Dodging Pigeons

Troy: “Oh! Dada, you almost hit those pigeons!”
Me: “Well, they shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of the parking lot.”
Troy: “Good thing they can fly.”
Me: “I guess. Hey, do you think if I’d hit them that I’d have been able to absorb their power and be able to fly?”
Troy: “No, but that would be cool.”
Me: “Did you know that many Native American tribes believed that they could absorb the powers of their enemies by eating their hearts? That includes animals too, like bears, bison, and wolves. So, by eating their hearts, they could absorb their strength, or endurance, or loyalty.”
Troy: “Wow, no I didn’t know that.”
Me: “What power do you think a pigeon would give us if we ate its heart?”
Troy: “I’m not sure.”
Me: “Probably the power to crap on everything. Coo, coo…splurt! Coo…splurt! And then mama would be walking around the house and start screaming, ‘Who has been crapping all over the house?!’ And we’d look her straight in the eyes…and splurt! We’d crap all over the floor!”
Troy [laughing]: “That’s hilarious!”

Father's Day 2026

Father’s Day turned out pretty well this year. My wife and son cooked me waffles for breakfast, and I got some cool gifts. Since I had recently gotten myself a punching bag to beat out my frustrations and stress, they bought me some new workout clothes. The shirts came bundled in a single package that read “Not to Be Separated,” so i decided that that meant that you had to wear all five shirts at the same time.

The getting them on wasn’t so bad, but the getting them off was a nightmare! At one point, one of the shirts got stuck on my nose. And as I tried to tug it loose, my face contorted into a look of pure agony. I looked like I was dying a painful death on the spot. At least that’s what it looked like in the picture that my mom was nice enough to take at the exact worst time in the process.

Fists of Fury

After watching Troy in martial arts for months now, I noticed that his punches and kicks are kind of weak. He sort of limply throws his appendages out there in a manner that in no way would do damage to an opponent nor even intimidate them. So, I decided to buy a punching bag. My thought is that if he had “feedback,” then maybe he’d learn to throw them stronger. It’ll be good for naturally building muscle too.

Troy donned his little punching gloves and went to town on the bag today. His skinny little arms were a blur as he pummeled the bag left and right. He was dancing around the room while the bag swung slowly back and forth, darting in and out to land a blow and then retreat in defense. He even threw in a few side kicks just to make sure that the bag knew who was boss. After ten minutes or so, Troy finally stopped, chest heaving, sweat poring down his face, and a grin from ear to ear. I guess we’ll see if the newness will wear off, or if this will turn out to be his new routine. It won’t be a total loss though, because I’m planning to use it between work meetings too. I could always use another way to get my aggression and stress out.

First Pedicure

Troy and my wife were invited by Gauge and his mom to go get pedicures today. Gauge apparently enjoys getting them, but it was Troy’s first time. When I asked him how it was, he told me that it was fine. I pressed further and asked him what his favorite part was, and he said the massaging chair. I was expecting him to say the warm water bath, or the hot wax, or even the leg massage. But nope, he enjoyed the chair!

Foot Dreams

Me: “Good morning, bud. How’d you sleep?”
Troy: “Good.”
Me: “Did you have any dreams?”
Troy: “None that I can remember.”
Me: “I had a dream that I stuck my foot in someone’s mouth.”
Troy [laughing]: “Why did you do that?”
Me: “I can’t remember. Maybe I wanted them to taste it. Maybe I was kicking them in the face and it got stuck. Maybe they were talking too much, and I wanted them to be quiet.”
Troy [laughing harder]: “Definitely the last one!”
Me: “That’s what I was thinking too.”

Belt Testing - Orange - Part 2

Well, I guess I’ve been worried for naught. Every single person that tested yesterday earned their next belt. Even the ones that clearly messed up. The belt presentation ceremony lasted an hour, because they did some nunchucks, sword, and bow staff demonstrations as well. Troy got his orange belt, which was a huge relief to go from them not even wanting to let him test this round to passing with flying colors. I guess now we get to start all over, learning a new form and new one step.

Belt Testing - Orange

The belt testing was utter chaos. There were about 25 kids from white belt to black all testing at the same time. The entire testing took over two hours to complete, which meant Troy and the other two white belts were expected to sit still for an hour and fifty minutes of that. It didn’t happen. They were playing, fidgeting, and talking. Having them sit still that long was like trying to stop the tide from coming into shore…an impossible task.

When they finally got up to do their forms, Troy completely forgot to yell on his sidekicks. He got so flustered by that that he froze in the middle of his form. Thankfully, he wasn’t the only one, so they let them all do it again. The second time, Troy absolutely nailed his form!

Then, they paired them up to do their one steps. And despite me telling him multiple times, Troy once again forgot to yell on every move. Once again, the judges saved him and let them all do it again. He once again was virtually flawless. And then, the interminable waiting began.

We were dazzled by a combat demonstration. We winced as black belt candidates were pummeled during three on one. We oohed and aahed as those same black belt candidates broke boards with their hands and feet. And through it all, the white belts fidgeted and played.

And when it was all over, we had no idea if Troy passed or not. We took some pictures, and then we were dismissed. We were told to come back tomorrow for the belt presentation ceremony. So, I guess we’ll find out then.

White Stripes - Part 2

Troy has been practicing his bum off every day for the last five days. Some days ended in tears or frustration, but he always came back the next day to try again. He has worked very hard, and I’ve started to see it pay off. His form is looking very good. His steps are cleaner and his motions are smoother.

Today was his final day to get stripes before the belt testing on Thursday. I’m not sure who was more nervous about it, him or me. I’d been agonizing over it all day, and my stomach was churning by the time we walked into the class. Then, the bottom fell out of it. The owner, Mr. Richie walked up to me, and he told me that the instructor for Troy’s class, Miss Pixie, didn’t feel like Troy was ready yet, and that he could use more time as a white belt. My heart sank. All that time and effort that Troy had been putting into practicing, and they weren’t even going to give him a chance! Troy was going to be devastated.

So, I did what any good dad would do, and I went to bat for him. I told Mr. Richie about how hard Troy had been working and about how we’d been practicing every day at home. I told him that Troy’s form was looking really good. And I asked him to at least give Troy a chance to prove it to them today. I surmised that it would devastate him if he had to watch everyone else progressing while he had to stay behind, especially after all the effort he’d been putting into it. Impressed that Troy had been practicing so hard at home, Mr. Richie agreed to talk to Miss Pixie about giving him a chance.

And then disaster struck. For some stupid reason that nobody could understand, Mr. Tyson decided to change up the stance on all of their kicks…two days before their belt testing. It was so awkward and confusing that everyone in the class was struggling to do it. Troy was completely off balance the entire time. And all I could think was that he was supposed to be making a good impression and showing what he could do, and what he was showing instead was that he couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter about anyone else, because they had all gotten their red stripe, which was the go-ahead to be able to test for their next belt. Troy was the one who needed a good class today, and this stupid new stance was screwing it up.

But thankfully, God and Mr. Richie took pity on Troy. Mr. Richie asked Miss Pixie to stay after class and work with Troy one-on-one to test him on the three tenets. Letting him be more in his comfort zone, without the awkward stance, Troy was able to show off his technique, his one-step, and his form. He was really trying to pay attention to each step, each foot and hand position, and even yelling at all of the right places. I was so incredibly proud of him. Miss Pixie was too. She eventually awarded him all three of his stripes. That meant that he still needed his red stripe to be cleared to test. So, Mr. Ritchie took him aside and ran through the form all over again. He gave Troy a few things to clean up, but determined that he had done a really good job. Before we left, Troy earned his red stripe too.

You should have seen him. He couldn’t stop smiling. He was so proud of himself. He couldn’t wait to call his mother and tell her all about it. I was so proud of him. Not just that he’d done it, but that he didn’t give up or quit. He worked hard and put in the effort. He really wanted it, and I’m so happy to see his hard work be rewarded. He really deserved it, and I couldn’t be happier for him.

White Stripes

So, next week, they are doing belt testing in Troy’s martial arts class. Troy’s been studying for two months now. And while he’s learned the moves, the steps, and the forms; he’s still undisciplined and underachieving. He has all of the ability in the world, but he has no inner motivation to make him try. It’s not like in the movies where someone is being bullied, and they start studying to defend themselves or to take the fight to their aggressors. Troy just has to want it on his own. But somehow in the gene soup, he missed the self-motivating gene that I have. So, he only gives it 25% effort, he doesn’t listen to instruction, and he refuses to pay his teachers respect or speak out when prompted.

There is a lead up to the belt testing the week before, where the teachers will test the students on the moves. They are looking for three things to prove that a student is ready to take the test. One, the student can demonstrate proper form when executing the moves. Two, the student can successfully perform the one-step at their level (a shorter series of moves in a specific order to counter an attack by an opponent). Three, the student can successfully perform the form at their level (a series of moves in a specific order). Troy has been able to do the last two quite well, but he’s still struggling a little with proper form.

While I don’t feel that it is egregiously bad, the instructors nonetheless refuse to give him a stripe for it. I feel like they’re holding him to a higher standard than everyone else for some reason. Because I’ve seen others get a stripe for a lot less clean attempt. Maybe it’s because of his effort level. Maybe it’s because he refuses to speak up when prompted. Whatever it is, they’re expecting perfection to move him on, and Troy is not motivated to achieve it. But the side effect of this decision is a no-win situation. Seeing everyone else in the class but himself get a stripe is demoralizing to Troy. Without the reward, he’s not likely to try harder. If they had given him a stripe for his form at his level and the one-step at his level, that might have motivated him to work on the proper form to get the third one. But they are rigid in the order that they will dole them out for some reason.

The other downside is that he only goes two nights a week. There’s a chance that the other kids are up there every night. Which means that they have a lot more chance to work on it with the instructors. So, I’m concerned that they’ll decide Troy’s not ready to test. Which not only means he’ll have to wait another two months to try again, but Troy will end up being the only white belt left in his class…which will demoralize him further, maybe to the point of quitting. So, I’m pushing him to practice with me at home. I’m not trying to live vicariously through him. I just want him to keep enjoying it and reaping the benefits of it. I don’t want him to quit on it or himself.

Why So Serious?

Troy has this weird tic now where he pushes the sides of his lips back with two fingers while opening his mouth as wide as he can. He does it dozens of times a day without even realizing that he’s doing it. The effect is that he irritates the skin around his mouth with the dirt and oil from his fingers, giving himself red streaks that eventually become sores. He ends up looking like the Joker from Batman.

My wife and I have taken to getting onto him every time that we see him do it in an effort to get him to be more consciously aware and stop. But I almost feel like he does it more just to be defiant. We aren’t even sure why he does it or how it got started. When I ask Troy why he’s doing it, he just says that it’s comfortable. My wife is worried about him reshaping his jawline, which there may be something to that, because he has started drooling all of the time now. Which just makes him touch his face more often to wipe the spit off. The only success we’ve had is with putting cream on his face and telling him it’s medicine. He won’t touch it then, and even if he tried, he feels the cream and stops. But we can’t be with him all day reapplying cream to his face.

Best Friends Forever

I was reflecting today that I met my best friend CC when I was 6 years old. We’re still friends 41 years later. He’s like my brother, and we’ve been through hell and back together. He was in my wedding. We both had sons around the same time. We’ve walked life together.

I find it interesting that Gauge and Troy also met when they were 6 years old and that they’ve become akin to best friends. Who knows what the future holds, but maybe they’ll also be friends 40 years from now! Wouldn’t that be something?!

And the best part is that they thoroughly enjoy being together all the time. In fact, they can’t wait to see each other again. They hang out at school and then at aftercare every day, but they still want to FaceTime every night and have play dates on the weekends. They have lots of common interests. They both love God. They act like brothers most of the time. Sure, they may wrestle and fight, but they make up and forgive each other too.

I never had a great relationship with my biological brother while growing up. He seemed more interested in torturing me and beating me up than being my friend. So, my relationship with CC was the best one that I had. We would have loved for Troy to have had a sibling, but it wasn’t in the cards. I’m glad that at least for now that he has Gauge to fill that void. And I’d love for them to stay best friends for the rest of their lives.