Mechanical Redundancies

8:45 p.m. - Exactly

I stop whatever I'm doing, go into the kitchen, and turn on the kettle.  While the water is boiling, I grab the two ice packs and go into the bathroom.  I lay out two syringes and three different needle sizes on a towel on the bathroom sink.  I pull out the two different vials of medicine and place them there as well.  I lay out four alcohol swabs, a gauze pad, and a folded piece of facial tissue.

I then run back into the kitchen to grab the now-boiling water, while my wife starts filling the syringes with medicine.  I come back into the bathroom with the water and pour it into a little dish by the sink, so my wife can drop the vial of Progesterone into it.  I then go back into the kitchen to heat up the "heaty bag" while my wife ices the injection spot.  I return, and I wait.

Then, it's clean, inject, swab, and ice for the first injection.  Immediately, we have to ice the second injection spot, which is on her backside.  After the normal squabble between us about the proper location of the ice pack (she always thinks I go too low), I apply cold pressure to the spot, while we wait for the progesterone to heat up.

Then, it's clean, inject, swab, gauze, tissue, heat, and massage.  This warm massage goes on for ten minutes or so, while my wife winces, cries, moans, and sometimes cusses me out.

It's the same routine every day.  Exactly the same way.  The only thing that changes is the location of the injection site.  It's become almost mechanical.  My body knows.  My internal clock knows.  I have actually fallen asleep on the couch before, and my body woke with a start at 8:45 p.m., so I wouldn't miss the injections.  It's like my subconscious is just waiting to begin the routine, even as my wife's is dreading it.

As hard as it might be on me, it's even harder on her.  I think she's the bravest person I know to step in that room every night knowing what's coming.  I don't know if I could do it.  Maybe that's why God put me on the other side of the needle.  It's also exhausting to have to get up and endure the process for 30 minutes before you can finally relax for the evening.

In the beginning, my wife handled all of the prep work, but as time wore on, I could see that she was getting more and more worn out.  It doesn't help that one of the side-effects of the medicine is insomnia!  So, I have taken to letting her take an extra five minutes of sleep on the couch while I handle the prep work.  It's not much, but it's something to help her.

We both can't wait until the injections are over...