way, he’ll stop eating after a few skimpy bites.

We noticed that Troy will eat more “adult” food if we place the food in front of him and then ignore him. If watch him or engage him in any way; then he will just play with it, throw it on the floor, or complain and try to get out of the chair. Yesterday, we put him at the table with his food first. While we were still getting our food together, we glanced over to see him happily eating his food. Today, we sat with him, but ignored him. He again was eating away. But as soon as we looked at him or talked to him, he stopped and threw the food on the floor.

Fossil Rim

Today, we took Troy to the fossil rim animal preserve. It’s a drive-through park where the animals will just walk up to the car while you feed them. We caravanned with CC, JC, and Declan. Troy loved seeing the animals from his books and animal TV shows coming to life before his eyes.

The park was mostly fallow deer and oryx. But there were also emu, wildebeest, zebras, and giraffes at various places as well. My wife and I fed the giraffe, her big black tongue winding around our fingers to grab the food. Troy was too chicken to try it. I guess a twelve-foot giraffe can be a little intimidating to a three-foot tall baby. But as intimidating as the giraffe was, he showed no fear with the oryx with horns as tall as he was. Nor did Troy flinch when a zebra walked right up to the window and licked his outstretched hand. He merely stuck it out there again.

Sadly, Declan didn’t seem to care much for the animals, but they also didn’t have the windows down for him. The only time that Troy was unhappy was when we tried to pull him back inside the car. He loved hanging out of the window and seeing animals within touching distance, sometimes dangerously close. All in all, it was a nice change of pace. It was nice to get out of the house and give Troy something different to see and experience. Next time, we’ll need to do a zoo, so he can see lions, and tigers, and bears...oh my! And of course the elephants.

Sesquipedalian - Part 2

Troy continues to add new words and sounds to his repertoire.  He appears to be picking them up more quickly now, sometimes imitating them right after I do the sound or say the word.  And with other words, I have been working with him for months, and then all of a sudden, he's doing the sound or saying the word.  It's fascinating to watch his mind work.

So, here's a rundown of the latest words, and yes, we've branched out beyond animals.

He can now recognize and imitate an elephant.  He does this by wrapping his left arm around his neck, like a scarf, and trumpeting a high "ggggrrrr" sound (hard to describe, but sounds exactly like an elephant trumpet).  The arm is supposed to represent the elephant's trunk, which comes from me waving my arm around in front of my face when I was trying to teach him.  So, we have not only the sound but the accompanying hand...er, arm gesture as well.

Keeping with the theme of gestures, he now makes a airplane engine noise every time he sees an airplane in the sky.  He also moves his hand around in front of him to imitate the plane flying around.  Again, this comes from me doing this with him when I was trying to associate the Greek word with the same object in the sky.  So, he put two and two together, and we now have a waving hand for an airplane.

He can clearly say "wheel" when he sees one, and he's able to discern that wheels come in all shapes in sizes, pointing to them on cars, toys, his stroller, and golf carts.

He will say "bow" for "boat."  He yells it out enthusiastically whenever he sees one during our walks.

He will say "na-na" for "banana."  And on a funny side note, he must be part monkey, because he will attempt to eat the entire banana, peel and all!

And his most recent and favorite noise to make next to a car "vroom, vroom" sound is a crow caw.  He associates this noise to every bird, but really gets enthusiastic when he sees an actual crow.  It's a perfect imitation of a crow, complete with a gurgly trilling in his throat while doing the "caw, caw."

Nigh-Nigh

The last few nights, Troy has decided that he’s no longer going to wait for us to put him to bed. He’ll walk into the bedroom and stand next to his crib or grab his pillow out of his bed, bring it into the den, and sprawl out on the floor. He’s so tired from us getting him up early in the morning that he’s decided when he’s tired and when he’s had enough. Sometimes, it’s even early like 8:30 pm or so. He has no concept of the time. When it’s time for “nigh-nigh,” it’s time for “nigh-nigh.”