The Unbelieving

Troy: “Dada, how old are you?”
Me: “I’m 387 years old.”
Troy: “No, you’re not! How old are you for real?”
Me: “387.”
Troy: “Mama, how old is dada?”
My Wife: “What did dada say?”
Troy [clearly not believing her either]: “Fine, how did you get to be so old?”
Me: “It’s the wolf blood inside me. It gives me longer life than normal. So, I may look like I’m in my 30s, but I’m really not.”
Troy: “You are not a werewolf!”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
Troy: “Mama, is dada a werewolf?”
My Wife: “What did dada say?”
Troy [exasperated]: “Fine, then how come I never see you turn into a wolf?”
Me: “Avocados.”
Troy: “What is that supposed to mean?!”
Me: “I can prevent turning during a full moon by eating avocados. But don’t tell anyone that I’m a werewolf. Only you and mama know.”
Troy: “I still don’t think you’re a werewolf.”
Me: “Just like you don’t think I have the Force?”
Troy: “You don’t have the Force!”
Me: “You saw me close the refrigerator door from across the kitchen without touching it! How can you not believe?!”
Troy: “Because you pushed the door.”
Me: “Yeah with my mind!”
Troy: “No, with your hand.”
Me: “I wasn’t even touching the door at the time!”
Troy: “Well, then it was already closing on its own. You didn’t use the Force.”
Me: “What about that time that I sent you that spoon for your food without moving?”
Troy: “Mama brought it to me!”
Me: “But who made mama do that? I used Jedi mind tricks on her.”
Troy: “She did it on her own.”
Me: “What about the time that I pushed mama’s car out of the driveway with the Force?”
Troy: “It was already rolling down the driveway.”
Me: “What will it take to make you believe?! What more can I do?!”
Troy: “Sorry, dada. You’re not an ancient werewolf with the Force.”
Me: “I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

Tooth Fairy: Part 3

After bugging Troy all morning to pull out the last dangling tooth in the front on the top of his mouth, it fell out on its own tonight…with a little help from a hamburger. That’s three down and seventeen to go! Now, he has a proper window on the top. Although, to be fair, he still isn’t talking with a lisp or whistling when he breathes, which is a bit disappointing.

Kindergarten Graduation

Today was the day of the kindergarten graduation, and I was unprepared for the amount of pomp and circumstance that was rolled out for it. It was like attending a high school graduation minus the diplomas. The kids all wore little blue caps and gowns. They marched in to the graduation theme music around an auditorium stuffed to capacity with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and siblings. They stood on a stage, singing songs and having their names called one-by-one. And then, they posed for photo ops and ate cupcakes.

Afterward, we all piled into their little classrooms for character awards, which is when the teacher reads out the character trait that she identifies most with each kid. Troy was paired with Peacefulness, because no matter what the circumstance, his teacher never saw him get flustered or get upset. He was always chillaxed. Of course, that may be because he was shy or just didn’t give a rat. Either way, while it’s a beautiful sentiment…I mean, we always thought of him as a gentle giant…it’s also hard to associate to the wild, crazy kid who’s often upset and fighting with us at home. I guess it is at least good that he only reserves that for us…I guess.

Troy dressed in his Sunday best, which meant he dressed in the only dressy outfit he has…a red long-sleeved shirt and gray slacks. But he had to also give it his own flair, so he finished off the ensemble with red shoes. He looked one part dapper, and two parts cool! We’re so proud of that amazing progress that he’s made this year, especially considering where he started. The teacher said he’s ready for first grade, so I guess we’ll see next year.

Letters to Jesus

To wrap up the school year, the teachers asked the kids to write a letter to Jesus, which they then bound into a book. The letter said one thing that they loved about Jesus, thanked Him for something, and then asked Him a question. Each kid was free to put whatever they wanted, and it was cute to see the kinds of things that they came up with. As an extra special treat, they invited all of the parents up to school today, so that the kids could read out their letters in front of the whole class.

I went up there to represent and support Troy. He wasn't nervous at all reading his letter out. He told Jesus that he loved Him because He was loving. He thanked Him for the Bible. And he asked him why He made snakes.

I thought it was funny the kinds of questions that the kids asked. They weren't deep or complex. Nothing like we'd ask as adults, such as, "Why are we here?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" No, they wanted to know if He liked dogs, if He still loves bad guys, if there is an actual door to Heaven, how many stars there are, and the most critical question of all...if there would be trains in Heaven. It was cool, though, to see them thinking about things that they don't understand or are curious about, and realizing that the best source of information was God. And it didn't hurt that it got the kids to practice their writing and reading.

A Parent's Worst Nightmare: Part 2

Troy and I went to the grocery store today to buy a few items. While I was checking out, he was doing his usual wandering around the area, checking out and touching everything in sight. I didn’t think anything of it, since he never strays very far. But when I got done at the register and turned around, he was gone.

My first instinct was to freak out that he’d been kidnapped. After all, my wife has done an excellent job of drilling into our heads about all of the cases of child extrication around the world. But then, I took a deep breath and tried to think rationally. If I was Troy, where would I go? I let my eyes rove over the food court, the balcony, the self-soup area, the registers, and the magazine end caps. There was no sign of a blonde curly-head sticking up anywhere. I stood still, waiting for a moment, in case he came back to the area. I wanted him to be able to find me. As my eyes once again swept the area, a flash of red caught my eye outside the window. I glanced back and saw Troy on the other end of the store walking across the parking lot outside with another man. I took off running through the store as fast as my legs could carry me. I made it to Troy just as they arrived at the man’s car. Troy looked confused and scared, and as soon as his eyes saw me, he burst into tears.

The man told me that apparently Troy had mistaken the man for me and had followed him out of the store. When the man realized that Troy was lost, he told Troy that he’d wait with him until I showed up, which ended up being about five seconds. Inexplicably, the man was parked right next to my car, so at least I would have found them eventually, I guess. I thanked the man and then grabbed Troy in my arms, while he cried and slobbered on my shoulder. I held him like that for several minutes, rubbing his back and reassuring him, until he finally stopped crying. Through his last sniffles, Troy said, “Dada, I was afraid that I was going to have to go live with that strange man. But I didn’t want to go live with him. I want to live with you. I’m glad that you came for me. I love you, dada.” I told him that I loved him too, and that I’d always come for him.

I’m just thankful that he was okay, and that I got to him in time. I don’t truly think that man would have hurt Troy or that he wanted to do something nefarious. But I’m still grateful that the Lord kept Troy safe. Maybe that man wasn’t who I thought he was. Maybe he was really an angel in disguise sent to watch over Troy. Who knows? I do know that I’ll never get used to the sinking feeling in my heart whenever Troy suddenly disappears on me. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare.

Tooth Fairy: Part 2

Troy lost his second tooth today while at school. After weeks of wiggly teeth, they're dropping like flies! They were nice enough to put the tooth into a little "tooth box" and stuff it into his backpack, so he wouldn't lose it. I guess we'll be summoning the tooth fairy again tonight.

How We Were Made

Troy: “We had a mystery reader today.”
Me: “Oh yeah. What book did they read?”
Troy: “It was a book about how you were made.”
Me: “Me personally?”
Troy: “Yes…well, no. It was about how everyone was made.”
Me: “I see. And how were we made?”
Troy: “From dirt.”
Me: “We sure are. Anything else?”
Troy: “I think that’s it.”
Me: “Well, I can tell you how I was made. God gathered some dirt together and then He spit on it to make it stick. Then, He said, ‘We need to bring this pile of dirt to life.’ And then, He sat on my face and farted. I gasped to life, coughing and gagging. I asked Him what that smell as. And God smiled, lifted His hand, and said, ‘Welcome to the world. Be prepared for this to happen to you throughout your life!’ And that’s exactly what’s happened to me. Everyone has farted in my face my entire life.”
Troy [laughing hysterically]: “I farted on your face!”
Me: “Exactly! So did Uncle K and mama. Which leads us to an interesting point, Troy. If God created everything, then that means He created farts too.”
Troy [laughing]: “God didn’t create farts!”
Me: “Sure He did. He created everything. If He didn’t, then who did?”
Troy: “I don’t know. Maybe He just put gas in our bellies, which turned into a fart.”
Me: “That’s a fart! It’s the same thing.”

Tooth Fairy: Part 1

Well, after weeks of Troy moving his wiggly teeth around with his tongue, he finally lost the first one. Surprisingly, not because he was messing with it. It was the bottom middle tooth on the right side. He caught it on the lip of his smoothie bottle, and when he pulled the bottle down, the tooth came with it! He might not have even noticed it, if it hadn’t crunched when he chewed on it. You can barely tell he’s missing a tooth, though. He already has his permanent tooth growing in behind it.

UPDATE: Troy stuffed his tooth into the little pocket on his Tooth Fairy pillow last night and woke up to find a coin there instead. But not just any coin…an Eisenhower silver dollar. Troy loved it, mostly because of how big it is. Now, he’s trying to figure out how to get his other teeth to fall out, so he can bank on them too.

Jackalope

Troy: “Dada?”
Me: “Yeah, bud.”
Troy: “Was that rabbit with the horns on its head real?”
Me: “You mean the jackalope?”
Troy: “Yeah. Was it real?”
Me: “Of course it’s real. I’ll show you a photograph of one when we stop.”
Troy: “Like a real one, like for real life? Not a cartoon?”
Me: “Yes. I’ve even seen one. Well, not a live one, but one that was stuffed. There probably aren’t too many live ones that are pets, because as soon as some guy sees one, his first instinct is to shoot it and stuff it!”
Troy [snickering]: “Really? They shoot them?”
Me: “Of course! If a guy saw a unicorn, he’d shoot that too! Bang! Bang! Flying horse? Pull out your gun. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Any magical creature would be shot and mounted on the wall!”
Troy [laughing]: “That’s funny. Pull out your gun and shoot it.”
Me: “I know. Why can’t people just pull out their phone and shoot a picture instead?! Why do we have to shoot every beautiful thing we see?!”
Troy: “I don’t know.”

Shining Star

Well, after five long months of waiting, Troy’s name finally got picked for the Shining Star. Unlike I predicted, he was not, in fact, picked last. He was picked second to last. His sharing board has literally been done for two months. And over that time, I have had to watch as kid after kid has shared their life story with their classes, while me and my son have impatiently waited for his turn. But the wait was finally over today.

It seemed to me that the first couple of Shining Star boards took quite a bit of time to put together detail-oriented presentations. Some looked like professional scrapbookers had worked on them. But as time went on, the boards got sparser and less imaginative. In fact, during the mission trip, I spoke to several parents who said that they’d forgotten about it and had thrown something together literally the night before. That is not how Troy’s board came together.

It started with the fact that Troy wanted a black poster board instead of white, which I think really made the pictures pop. Then, he and I had a discussion about the aspects of his personality that he wanted to share with the world. I combed through countless photographs to pick the ones that aligned with his vision while also aligning with my artistic flair. Next, we had to find a way to represent his artistic side, so we painted an abstract picture together across the front of the poster board to serve as the background. And then, I had to come up with a design.

The creative process took several iterations over several weeks. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, but I knew that I’d know it when I saw it. It had to be something different, something fresh from all of the other designs. So, I was constantly watching the other kid’s ideas to make sure that I didn’t recreate what they’d done. A few colored the background as well, but it was with markers and was generally a single color. None of them had an original abstract painting! I had to pare down the number of photographs as well, which was an excruciating process. There are too many awesome picture of Troy…I love them all! And of course, everyone had their opinion as to the best ones to include. But you can’t please everyone, and in the end, I went with my gut.

When I finally decided on which photos to use, I ran into another issue. You couldn’t see the painting in the background, because the pictures completely covered it up. I pondered the problem for several days before I decided to cut around the main subjects, removing parts (but not all) of the background in each photo. This not only allowed more of the background to show through between the photos, but also gave the photos an almost 3-D appearance. This was the unique direction I had been looking for. Nobody else had thought of this style. After that, things finally started to click. The layout began to take shape, and the photos were mounted on the board. But I wasn’t done quite yet. My wife made one more off-handed comment about wanting dinosaurs walking across the top of the poster board.

Between you and me (and everyone else that stumbles across this blog post), I thought the suggestion was ludicrous and an affront to my artistic vision. But I wanted her to have a stake in the project too, so I pondered it some more. How could I encompass her vision while saving my own? And that’s when it hit me…not dinosaurs, but animals! Troy keeps saying that he wants to work with animals and be a zoologist, so why not incorporate that aspect of his personality too?! So, I scoured the internet for the prefect photographs of different animals and subtly added them around the board, focusing mainly on blue animals, so they’d better blend into the background (except for the snake, which was yellow and black to match his shirt in the main photo). There was a snake, a lizard, a butterfly, a bee, a beetle, a crab, and some feathers. Some of them crossed over the edge of the board into space, like the snake slithering behind the board and over the corner or the crab hanging off the edge by a pincer. Some interacted with the photos, like the butterfly covering part of a photo or the lizard standing on Troy’s name. And with that, it was finally done.

All in all, I still think he had the best board to show off. In fact, I want to hang it on the wall when he brings it home, because it’s just that cool to look at. And I’m not just biased (okay, I might be a little), but it’s seriously an amazing board. The finished product was even better than I had originally imagined. I’m very proud of it. But more importantly, Troy was very proud of it.

Mystery Reader

My wife and I signed up to be Mystery Readers today at Troy’s school. We didn’t tell Troy that we were coming, because we wanted it to be a surprise. His teacher doesn’t divulge who is coming either just that someone has signed up to do it. It’s like a big reveal when the parents walk into the class, and their kid lights up when they realize who it is. Usually only one parent goes, but it was extra special for Troy, because we were both able to go…and we read two books! My wife read The Legend of the Three Trees, and I read Pig the Rebel.

I had spent several hours yesterday baking cookies to take as a snack. They were supposed to be shaped like the main subjects of our books…trees and dog paws. But the cookies had a mind of their own in the baking process, and they just ended up as misshapen blobs. In hindsight, I probably should have made Rice Krispie treats instead. It would have been easier to use the cookie cutter on them as well.

Regardless, it wasn’t about the treats, but about reading with the kids. My wife did a fantastic job, engaging the kids and drawing them into the story. They loved being asked questions and getting to shout out their answers. I tried to make my book interesting by doing different voices for the various characters, which made the kids laugh. It was a lot of fun to see the kids and get to share some of our favorite stories with them.

Dove Park

Today, we went to Dove Park in Grapevine. My wife had seen it when she was doing a retreat for the university. The playground was really amazing. All of the equipment was made to look like animals or cartoon characters. There’s mice sleeping in a block of cheese. Anteaters doing science experiments in white lab coats. Beavers building logs and stepping stones. Turtles waterskiing behind a motor boat. Rabbits playing in a wishing well. A shack by the “lake” that leans to the left and has a hole in the shape of a rabbit through the side. And a treehouse built around a literal tree…well, it’s fake, but it looks real.

The attention to detail is amazing. Climbing blocks in the shape of giant grapes. Support beams shaped like giant ice cream cones. Steps shaped like blocks of cheese. It has to be one of the neatest playgrounds that I have ever seen.

Field Day 2025

They had Field Day at school today. Thankfully, the weather held up. It was cloudy and overcast, but no rain at least. My wife, my mom, and I all went to cheer on Troy’s class as they battled the other kindergarten classes. Events included jump roping, cup stacking, 100 yard dash, water balloon catch, pitcher filling racing, sack racing, and tug of war. And when they asked for parent volunteers on the sack racing, I was the first to raise my hand. Our team won, even after I had to jump over one of the other kid’s dad who fell in front of me!

My favorite part was the tug of war. The kids squared off against each other first. Then, they let the parents join in too. Our side dominated! But the best part was Troy telling everyone that the reason that we won was because I was on his team. I mean, it was a true statement, but it still felt good to hear it.

They wrapped up things with a bouncy castle park and shaved ice cones. All in all, a lot of fun. And all of the kids were so cute!

UPDATE: The Mighty McDows, along with their fifth grade counterparts, ended up winning the entire Field Day! Troy came home with a first place ribbon. In addition to that, Troy’s team won second place in the team cup stacking competition.