Karma Chameleon

Troy can drag out a meal for an interminably long time. He takes these minuscule mouse nibbles of his food. Technically, he is eating, so he’s fulfilled the requirements I have for him to continue watching TV. But he is still dragging on long after his mother and I have finished. There have been nights that my wife has actually gone to bed and left the two of us at the table. I always sit there and keep him company, but some nights it’s harder than others. I almost think that he believes that if he finishes, then I’ll turn the TV off, so he drags out the experience to prolong the privilege. Some of his recent meals have taken over two and a half hours to complete!

As bad as it is, he’s not anywhere close to my record. I once sat at the table for six hours because I refused to eat the pork chop and peas that my mother had put in my plate. The rule was that I couldn’t leave the table until I’d eaten my food, so I sat there in a sort of Mexican Food Standoff. Both my mother and myself refusing to budge. Everyone else had long finished and moved on to some fun activity, and I was still there, staring at the food that had long grown cold. Frustrated beyond belief, my mother finally picked up my plate and told me to go. I went to bed hungry that night, but I won the stubborn war with my mother.

Now, karma or fate has seen fit to punish my youthful willfulness with a child exactly like me. So, here I sit (or more half reclined) at the table, waiting for Troy to take the 187th bite to finally finish that one chicken nugget.