The Slide-Off!

Since my wife is planning to be gone for the next two days at her presentation, she decided to leave work early and spend some time with Troy at the park. I met the two of them over there, never one to miss the opportunity to play! What started out as a typical playground romp quickly turned into a "slide-off" between Troy and I. Troy would attempt a go down the slide with a certain level of difficulty, and I would have to duplicate the effort. Then, he'd try something a little harder, and again I would have to follow suit. It was like a game of HORSE in basketball, except we used slides instead of a ball and hoop.

Troy's first challenge was a face-down, feet-first, no-look slide down the very tall and windy gray slide. He completed it with ease, only complaining a little of getting slide burn on his belly when his shirt slid up. He got to the bottom where I was filming him, and he said, "Your turn, dada!" And the gauntlet was dropped.

I didn't even know we were doing a slide-off until that moment when my son called me out in front of the entire playground. Realizing that I needed to save face, I slowly climbed up the fifteen or so stairs to the top of the slide, seeing the world dissolve from distinct shapes into just a blur of colors. The clouds were closer and the air was thinner at this height, and I was afraid I was going to pass out before I ever made my first attempt down the course. But the mocking smile on my three-year old's face gave me courage, and I lowered my long legs into the chute and got ready. Then with one last, deep breath I let go and bumped and twisted my way down to the bottom.

But this was just the first test, and Troy quickly ascended the tower to turn up the heat! He must have felt that going feet first was playing it safe. Even though the "no look" element made it a little more scary, he needed to up the danger factor. So, for his second challenge, he decided to go head first. Which he did easily and with a smile still on his face. Which meant I was now up to match the feat.

I once again climbed to my doom and stared down into the throat of danger. I lowered myself onto my belly and slowly and gently extended my head and torso over the edge and into nothingness. I hooked my toes onto the edge of the opening, and I was trying to get up the courage to let go, when I felt two little hands grab the bottom of my shoes and push me down the slide. As I saw the wood chip-covered earth rushing toward me at a dizzying speed, I screamed, "Nooooooo puuuuuuushhhhing!" I slid off the end of the slide with force and landed ungracefully on the ground...but I was alive.

That apparently was the extent of Troy's repertoire, so having been unable to best me, he turned over the challenge to me. I had one last chance to win it all and go home the champion. So, I decided to combine elements from both of our previous slides. I attempted a head-first, on-my-back, no-look slide. As I lay on my back at the top of the slide, toes firmly gripping the edges of the opening, images of me breaking my neck on the hard ground below flashed through my head. But it would all be worth it to wipe that smug smile off my son's face once and for all. So, without another thought for safety or reason, I released my toes and plummeted to the earth below. There is something both scary and exhilarating about knowing that imminent death is quickly approaching, but not being able to see it coming or stop it. I managed to skid to a stop just before the end of the slide. I exhaled the breath I'd been holding with relief. But it was all short-lived, as I realized that Troy was snaking down the slide toward me! He slammed into me, and we both slid off the end of the slide. I landed with a thud and Troy landed on top of me. Surprisingly, we were both cracking up laughing. I guess the slide-off was a draw.