Trick or...Hi!

We took Troy out for trick-or-treating tonight for the first time. Last year, we had strolled around and looked at decorations, but this year, we dressed him up and walked the neighborhood, seeking candy.

Troy was wearing the same Spin Spider-Man costume that he’d worn to the daycare party on Friday. And I wore my Spider-Man t-shirt and blue jeans to match. My wife went sans costume.

Most people had set up tables and chairs outside to greet the kids, some set up unguarded bowls of candy. Instead of greeting everyone with the traditional, “trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat,” Troy went with the unorthodox, “Hi!” and a hand wave. I guess he really is the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

But it worked nonetheless. Everyone thought he was adorable, and since my wife kept telling them that it was his first Halloween, he almost always got double handouts too! In the instances that he got to grab his own candy, he would very carefully take a single piece from the bowl and stuff it into his little pumpkin. But the best part was that he politely told everyone, “Thank you” before walking off.

In all honesty, Troy didn’t care so much about the candy. He was more enamored with the Halloween decorations in everyone’s yards. This one yard in particular had a giant blow-up spider with a head that moved from side to side. Even though Troy was terrified of it, he was also strangely drawn to it. He made us go by that yard four times to see the spider, but he’d never get closer than the sidewalk and never without one of us standing right beside him.

At one of the last houses we stopped at, the owners had gone all out in the decorations. They’d set up a full cemetery in the front yard with ghouls and zombies climbing out of the ground. They had a smoke machine, spiders, spider webs, and skeletons hanging from the trees. Just as we walked up, someone came out of the house and told us to go ring the bell for candy. At first, my wife didn’t want to go, because Troy had so much candy in his pumpkin that he had to drag it behind him. (It should be noted at this point, that both of us offered to carry it for him, but he kept telling us, “No! It’s my candy!”) But our curious Troy wanted to see what decorations they had near the door, so away he went to explore.

As soon as he got on the porch, a small fuzzy black spider leapt from its hiding place right at Troy. Troy jumped three feet into the air and was down the driveway so fast that my wife didn’t even see where he went. Then, he was holding onto my pant leg and yelling at my wife, who was still too close to the door, “Come back, mama! The spider’s going to get you! Come back, mama! The little spider scared me.” After she was back in the safety of the herd, Troy was more than ready to move on.

Since he didn’t really care about the candy, we dumped his pumpkin into our bowl and redistributed it to the rest of the trick-or-treaters. All in all, I think he had a really good time.

Tattle Tell

We had an adventure this morning as a family, which required a lot of walking and digging in the dirt. Troy’s clothes were filthy. So, while I was in the kitchen making lunch, my wife was trying to change Troy’s clothes before he got the dirt everywhere. Troy for his part was having an epic dinosaur battle on the couch at the same time. She stripped the dirty shirt off of him and went to get a clean one.

All of a sudden, my naked baby says, “Dada, mama took off with my shirt.”

“She did?!” I replied. “Well, I’m sure she’ll bring another one back.”

A few seconds later my wife came walking back in the room and asked, “Did he just tattle on me?”

“Yep! He completely sold you out,” I said.

Anniversary - Pirate Treasure Edition

For our 18th wedding anniversary, I decided to create a pirate treasure hunt for my wife. I wanted her to take an adventure with me and my son…to get away from the stresses of life and explore places she’s never been before. So, my son and I plotted out six parks in the area that were beautiful and unique.

In each one, I identified a hiding spot and buried a clue. The clue was a photograph with GPS coordinates on the back of it. Each set of GPS coordinates would lead her to a new park and the photograph would lead her to the precise location of the next clue.

Today, I presented her with a card that contained the first clue. So, we packed up the car and headed to the first stop. When we got out of the car, I handed her a shovel and said, “You’re going to need this.”

My wife replied, “Are you kidding me?!”

“What’s a pirate treasure hunt without buried treasure?” I laughed.

Off we went down a path toward the lake. As we got closer, my wife got really excited. “Oh my gosh, that’s the tree from the picture right there! Now what?”

“Now, you find the treasure.”

“Okay, baby,” she told my son. “Help mama find a clue to where the treasure is buried.”

After a few minutes of exploring, she located a rock, half buried in the dirt, that had a pirate skull emblazoned across it. She excitedly began to dig and found a rolled up photograph rubber banded inside a plastic baggie. Finding another set of coordinates on the back, she punched them into her phone. We hustled back to the car and headed off to another clue. This one buried under a bridge that arched over a little creek. Which led to a clue stuffed into the cracks of a stone wall in another park. Which led to a clue buried in between the “knees” of a cypress tree next to a duck pond. Which led to a clue buried next to a fallen tree in another park. Which led to a clue buried next to a boulder near another duck pond. In each place, we explored the parks and chased our son around. We spent time as a family, enjoying the weather and having fun.

The final clue led us back home to our own front flower bed. There, buried under the silver dollar bush, my wife finally unearthed a small black chest. When she opened it, she found it was filled with gold and silver coins! They were in reality chocolate wrapped coins…which my son found more of a treasure than some worthless gold or silver piece of metal. But the true treasure was a pair of ruby earrings that my wife loved.

She would tell me later that she was blown away by the amount of time and thought I had put into this. I told her the coolest part was that the path she’d driven actually plotted out to exactly 18 miles to commemorate our anniversary. She had a lot of fun and was able to put aside her cares and troubles for a day, which was the most important part for me.

Spin

Troy's daycare was having a day of Halloween fun today, and they encouraged the kids to dress up in costumes. So, when we were trying to decide on what Troy would go as, there seemed like only one logical choice...Spider-Man. But not just any Spider-Man, it had to be "Spin," the secret identity of Miles Morales from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Why did it have to be Spin? Well, because his favorite song is "Sunflower" by Post Malone & Swae Lee, and he makes us watch it on repeat on a daily basis. The video he most enjoys is the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse version, so he's obsessed with the costume that Miles wears in the video. Which is a black suit with a red, spray-painted spider symbol on the front and back (you'd have to watch the movie to understand).

So when my wife began her Google search for a costume, that is what I tasked her to find. And she came through in a phenomenal way! I'm not sure if he's going to be one of those kids that wants to wear his spider suit every day, but he's certainly intimidating with all of those bulging muscles!

Ghost

Anastasia got this pretty scary witch decoration for her lab, but Troy immediately confiscated it. He had no fear of the dark, twisted, skeletal thing. Now, she’s his best friend. He calls her “Ghost.” He takes her everywhere with him. He plays games with her, shows her his books and puzzles, sings to her, and tells her about his day.

This morning, I caught the two of them eating breakfast together and watching cartoons. Troy had the witch sitting in the chair next to him while he was happily munching away on a chocolate croissant. Every once in a while, he’d turn to her and ask her if she saw something on the TV. She stared in silence with her unblinking button eyes. But Troy didn’t seem to mind. Maybe he just thought she was concentrating, stuck in the tractor beam like he usually is.

Twosies

We have officially phased out all of the onesies from Troy’s wardrobe. He finally got to a height where it was a very tight stretch to secure them over his long frame. We tried for a while, even using extenders to prolong the inevitable, but it was finally time. We hung on so long, especially when he was sleeping, because our mischievous son regularly enjoyed taking his own diaper off. And we were afraid he was going to wet himself in the night. But he’s been better about leaving his diaper alone, so we’ve officially switched to t-shirts and shorts. We even got him some pajamas that he only wears to sleep. They have dinosaurs on them…of course.

Karma Chameleon

Troy can drag out a meal for an interminably long time. He takes these minuscule mouse nibbles of his food. Technically, he is eating, so he’s fulfilled the requirements I have for him to continue watching TV. But he is still dragging on long after his mother and I have finished. There have been nights that my wife has actually gone to bed and left the two of us at the table. I always sit there and keep him company, but some nights it’s harder than others. I almost think that he believes that if he finishes, then I’ll turn the TV off, so he drags out the experience to prolong the privilege. Some of his recent meals have taken over two and a half hours to complete!

As bad as it is, he’s not anywhere close to my record. I once sat at the table for six hours because I refused to eat the pork chop and peas that my mother had put in my plate. The rule was that I couldn’t leave the table until I’d eaten my food, so I sat there in a sort of Mexican Food Standoff. Both my mother and myself refusing to budge. Everyone else had long finished and moved on to some fun activity, and I was still there, staring at the food that had long grown cold. Frustrated beyond belief, my mother finally picked up my plate and told me to go. I went to bed hungry that night, but I won the stubborn war with my mother.

Now, karma or fate has seen fit to punish my youthful willfulness with a child exactly like me. So, here I sit (or more half reclined) at the table, waiting for Troy to take the 187th bite to finally finish that one chicken nugget.

Spiny

I walked by the back door today, and I saw the big mamma jamma lizard laying on the back porch getting some sun. I call him this because he’s the size of a carrot. He’s also different from your typical garden-variety lizard. He looks like a slender horny toad, with spiky scales that are gray, black, and white. We have at least two of these lizards living on our back porch, because there’s a smaller version, which I assume is the female.

I called Troy to come look at him, because like me, he’s enamored with nature. As we stared at him through the glass door, Troy said, “I love this lizard! He looks like a dragon. I want to hold him.” I tried to explain that we couldn’t hold him because he was scared of us. To him, we looked like monsters. To which Troy replied, “I’m not a monster.” I laughed. “I know that, Baby, but he doesn’t.”

Feeling like the lizard deserved better than to be called “the big mamma jamma lizard” all the time, I decided to see if I could find out what kind of lizard he was. I was rewarded to find out that he’s a Texas Spiny Lizard. His coloring is camouflage to help him blend in to the bark of trees, which he’s fond of climbing. And apparently males also have two blue stripes down the sides of their bellies. They are also generally shy and nervous, choosing to avoid contact whenever possible. But the most interesting fact we read was that when one male is confronted by another, they don’t fight. Instead, they engage in a push-up challenge, where one lizard is declared the winner when the other one can no longer do a push-up!

Troy didn’t care about any of this. He just wanted to touch the lizard. He’s a very hands-on experience kind of guy. And then I realized that the lizard was staring straight at us through the glass. I got this eerie feeling of being the “monster” on display in the cage, rather than the other way around. With our faces pressed up against the glass, we probably looked like caged animals too. Realizing that I was never going to open the door, Troy wandered off to see something else. After a few more seconds of looking at the hideous beast inside the house, the lizard also wandered off to catch an unsuspecting bug in the grass.

Unfavored

Over the past two weeks, Troy has not really asked for his “favor” (what he calls his pacifier) when going to bed. This includes both at night and for naps on weekends. I had read somewhere that some kids will take longer than others to finally give up their pacifier. I had also read that usually a kid will just decide one day that they’re done.

We had employed the “don’t give it to him unless he explicitly asks for it” method, which helped to slowly wean him off it. But to truly make this method successful, we had to distract Troy when we were putting him to bed. If he didn’t see or think about the pacifier, then he was less likely to ask for it.

Of course there’s a downside to him giving up the pacifier. It takes him a lot longer to finally go to sleep, especially at night. Most nights he’ll be up a half hour to an hour after we put him to bed singing. You can hear his clear, beautiful voice resonating throughout the house as he contentedly entertains himself with song. My wife said he’s a night owl like we are. Maybe. But either way, singing is a much better alternative to the pacifier.

Burping Crocodiles

Troy was taking his bath after he got home from the daycare tonight. He’d asked me for his crocodile, so I got it for him and headed back into the kitchen to finish the dishes. All of a sudden, I heard a deep “Uuuuuhhhhh” come from the bathroom, followed by Troy saying, “Excuse you, crocodile.” So, I went to investigate, and found my son dunking the crocodile’s head under the water. Whenever Troy would bring the crocodile back up again, he’d mouth the same deep “Uuuuuhhhhh” sound and then excuse the crocodile for his apparent rudeness. So, I asked him if the crocodile was burping. To which Troy lost himself in a fit of laughter, somehow managing to reply “Yeah!” Apparently, a laughing baby only makes crocodiles burp more frequently…who knew?!

All-Terrain

We decided to take Troy to a new playground today to spend time as a family to celebrate my wife’s and my anniversary. Off to one side of the park was a little trail that disappeared into the woods. Being the curious and adventurous souls that we are, Troy and I decided to explore it. The short trail wound through the woods and came out on a wide paved path that headed off deeper into the woods. Imagining amazing things waiting at the other end, Troy and I took off running down the path to see where it would go. My wife in it more for enjoying the weather and scenery came casually walking behind.

The path ultimately looped back around to the park, letting out near a pond and fountain. As Troy occupied himself with jumping off a small boulder and pretending to fly, my wife said, “I guess Troy likes to hike and spend time in the woods.” I said, “Yep, he’s definitely my son.” She replied, “But he also likes to be in the water, so he’s definitely my son.” Which led us to conclude that Troy is adaptable to every environment. He’s all-terrain Troy, like those shoes you can wear for every activity.

Pavlov's Troy

We are still having issues getting Troy to eat a respectable quantity of food. He’ll pick at things like cheese, but won’t really eat the things of substance on his plate. It continues to irk us both, so over the past week, I have decided to try an experiment on my son.

Whenever we were eating, and he’d stop, I’d pause the TV. He’d start complaining, asking what happened, and I’d tell him to eat a piece of food. He’d stick something in his mouth, and I’d unpause the TV. We did this over and over for several meals. Then, I changed my tactic. I’d pause the TV, but instead of saying something, I’d just nod at his plate. He’d pick up something, take a bite, and I’d unpause the TV. We did this over and over for several meals. Then, something interesting happened. He’d stop eating, I’d pause the TV; but then without any other stimulus, Troy would automatically reach down, grab something, and take a bite.

The first time my wife saw all of this transpire, she stopped, mouth hanging open in astonishment. She watched him eat all three pieces of chicken on his plate, as well as an entire piece of pizza, and a cup full of milk. At a loss for an explanation, she asked, “What just happened?” I told her that I used classical conditioning to get Troy to eat, like Pavlov and his dogs. She looked at me and said, “I can’t believe you brainwashed our child. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, but I can’t believe you did that.”

Now, I just have to get him to eat out of fear that the TV might be paused, so I don’t actually have to do it! Maybe start with having him see me merely pick up the controller, and then work toward not doing anything at all. I knew my Psychology minor would come in handy one day.

The Puzzle Master

Troy went with my wife to the store a few days ago, and while he was there, he just happened to find a wooden box of dinosaur puzzles. The box contained four 12-piece puzzles, each of a different dinosaur. And the moment he came in through the door, he couldn’t wait to show them to me. My wife took Troy’s clothes off, but instead of heading in for a bath, my buck naked son ran into the den and started pouring puzzles out onto his little table!

We have been putting those puzzles together every night since. At first, he wanted me to do it for him. Then, he wanted to be involved with me helping occasionally when he got stuck. Now, he will actually sit down and put the puzzles together by himself. When he completes one, he's so ecstatic, getting our attention to make sure that we see and acknowledge it before he puts it back into the box.

Swiping Dinosaurs

Tonight, I took control of the TV, having had an exhausting day and wanting to watch something other than kids television. So, I decided to put on The Big Bang Theory, knowing that Troy had no interest in it. As expected, he fussed for a little bit, then asked me if he could look at the dinosaurs on my phone. I told him that he'd need to go get my phone first, which was over on the island. So, he popped up, went and got it, and brought it back to me. I opened the Jurassic World app, and handed him the phone.

While my wife and I enjoyed our TV show, Troy contentedly perused the dinosaurs, swiping through the list, finding one he wanted to see, and then clicking the picture. For over an hour, he happily twisted, turned, and vocalized dozens of dinosaurs. He watched movie snippets of the dinosaurs fighting. And he found cartoon videos created just for the app (I still don't know where he found these). It was cute to watch his dramatic, exaggerated motion as he swiped through the dinosaurs. At some point, my wife and I were more entertained watching him than watching the TV!

Dino Nerd

Troy is amazing when it comes to differentiating between different dinosaurs. We've been watching videos of the computer game Jurassic World: Evolution, which features 68 different dinosaurs from the franchise. By sight alone, he can tell the difference between a Brontosaurus, Brachiosaurus, Apotasaurus, and Diplodochus. To most people they’d probably all just look like long-necked, slow-moving, herbivores. But to Troy each one is unique...the position of the nostrils, spikes or no spikes on its back, the length and size of the neck, etc. But he can also differentiate between most of the other dinosaurs as well, calling out some that I'm unsure of until the I see the name on the screen. Not bad for a two-year old that can't read yet.

I'm Not

Lately, Troy has started to say, “I’m not...” to politely decline our requests for him to do something.

Dada: “Troy, come in here, so I can change your diaper.”

Troy: “I’m not changing my diaper.”

Dada: “I know. I’m changing it, so get in here so I can do it.”

Troy: “I’m not getting a new diaper.”

Dada: “That wasn’t a choice. You’re getting a new diaper, and then you’re going night-night.”

Troy: “I’m not going night-night. I’m watching dinosaurs.”

Dada: “No, you’re not watching dinosaurs, and yes, you are going night-night. I’m also going to brush your teeth, so get ready for that.”

Troy: “I’m not brushing my teeth.”

Dada: “You seem to think you have a choice in all this. This is not a democracy, it’s the monarchy of dada.”

Troy: “I’m not in a mon…mon…arch…ee.”

Dada: “That’s what you think, now get in here.”

Punk'd

I accidentally pranked my son today. I had brought one of those Smart Water bottles with me when I picked him up from the daycare. It had a small squirt top on it which requires you to squeeze the bottle to get the water out. Troy put his mouth on it and tried to suck, but nothing happened. So as he examined it to figure out why it was broken, I told him that he needed to squeeze the bottle. I demonstrated the motion he needed to make with his hand. But before I could stop him, he copied my hand motion, and water came flying out of the top of the bottle right into his face! I assumed he would put his mouth on the top first, but I guess I wasn’t explicit about that part.

Water dripping down his entire face, he started to cry. I dried him off and tried to tell him that it was an accident, but he wasn’t having it. I had gotten him wet, and he wasn’t happy about it.

Nuts!

My son is nuts. He loves pistachios, almonds, pecans, and peanuts. Finding this out was a complete accident, especially with the pecans. Troy and I were out walking, and I found a whole pecan on the ground. I cleaned it up, and offered him a bite. He gobbled it down and asked for more. So, after he devoured that pecan, I had to find some pecan trees to shake them down for more! I never knew he was so keen on nuts. Sometimes I wonder if he’s part squirrel.

Are You Ready?!

Tonight, Troy and my wife were upstairs keeping me company while I watched football. Having reached his limit of sitting still after two minutes, Troy decided to climb up on the couch and mess with me. So, I picked him up, lifted him in the air like we were doing a figure skating move, and then body slammed him into the pile of pillows on the couch. He bounced up, laughing with excitement, and came at me again. So, I once again lifted him up and body slammed him into the pillows. Over and over again, with Troy laughing the entire time. For some reason, he’d stretch his long legs out and brace his feet on my chest. Maybe that made him feel more stable, who knows.

After one of the takedowns, he extricated himself from the pillows, bounded across the couch, and said, “Are you ready?!” I couldn’t help but laugh. I asked him back, “Are YOU ready?” And he replied with a loud and enthusiastic, “Yeeeaaahhh!” So, I lifted him once more and slammed him down into the pillows.