Dodging Pigeons

Troy: “Oh! Dada, you almost hit those pigeons!”
Me: “Well, they shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of the parking lot.”
Troy: “Good thing they can fly.”
Me: “I guess. Hey, do you think if I’d hit them that I’d have been able to absorb their power and be able to fly?”
Troy: “No, but that would be cool.”
Me: “Did you know that many Native American tribes believed that they could absorb the powers of their enemies by eating their hearts? That includes animals too, like bears, bison, and wolves. So, by eating their hearts, they could absorb their strength, or endurance, or loyalty.”
Troy: “Wow, no I didn’t know that.”
Me: “What power do you think a pigeon would give us if we ate its heart?”
Troy: “I’m not sure.”
Me: “Probably the power to crap on everything. Coo, coo…splurt! Coo…splurt! And then mama would be walking around the house and start screaming, ‘Who has been crapping all over the house?!’ And we’d look her straight in the eyes…and splurt! We’d crap all over the floor!”
Troy [laughing]: “That’s hilarious!”