Fire!

Troy has had a fever since Monday evening, so I’ve been keeping him home this week with me. At night, he’s been sleeping with my wife in the “big bed,” so she can monitor him during the night. Last night, he was restless and moving around, so my wife woke up to check on him and readjust his blanket. When she touched him, he was on fire.

She immediately woke up and took his temperature, and it was 103 degrees. I went in there when I heard the commotion, and we managed to get some Tylenol into him. Then, we all bundled up and headed to the emergency room. Thankfully, by the time we got there, Troy’s temperature was back to normal, and he was in better spirits, looking around and taking everything in.

We sat down with the 20 or so other families to wait, most of whom were there for the exact same reason. After about an hour, one woman got up to complain to the nurse’s station about having been there seven hours already, and the dread crept over me. I told my wife that we should be prepared for a long night, because we weren’t going to be a high priority, especially since Troy’s temperature was normal again.

After another hour, I heard the nurse tell someone that it about an eight-hour wait time. It was two o’clock in the morning by this point, so a night with sleep was out of the question. Other people that had been there longer than us were also getting frustrated and had started to leave. I mean it’s ridiculous that hospitals can’t arrange enough staff to treat people faster than eight hours.

You know how In the movies and TV that someone walks into an emergency room and gets treated immediately? Yeah, that does not mirror reality. But I guess it wouldn’t make for good entertainment if the audience had to sit there for eight hours for the star to get seen.

So, after two hours of sitting there and seeing only one family get called back, we left. Troy’s temperature was still doing okay, and he looked more exhausted than anything. So, we felt he’d do better with a little sleep than sitting at the hospital. He fell asleep in the car, so I guess we were right.

I’d like to say the rest of the night…er, morning…passed peacefully, but it didn’t. Around 4 o’clock, Troy started choking on all of the snot running down his throat, which made him start crying. The more he cried, the more snot came, the less he could breathe. We spent the next hour trying to calm him down. By the time I was able to fall asleep again, I got about two hours of rest before I had to be up for work. Unfortunately, I had to deal with a “high priority” escalation, so I couldn’t take the day off.

We were able to get Troy into his pediatrician at 10:30 this morning. So ironically, at about the exact same time that we would have finally made it back to a room at the hospital, we were seeing his doctor. And we’d gotten to spend the night at home. Plus, we saw the doctor right away, whereas at the hospital, we would have had to sit in the room for at least another half an hour before someone came to check us out.

All that to find out that Troy had a virus. No strep, no infection. And there’s nothing we can do but keep him comfortable. Luckily, he’s had no fever since last night, so we’re praying that he’s past the worst of it now.

Cold as Ice

Troy likes his food ice cold and frozen on the inside. If there is even a hint of heat, and I mean if it’s 0.0000000001 degrees over room temperature, then he’ll jerk his outstretched hand away and squeal that it’s too hot. If we weren’t concerns about issues with uncooked food, we’d pull it out of the refrigerator and throw it directly on his plate.

The odd thing is that he’s the exact opposite with his bath. If it’s not peel-your-skin-off-boil-you-like-a-crawfish, then he complains it’s too cold. So, I guess it’s hot on the outside and cold on the inside!

Wanted for Questioning

Crime: Murder by strangulation with a “chocolate banana” on September 24, 2022 sometime between 4:45 and 5:00 pm.

Victim: White toilet, between 7 and 8 years old, found stuffed with shreds of paper and full of water

Suspect: White male, between 3 and 4 years old, approximately 3 1/2 feet tall, between 40 and 45 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes

Additional Info: Witnesses claim that the suspect was seen shaking uncontrollably several minutes before the time of death. No one actually saw him commit the crime, but one witness heard what sounded like signs of a struggle coming from the bathroom directly before he emerged. Suspect was heard afterward saying, “I’m all good now. I feel much better.”

Police arrived on the scene within minutes and cordoned off the crime scene. The smell of “death” was strongly obvious, and at least one officer was knocked unconscious by it. First responders described the scene as gruesome.

The murder weapon was found lodged in the victims throat. A plunger was found on the scene, red with a wooden handle. CSI had to use it to clear out the victim’s stomach contents.

Incorrigible

Troy has been incorrigible this week. He does his shenanigans, which makes me mad. So, he does more shenanigans, which makes me madder. It’s like he’s trying to have fun with me, and the less fun I am, the more he acts out to elicit fun from me. He’s missing that the shenanigans aren’t fun. I admit that I haven’t been in a fun mood lately, but his behavior isn’t helping that either.

Impatient

The activity restrictions on Troy prove to be a challenge. I constantly have to tell him to stop running from dada, stopping climbing on dada’s shoulders, stop trying to punch dada, stop trying to sumo wrestle dada to the floor. It’s not really had an effect on his attitude, he’s still generally upbeat and positive. However, the lack of physical outlet has caused him to be more willfully disobedient. But the worst part is that it's affecting our relationship. We connect through playing together, and without that, we're just not in sync. Troy is more impish, and I have less patience for his stubborn and mischievous manner. To be honest, I think he's getting impatient too. He wants to get back to normal, and he's tired of being parked on the sidelines.

Uncalled For

Me: "Hey! You didn’t let me know that breakfast was ready."
Troy: "Go back upstairs, and I’ll let you know that breakfast is ready."
Me: "You’re not going to just leave me upstairs while you eat all of the bacon, are you?"
Troy: "No…maybe." [munching on a piece of bacon]
Me: "Okay, I’ll go back upstairs, and you can call me."
Troy: "I didn’t say it yet."
Me: "I know, I’ll let you know when I’m upstairs."

Me walking upstairs…

Me: "Okay, I’m upstairs."

Troy running to the front room…

Troy: "Dada! Breakfast is ready!"

I Will Crush You!

“Move, dada, or I will crush you!” I turned to see Troy holding his little stool, attempting to put it next to the bed, so he could climb up. I was apparently in the exact spot that it “belonged,” and he had just given me the equivalent of a warning shot across the bow. I’m not exactly sure what him “crushing” me would look like, but I guess it was supposed to be intimidating. Honestly, I found it more humorous than anything, such big tough talk coming from such a little guy.

The Love of a Good Girl

We took Troy back to the daycare today. My wife said that Misha came running to the door to greet them, as soon as my wife and Troy appeared in the class. Troy got a big smile on his face when he saw her. Apparently, she took Troy’s hand and told my wife, “I’ll take care of him from here” as she led him into the class. I guess her mom, who my wife had been texting about Troy’s accident, had told Misha that Troy had gotten hurt, and Misha was very concerned. It was cute to see her take such “responsibility.” She’s a good kid.

The teachers on the other hand are clueless. My wife informed them that Troy would need extra help and attention, because there were certain things that he couldn’t do on his own, like pushing down and pulling up his underwear. They looked at her like it had never occurred to them that they’d need to do something special or different now. I guess they feel zero guilt that my son broke his wrist in their watch.

When my wife picked up Troy in the afternoon, I talked to him on the phone. I asked him how his day went, and he said it was great. I guess he enjoyed the extra attention he got from Misha, and I assume from the other kids who were curious about his new green “robotic” arm. He probably enjoyed being the center of attention and getting to relate the story of how he got the arm and the powers it now gave him. I imagine that by the time he was done relating it, he was the envy of everyone there…such is the curse of those with imagination and the vocabulary to make everyone else see their stories.

My Pet Dinosaur

We had a friend come over tonight to visit with Troy, and she brought this cool T-Rex balloon. It floats just above the floor, and it has little feet that dangle down, so it looks like it’s walking when you pull on the string. Troy loved it! Of course, he also immediately set about having it attack everything in sight.

The Winter Soldier

We got a call today that Troy fell on the playground at the daycare. The teacher said that he was favoring his right arm and crying. We picked him up and managed to get him in to see his pediatrician. He concluded that Troy either popped his elbow out of socket again or had a fracture in his wrist…or both. So, he called in a favor to get us into the orthopedic doctor the same day, and we headed over to that office.

The orthopedic doctor took some x-rays of Troy’s wrist, and sure enough he had a hairline fracture just above his hand. They had to put a cast on it, which he has to wear for the next four weeks. I told Troy that he was getting a magic glove that would give him superpowers. After he saw it, he said it looked more like a robot arm. Then, he proceeded to go around punching everything with it. I had to tell the Little Winter Soldier with his one Vibranium arm to calm down before he destroyed the house!

He’s not allowed to run, jump, climb...or wrestle while he has the cast. I’m not sure how we’re going to slow Troy down like that. I guess he’ll have to be satisfied with just taking walks with me. After the cast comes off, he has another month of inactivity while his arm rebuilds the muscle. He also isn’t allowed to play at the daycare with his friends in the playground, which will be brutal. He’ll have to sit and watch everyone else having fun without him.

The most ironic thing is that I broke my right elbow when I was also three years old. I was also at daycare, fell off the monkey bars (I was actually pushed off), and reached out to catch myself. At least Troy’s injury isn’t as bad as mine. Still eerily coincidental.

Picnic in the Splash Park

It was a beautiful day today, only moderately hot with plenty of white puffy clouds overhead. So, we decided to go to the park and play. After some playground time and a jaunt through the woods to see the bronze animals, we ended up at the splash park. There were only a few kids out today, so Troy had the run of it practically to himself.

He was having so much fun splashing in the cooling water that we didn’t want to interrupt his play. So, I procured sandwiches, and we had a picnic in the park. Troy was spent after that, so he had a late nap.

Complete 180

Troy is like a completely different child with the potty training. He’s been fantastic about letting us know when he needs to go. We haven’t even needed to ask him anymore. We’ve even been able to take a few trips out as a family. We take him potty before we leave and when we get back. As long as we’re not out too long, he does fine. We still take the emergency bag with extra clothes and pull-ups, just in case, but so far, we haven’t had to use them.

Like a Boss

The daycare teacher reported that Troy had no accidents in his underwear all day today. This is a huge progression, since just four days ago, he was going in his underwear every hour! Apparently, he either let them know he needed to go or held it until they all go as a class every two hours. To be honest, I was very concerned that he was going to be stubborn and fight the potty training. But I’m happy to be proven wrong yet again. Troy never ceases to amaze me.

Becoming a Man

Tonight, Troy became a man. He passed through his rite of passage, and he came out on the other side. Some cultures have a youth go on a hunting trip with the warriors, some have them go on a walkabout through the wilderness, and some have them take down a wolf with their wits and a spear. But in my family that transition into manhood is when you go number two and stop up your first toilet.

Troy came home from daycare, and as we were taking off his clothes for his bath, he said he needed to use the potty. We rushed in there; he sat down; and some 10 seconds later, he said he was done. At first, I thought he was faking, because there’s no way he could go that fast. But lo and behold when he got up, there was a gigantic, man-size poop in the toilet underneath him. When he tried to flush it, the water level rose and swirled in circles, but nothing went down. It took three tries to finally get it to break loose enough to make its way into the unknown (Frozen 2 reference implied).

I’m proud of Troy most for telling us he needed to go, because that level of communication has been sparse lately. I’m also proud of him for going in the potty, because he was still wearing underwear at the time, which would normally be a cue to let it ride. And finally, I’m proud of him for fulfilling his rite of passage earlier than any of the men before him. Both my father and brother (two notorious toilet cloggers) were proud as well. My brother gave a shoutout that Troy was representing! Indeed he was.

Potty Training: Day 3

After yesterday seemed like we’d regressed, I decided to start today by doing some more research on potty training. I wanted to see what we’d done wrong and right. All in all, we’d handled it correctly, except for getting onto him when he had an accident. The intention wasn’t to make him feel bad, but to let him know what the expectation was for him to follow. But I’m afraid the way it came across was not what we intended. Which could have been why we had some setbacks. We also tried to introduce the underwear too quickly and for too long of time. The moment we put it on him, it was like a warm familiar blanket. He relaxed, and he peed almost immediately…every time.

So today, we tried a lot more patience. We left him naked a lot more. We didn’t make a big deal if he peed in his underwear (the few times he had it on). We tried to be more conscientious about asking him to go try to pee once an hour. And we tried to incorporate potty training into the normal stuff that we’d be doing in a weekend, so he didn’t feel like things were drastically different.

Potty Training: Day 2

Me: “Troy, do you need to go to the potty?”

Troy: “No, dada.”

Me: “Are you sure? I don’t want you peeing on the chair. So, if you need to go, let me know now.”

Troy: “No, I don’t need to go.”

 

A few minutes later…

 

Me: “Okay, how about now? Do you need to go to the potty?”

Troy: “No, I’m fine.”

 

A few minutes later…

 

Troy: “Dada, I peed on the chair.”

Pretty much sums up how this entire day went.

Potty Training: Day 1

We decided to take the long, holiday weekend to start potty training Troy. For a week up until we had a countdown calendar on the refrigerator. Every night, we had Troy put a sticker on it and count the number of days until no diapers. We read that this helps the kid prepare for the sudden change instead of being surprised. He seemed pretty cool with the idea, but I’m not sure he completely understood the full implication of what it meant.

We decided to do the method of keeping Troy naked all day, so he’d be more consciously aware of his body and when he needed to go. He was not a fan of that! He wanted pants, or underwear, or something. So, I told him I’d also go naked to give him some solidarity. He seemed cool with that. It was a little weird to be walking around naked all day, and even more so to be playing with my equally naked son. It’s interesting how the world has made us feel ashamed of our nakedness. I didn’t want Troy to feel awkward, so I tried to carry on as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I want to preserve his innocence as long as possible. So, we ran around upstairs, wrestled, and barrel-rolled across the floor just like any normal weekend. At one point, we were playing with his trains, when my wife came upstairs and saw us. She started laughing, and she said, “You guys look weird.” I replied, “Why? We’re just two naked dudes sitting around, playing with trains! What’s weird about that?”

All in all, Troy did great with his first day of potty training. Much better than I thought he’d do. About an hour after he got up this morning, we had our first success. We asked him if he needed to go, and he told us he did. An hour later, he told us he needed to go on his own. Every hour after that, he was going potty. It seems like he’s on the same “every hour” cycle as me!