Halloween of Generosity

So, yesterday, I picked Troy up and took him to the playground near our house. We played with two little kids there, and Troy had a blast. Today, I picked him up and took him to Adventure Kids, so I could keep working. He was so excited to go that he was bouncing in the car. It was amazing to see such a transformation in him in just two days of not going to after-care. I guess he really was unhappy, but he didn’t know how to tell me. It breaks my heart to think that he was so sad, and that I had just resigned him to his fate.

After the incident on Tuesday, my wife went on the warpath against Venom. She blamed him (and me for introducing him to Troy) for all of Troy’s “killing” thoughts. So, Troy’s Halloween costume, along with claws, swords, guns, and anything else deemed destructive were locked away. That meant that Troy had nothing to go trick or treating in. I didn’t really want to reward his behavior on Tuesday either. So, I decided that his punishment would be to stay home and give out candy to others rather than getting it for himself.

The plan actually worked out really well. Troy didn’t complain about his punishment. In fact, he was really excited to get to see all of the kid’s costumes, give them compliments, and put the candy in their bags. And when we ran out of candy, he even offered to give away his own candy, so that everybody got some! As far as a lesson in generosity goes, it was a huge success, and we didn’t really have to stress about Halloween. Win-win!

Trouble!

When I arrived at after-care to pick Troy up today, something was different. Troy was sitting on the bench under the tree with the teacher and the police officer. Normally, when he sees me, he comes running into my arms, but today, he just sat there. When I arrived at the table, the teacher said, “We need to talk. Troy has had a rough day.”

She proceeded to tell me that Troy had gotten into a fistfight with two other boys while they were lined up to come outside. She didn’t have any details, but I found out later from Troy that one of the boys was pushing him and trying to fight him. When Troy tried to go tell a teacher, but then the other boy started punching Troy. They all got talked to by the vice principal about how fighting is not acceptable.

Then, later in his time there, Troy got into another altercation with a little girl on the playground. She was climbing on the rope web, and Troy was in the way. When she asked him to move, so she could get down, Troy told her that he’d cut her head off. The little girl immediately told the teacher, and they pulled Troy out to sit and wait for me. What was worse than what he actually said was that the teacher was under the impression that Troy had said he’d bring a knife from home. He apparently didn’t say that, but that’s why the police got involved. It came down to Troy misunderstanding what the little girl had said and responding in kind, but I still talked to him about how it was inappropriate to say that.

Ultimately, nobody pressed charges, and Troy was let off with a warning. The vice principal said that they don’t take these things as seriously with a five-year old as they would with an eleven or twelve-year old. But the whole affair got me to thinking. That and when the teacher said that Troy had issues getting along with anyone in after-care.

This didn’t seem normal for Troy. So, I asked him about it. He said that everyone in after-care was mean to him and that nobody wanted to play with him, which explained why he was always playing alone whenever I’d pick him up. He said he had friends in his class, and he liked it there. He just didn’t like after-care. I had noticed other changes in him too, like him being moody and sassy in the evening. So, I told my wife that I wanted to find something different for him in the afternoons. We’ll see if it helps.

Venom

Vice Principal: “Hey, Troy! How was your weekend?”
Troy: “Great! We had a Halloween party.”
Vice Principal: “Oh, cool. What did you dress up as?”
Troy: “Venom.”
Vice Principal: “Oh…what’s that?”
Troy: “It’s a symbiote.”
Vice Principal: “A what?”
Troy: “It’s a type of alien that lives inside a human.”
Vice Principal: “Oh. Okay. Well, great, I guess.”
Troy: “Yeah, Venom is the best!”

Halloween Party...2024 Style

Today was the day of the party, so my mom and I were up early making the party food. We made mummies in a blanket, witches’ brooms, apple monsters, donut spiders, orange pumpkins, and worm cakes.

The haunted house was a big hit with the kids. My wife was very proud of how it turned out and scaring the beejeezes out of the kids. Some were one and done, but others like Troy went back for multiple rounds of “punishment”! Some of the adults even went through it out of curiosity.

Besides the haunted house, which was decked out with even more witches, ghouls, ghosts, reapers, and things that go bump in the night; we also had party games. My mom and I had put together carnival-style games for the kids to play. There was toss the skull in the jack o’lantern, toss the candy corn in the cauldron, toss the hoop on the haunted tree, and skeleton cornhole (which was basically tossing an orange or black beanbag into a skeleton’s face).

The kids earned tickets for the games, and we had a prize table set up for them to spend the tickets on. The ticket amounts had shapes to reinforce the numbers. So, 3 was on a triangle, 4 on a square, and so on. They also had to add numbers to sum up their ticket totals. So, sneakily we got them practicing school work without even knowing it!

To add to the overall ambiance, the house was also decorated all things Halloween. There was a giant reaper and two-headed dragon welcoming people in the door. There was a bowl of eyeballs on the side table. Mini pumpkins trailed up the stairs, ending in a spiderweb across the walkway. Ghosts and bats hung in the leftover tree from Troy’s birthday party. A witch’s hat hung on the wall. There was even a skeleton enjoying a bubble bath!

Overall, I think the party was a success. The kids seemed to really enjoy themselves. The adults were very complimentary of all of our efforts. And everyone enjoyed the fun food. And in the end, that’s all we really wanted to achieve. A good time with good company.

Monster Flirt

We took a break from party planning today to take Troy to the Monster Mile. We were supposed to be meeting his new friend Landry up there, but they weren’t able to come. So, my mom and I took Troy by himself. It was pretty much exactly like last year. Walk around, admire all the kid’s costumes, hug the actors, get some candy. The only difference this year was when Troy started flirting with one of the teenage girls handing out candy. She was by far the cutest one, so I can’t fault him for his choices. That’s my boy!

The Five Silly Fisherman

After the reading disaster last night, I decided to get him an early reader called “The Five Silly Fishermen,” thinking it might be more fun than just reading lists of letters and basic words. I focused on reading just one page of the book, which took us about fifteen minutes. Since the teacher said to try for around ten minutes of reading, it seemed like a good chunk of time. Troy seemed more engaged as well. It could have been the story or just that we didn’t sit there “working” for two hours. Maybe I’m onto something here.

Reading Homework

Troy had started to get homework every night now. The teacher has assigned us reading exercises. And yes, I meant us, because I have to sit down and do it with him. He is given a book of words, and he has to read them aloud to me. He’s supposed to be phonetically sounding out the words, but since most of them are accompanied by a picture, he “guesses” the word based on that instead. The problem is that half the time, he guesses incorrectly. For example, a picture of a hamburger bun was guessed as “bread” instead of “bun.”

The other problem is that he can’t sit still for more than five seconds. So, he’s constantly moving his feet, messing with the buttons on my pocket, or sliding into a reclining position. I got so frustrated at one point, that I actually duct taped his feet to the floor!

Overall, I was pretty patient…at least for the first hour…not so much the second hour. That’s right. An exercise that was supposed to take ten minutes, took two hours to complete. He cried incessantly. He said that he couldn’t do it or couldn’t remember at least 182 times. He said that he was the worst at least 23 times. But through it all, I wouldn’t let him quit. He thought he’d wear me down, but it didn’t work. I’m too stubborn.

He struggled with knowing the difference between “b,” “d,” and “p.” The “g” gave him fits too. But by the end, he actually read a complete sentence all by himself. And he was proud of himself. I just hope that every night isn’t like this.

Ye of Little Faith

Troy [grabbing a bag of candy]: “I want to get this too, dada.”
Me: “Why do you need that? What are you going to do with a bag of candy?”
Troy: “To put in the piñata.”
Me: “But we’re not having a piñata this year. I have planned different games for you to do.”
Troy [looking at me skeptically]: “We had a piñata last year. Maybe we should just do that again.”
Me: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. It’s going to be fun.”
Troy [still not convinced]: “Yeeeaaahhh….I think we should go with the piñata.”
Me: “I’m sensing a complete lack of faith in my party planning abilities. And now, I feel an added sense of pressure for it to be good, or you’ll hold it over my head for not listening to you.”
Troy [giving me a knowing look]: “There’s still time to get the piñata.”
Me [exasperated]: “We’re not getting a piñata!”
Troy [in a tone of “it’s your funeral”]: “Okay.”

Crab Tools

Troy: “Dada, did you know that there is a crab that has one spear hand and one hammer hand?”
Me: “The crab has two different hands?!”
Troy: “Yeah, I learned that on Octolords.”
Me: “Weird.”
Troy: “And did you know that some people used to rip the crabs arms off to use them as tools?”
Me: “What?! That’s so mean! Why would someone do that?! What’s the crab supposed to do with no arms?”
Troy: “Well, they could always give them robot arms.”
Me: “What’s the point of that when the crab already had a perfectly reasonable set of arms before someone decided to rip them off?! Why couldn’t they just use the robot arms as tools and leave the crab alone?”
Troy: “The robot arms aren’t as sturdy, so they’d break.”
Me: “Then, what good do they do the crab?”
Troy: “Not much. Personally, I’d give him light saber claws like Darth Maul.”
Me: “Now, that would be cool! Then, he could just laser his food or karate chop it like this.”
Troy: “Exactly!”

I Can Do That

Me: “Hey, bud. How’s dinner? Do you need anything?”
Troy: “Yes.”
Me: “What do you need?”
Troy: “A hug.”
Me: “I can do that.”

Haunted Vibes

We decided to throw a Halloween party for Troy and his friends, and of course my wife wants to do a haunted house again this year. It was so difficult trying to rig up a string system strong enough to hold the weight of the sheets, that I decided to try something a little different this year. I built a frame out of wood, so that it was easy to set up and take down. It also gives us the option to clip things to the frame, like sheets, lights, or decorations.

It took a bit of planning, designing, and wrestling up the wood, but I finally finished it today. Now, we just need to decorate it. At least I got started earlier this year, so we aren’t trying to do this in one day!

Just a Minute

Me: “I would love to be someone’s hero. Troy, wouldn’t you like someone to want to be like you?”
Troy: “Yep.”
Me: “I mean, nobody wants to be like me…except me. But then, I’m already like me, so there’s that.”
Troy: “It’s okay, dada, we still love you.”
Me: “Wait, what?! I don’t like the way you said that. It’s like ‘It’s okay, we still accept you despite your deficiencies, despite the fact that you’re not perfect.’ I feel like someone needs to wrestle. You want to take this inside?!”
Troy: “Sure, but you’ll need to wait until I’m done with my donut. I’ll be with you in a minute.”
My Wife [cracking up laughing]: “All right, baby! He’s got your number, dada!”

Hill's Pumpkin Farm

I’ve had this weird desire to go to a corn maze this year for some reason. Nostalgia from going to one years ago with my mom, CC, and his wife maybe. So, we headed to Hill’s Pumpkin Farm in Grapevine with Numi, Keanu, and their parents.

It was a pretty warm day and there were a lot of people there, but it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed talking to Numi’s dad while we followed the kids blindly through the corn maze. My wife got a funnel cake, because I guess that’s what you do at a fair…festival…farm. They had photo ops setup all over the place which was a nice touch. They had old tractors you could climb on. They had a playground for the kids. They had hayrides for a little extra money. And they had a petting zoo with alpacas, goats, and chickens. The kids had a blast…at least until we tried to drag them away from all of it.

Then, we went for dinner at an Italian restaurant, so the kids could hang for a little longer.

Clause Deliveries

Me: “Ding, dong!”
Troy: “Who’s there?”
Me: “It’s Santa Clause. Some guy told me to come here to drop off some presents. I have them in the trunk of my sleigh.”
Troy: “Oh, okay. I can take the presents, and I have some presents for you too.”
Me: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was told this was only a delivery. Nobody said anything about a pickup. If I’m picking up, then there’s a separate delivery charge.”

Feeding Alligators: Day 4

The drive home today was fraught with traffic. At one point it took us an hour to get past one three mile stretch of traffic, because they decided to close down one of the two lanes on the freeway! We might have had the same issue at a different part, but we were able to exit to the feeder road and get back on after the merging event.

It was later than we intended when we finally rolled in, and my wife left to go to her lab…to work some more. So, I started some laundry, and then Troy and I played neighborhood tag to burn off some energy. It’s basically a game of tag played while running around the entire neighborhood. It was pretty fun. I’m hoping he sleeps some tonight, but I’m not sure since he took a three-hour nap on the drive back.

Feeding Alligators: Day 3

My wife decided to work again today, so Troy and I did a guy’s day together. It was the hottest day of the weekend, so we decided to stay close and do some things near the hotel. We headed to Pirate’s Cove mini golf. We’d been seeing it every time we drove by on the way to downtown, and Troy really wanted to check it out. We grabbed our balls and clubs and headed to the course.

It was pretty neat the way they did things. There were caves, waterfalls, dead pirates in cages, and even a pirate ship. And at every hole, there were facts about pirates. Troy was a little tentative at first, since it was his first time, but he did brilliantly. He even got a hole-in-one on the second hole! I was so proud of him, and we had a great time together. At one of the last holes, Troy pretended to be the ball while I whacked him down the course…in eight strokes…it was so embarrassing. I can’t believe it took me that many strokes.

After golf, we went to The Purple Cow for lunch. The service was great, but the food was so-so. The fries were a little salty, and the burger was a little well-done. They also nickeled and dimed you for every change or add-on. But since we were there, we decided to get one of their famous purple shakes. For Halloween, they also offered to throw in some chocolate gravestones, sour worms, and spiders in an Oreo crumble graveyard.

We were both so stuffed, that we went back to the hotel to rest and let our food settle. We started watching Ghostbusters: Afterlife, but we fell asleep on the couch cuddling each other. It was a nice long rest, and when I woke up, I found my wife sleeping too.

It was pretty late in the afternoon, but we still wanted to do something, so Troy and I decided to check out the hotel pool. It was a nice indoor pool, but the water was freezing! It was like taking a polar bear bath in Minnesota. Troy and I lasted all of five minutes. He still wanted to swim for some reason, so we decided to take a walk outside to warm up, figuring getting really hot would make the cold water more bearable.

The second time in the pool, we took my wife. The water was still cold, but she lasted a little longer than we did. Troy splashed around in short bursts, then he’d come running to me to warm up, since I refused to get in again. We finished off the night with Domino’s Pizza, because well…they delivered.

We go home tomorrow, and I think we pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do. It’s been a fun and relaxing weekend.

Feeding Alligators: Day 2

We got a late start this morning. My wife wanted to laze around the hotel and rest after breakfast. I mean you’d almost think we were on vacation or something the way she was taking her sweet time! Oh well. We managed to get a full day in anyway.

We started at the Alligator Farm and Petting Zoo. Troy has been looking forward to this all week, so we wanted to ensure we’d get to do it. We decided to pay a little extra so Troy could feed an alligator. Well…a baby one at least. You could feed the big ones too, but I was afraid he’d end up as lunch. He got to feed the babies some cut up pieces of hot dog off the end of a stick. He held it out over the pool, and the alligators would lunge up and snatch it off the stick. He also got to hold a baby alligator, which was cool. I did as well, but my wife chickened out.

At the outdoor pools, the large adults were lazing around in the sun, warming up while they waited for lunch. I had been telling Troy that they fed the alligators stray cats, which he surprisingly accepted as fact. But they, in fact, fed them chicken parts instead. They would hook the chicken on a string attached to a stick, which someone would then dangle over the pool, waiting for an alligator to lunge up and rip it off. Troy didn’t actually have much interest in any of this. He preferred to go to the petting zoo. So, off we went to that.

They gave everyone a small cup of Chex cereal to feed to the goats, sheep, donkeys, and emus. I managed to scrounge up a second cup off the leftovers littering the ground. It was plenty to interact with the animals and have them nibble out of your hand. I loved the emus the best, as you’d hold the cereal on the palm of your hand, and they’d strike at it with their beaks. Troy wasn’t too jazzed about having a giant bird pecking at his hand, so he stayed mainly with the goats.

You could also pet the rabbits and tortoises. The rabbits were a little skittish, but the tortoises were extremely curious and would come right up to let you pet them. One saw me trying to take a picture of him, and he came right up and nosed my phone! Troy enjoyed this, but his favorite part was going in the goat pen. You could pet the Pygmy goats, while they nosed your hand, looking for food. If you weren’t careful, they’d even nibble on your clothing or shoelaces! Troy and I both ended up with goat spit on our pants.

The neatest part was when all of the goats suddenly stopped and looked up in the air at the same time. I watched them curiously to see what they were doing. A minute later, the wind started blowing, and the tree that was shading the back of the pen started to sway. Dried leaves detached themselves from the limbs and dropped to the ground, and all of the goats rushed over to gobble them up from the ground.

When I realized what they were doing, I jumped up and ripped some fresh leaves off the tree and fed them to the nearest goats. I instantly became a god to the goat herd. All of them started coming up to me to beg for a leaf, even the most skittish that wouldn’t let anyone touch them. I fed as many as I could, and I scratched them all, giving them a good rub on the chin, or the head, or the back. That seemed to make them as happy as the leaves.

I started grabbing leaves off the buildings and from the other side of the fences, and I handed them to the kids in the pen. Suddenly, the goats had a lot more interest in the kids, and kids were ecstatic to have the goats stop running from their outstretched hands. Soon, other parents had joined the leaf hunt, and we cleared the entire area of wayward leaves. None of the kids, including Troy, wanted to leave the pen. Alligators couldn’t hold a candle to nibbling Pygmy goats!

We left the alligator farm and had lunch at Kahlo Cafe, an homage to Frida Kahlo. It was sort of like a Mexican fusion place. It was cute, and the decor was eclectic, looking like random pieces collected from garage sales. However, the food was just okay. Filling, but nothing special.

After lunch, we went back to the hotel for a nap…well, my wife and I did. Troy was too wired to sleep. After that, my wife hunkered down in the hotel room to work, and Troy and I headed out for another adventure.

We headed into downtown Hot Springs, because I wanted to walk the Grand Promenade behind Bath House Row. The Grand Promenade is a scenic, half-mile bricked walking trail that stretches along the lower slopes of the Hot Springs Mountains. Trees lined both sides of the pathway, and leaves had already started to fall along the bricks, making it a beautiful and idyllic scene. A scene completely lost on Troy. So, while I enjoyed the leisurely walk; he jumped, and skipped, and ran, and traced the zigzagging pattern of the bricks. About halfway along the path, we discovered a trail that led up to the peak of the mountain. Of course, Troy immediately wanted to explore it, and I was perfectly keen to oblige.

I don’t think he really knew what he was getting himself into until we hit the first inclined slope. His legs were burning, and he started complaining. I encouraged him to dig deep and keep pushing himself, and we eventually made it to the top. That’s when we discovered there was a road that led there, and we could have driven it instead. Oh well. There was an observation tower at the top, but we decided not to go inside when we found out it cost money. So, we satisfied ourselves with a scenic view from the road, then headed back down the trail.

By this point, Troy was really moaning about his legs feeling like jelly, but I refused to carry him the rest of the way down the Grand Promenade. He made it just fine, even if he did stop several times and wobble his legs dramatically to show me just how jelly they were. I finally acquiesced and carried him when we started back down Bath House Row. And as a thank you for indulging my desire to see the historic pathway, I bought him a chocolate gelato.

It was getting late, so we decided to head back to the hotel and grab a quick dinner, which ended up being Sonic hot dogs. Troy found his second wind and was bouncing off the walls all night, but when I finally tucked him into bed, he was out cold in seconds. I’d say that was a good day.

Feeding Alligators: Day 1

We made the five-hour drive to Hot Springs, Arkansas today. Troy’s school was off on Thursday and Friday for teacher conference days, and they’re closed on Monday for Columbus Day. So, we decided to take a mini vacation.

About an hour or so after we left the house, my wife got tired, and we switched places. She and Troy then crashed, while I jammed out to my music, dancing and driving down the road. By the time we pulled in after dark, I was starving to the point of death, so the first priority after checking in was to get me fed.

The guy at the front desk recommended a local pizza place called Rocky’s Corner, which featured Chicago deep-dish pizza. The food was phenomenal, only overshadowed by the amazing waitress we had. She was so sweet and polite with her Arkansas twang. And she treated my wife like a queen and constantly called her “Sweetie” and “Darling,” which went over well with the female part of our group.

After that, we went back to the hotel for an early night.

The Clock

We had a teacher conference with Troy’s teacher and the Dean of Students last week. The teacher had sent us an email, stating that she’d noticed Troy seemed a bit lost in the classroom.

So, in an effort to help him learn better time management, I decided to get a clock like the one they had in the class. It’s like a giant timer that has a purple color wheel to show how much time is remaining. The kids can see the color slowly disappearing as the time counts down, and they know how much time is left.

I figured we could start using it at meal times to mimic the amount of time he has to eat lunch, since running out of time was his biggest excuse for not eating his food. After he got used to it for eating, then I figured we could use it for other things, so he started to learn how long time is when we tell him to wait or that we need food leave at a certain time.

So far, we have had mixed success with it at meal times. He is more likely to finish on time if we make it a game to “beat the clock,” or if him getting a dessert is contingent on him beating the clock. He is less likely to finish on time if he’s watching TV. When the TV is on, he is so distracted that he doesn’t even notice the clock. We end up telling him constantly that he’s running out of time, so it defeats the purpose. If we talk to him instead of letting him watch TV, then we have mixed success, as he might finish because he’s less distracted, but he might also not finish because he’s protesting at the loss of his TV time.

I feel like I’m just going to have to set the clock, not say a word about him eating or running out of time, and then just pick his food up when the time runs out. That’s exactly what they do at school (minus the visual clock), which is why he never finishes. The issue is that my wife is so obsessed with him not eating that she can’t help but vocalize his lack of food intake…constantly. So, I would have to keep her quiet about it as well for it to be successful. Something has to change, though. It’s not working this way.

A Punch in the Face

Me: “Let’s cut your nails, and then I think someone needs to get punched in the face with a giant inflatable boxing glove.”
Troy: “No one needs that!”
Me [laughing]: “Are you sure?”
Troy: “Yes!”