Saturday, September 24, 2022

Wanted for Questioning

Crime: Murder by strangulation with a “chocolate banana” on September 24, 2022 sometime between 4:45 and 5:00 pm.
Victim: White toilet, between 7 and 8 years old, found stuffed with shreds of paper and full of water
Suspect: White male, between 3 and 4 years old, approximately 3 1/2 feet tall, between 40 and 45 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes
Additional Info: Witnesses claim that the suspect was seen shaking uncontrollably several minutes before the time of death. No one actually saw him commit the crime, but one witness heard what sounded like signs of a struggle coming from the bathroom directly before he emerged. Suspect was heard afterward saying, “I’m all good now. I feel much better.”
Police arrived on the scene within minutes and cordoned off the crime scene. The smell of “death” was strongly obvious, and at least one officer was knocked unconscious by it. First responders described the scene as gruesome.
The murder weapon was found lodged in the victims throat. A plunger was found on the scene, red with a wooden handle. CSI had to use it to clear out the victim’s stomach contents.

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