Me: “Good morning, Troy. How’d you sleep?”
Troy: “Good. I had some weird dreams.”
Me: “Me too! I think it’s because we had chicken for dinner.”
Troy: “What?!”
Me: “Nothing, it’s just a weird theory I have about food affecting your dreams.”
Troy: “So, what did you dream about?”
Me: “Well, there was a zombie apocalypse at a school and a rat named mouse. But those were technically two different dreams.”
Troy: “What happened with the zombies?”
Me: “These zombies had taken over our school, and we had them locked in the auditorium, but then they got out. So, I was living on the roof of the school with nothing to eat but frozen green beans and frozen French fries.”
Troy: “How did they get out of the auditorium?”
Me: “Because the other people with me were stupid, and they let them out.”
Troy [laughing]: “That’s funny! Then, what happened?”
Me: “I managed to trap them all in the auditorium again by setting a trap. Then, I poured gasoline on one zombie and lit him on fire. He started stumbling around, bumping into all of the other zombies and setting them all on fire. And the entire auditorium burned to the ground with the zombies inside.”
Troy [laughing]: “Zombies are so stupid! So, what about the rat?”
Me: “Oh yeah, that was long after the zombies. We were in another place, and we were resistance fighters against some bad guys. And we all had pet animals. I had a sugar glider named ‘Sugar.’ And there was a woman who had a pet rat that she had named ‘Mouse.’”
Troy: “Why?”
Me: “That’s a great question. I don’t know. She was a weird person.”
Troy: “Maybe it looked like a mouse.”
Me: “Maybe. What was your dream about?”
Troy: “I was at my 3D camp, working on my iPad when I suddenly got sucked into it. And then, I was in the world I had created, but it was also different, like the game was adding things on its own. Like there was a haunted maze outside the boss’s dungeon.”
Me: “Why was it haunted?”
Troy: “Because there were haunted monsters in it, and the worst was a haunted elephant that had a knife that kept chasing me.”
Me: “How could an elephant hold a knife? They don’t even have thumbs!”
Troy: “He was cursed! He was walking on two legs. Did you not hear the part about him being haunted?!”
Me: “Okay, so he was like some sort of hybrid now that he got cursed. Got it. Then, what happened?”
Troy: “So, I had to make it through the maze while being chased by the elephant, and I ended up in a second maze. This one was guarded by Cerberus, who was formed when three dogs died in the maze at the same time, and they were fused together. See, if you die in the maze, then you become cursed, and you’re forced to be a monster in the maze, chasing other people.”
Me: “So, that’s what happened to the elephant?”
Troy: “Exactly. The other thing about the maze is that it had a lot of dead ends, which I kept wandering into. Except when you go into a dead end, these giant axes come out of the ground and slice you in half.”
Me: “Oh, so it was really like a ‘dead end’!”
Troy: “Yes. So, Cerberus kept trying to chase me into the dead ends, but I figured out that I could turn invisible by pushing one of the game controls. So, he couldn’t see me anymore, and he got bored and wandered off.”
Me: “Wait! You still had access to the game controls from within the game?!”
Troy: “Yeah, they were in a panel on the side that I could open up.”
Me: “That’s convenient. So, did you get out of the maze or did the axes get you?”
Troy: “I got out, and then I was in the dungeon, which is the last level before the Enchanted Forest. Cerberus followed me into the dungeon.”
Me: “But I thought he couldn’t see you, because you were invisible.”
Troy: “When I passed through the dungeon gate, I was no longer invisible.”
Me: “Oh, like that waterfall in Gringott’s in Harry Potter that removed all enchantments when you passed through it.”
Troy: “Exactly like that. So, Cerberus was chasing me again, but now I had a huge scythe like they used to cut the crops in Egypt, and I swung it around to attack him. But there was also a polar bear there, wearing armor and twirling a giant axe around trying to hit me.”
Me: “That reminds me of the armored polar bears in The Golden Compass.”
Troy: “I don’t remember them.”
Me: “I’ll show you later. Please continue.”
Troy: “So, I’m fighting Cerberus and the polar bear at the same time.”
Me: “Why didn’t you just sing to Cerberus?”
Troy: “Why would I do that?”
Me: “Sorry, I guess my mind’s stuck on Harry Potter now. In the movie, they got the three-headed dog to fall asleep by singing to it. Ooh, maybe the polar bear could sing to him! I bet his voice sounds like Geoff from VoicePlay.” [singing in a deep, bass voice] “Ave Marie, don’t you know I love you so, even though I’m just a polar beeeeaaaaar!”
Troy: “That’s not what a polar bear sounds like when it sings! He doesn’t sound like Geoff!”
Me: “Then, what does he sound like?”
Troy: “Roar roooaaar roar roar rooooooaaaaaaar!”
Me [cracking up laughing]: “That was gold, Troy! Absolutely gold!”
Troy: “But he’s not singing, because he’s not trying to put Cerberus to sleep. They’re on the same team. Both of them had a red glow underneath them, and I had a blue glow. That’s how you know we’re not on the same team.”
Me: “Are you sure he can’t sing?”
Troy: “Yes! Now, back to my dream. I swung my scythe and sliced them both in half. After that, I faced the boss in the Enchanted Forest. He had a cannon on his back that shot lava up into the air. After I killed him, I headed back through the dungeon and the maze, which was easier without Cerberus and the polar bear.”
Me: “Makes sense.”
Troy: “But when I got back to the first maze, the haunted elephant was waiting for me at the gate. He’d just been standing there the entire time.”
Me: “Did he have a red glow underneath him too?”
Troy: “No, he didn’t have a glow at all.”
Me: “Then, why was he attacking you?”
Troy: “Because he’s just psycho!”
Me [laughing]: “He’s just psycho. This is an awesome dream, Troy. I’m going to write this all down, so we don’t forget it. But in my version, the polar bear is going to sing.”
Troy: “He doesn’t sing!”
Me: “But he will!”
Troy: “Arrrgggghhhh!”
