Shake Your Bhoov Thing!

We were watching the movie Home tonight, which centers around an alien race (the Bhoov) that is looking for a new planet to call home after a rival alien race destroys their planet. They decide to colonize Earth, which forces many humans into concentration camps. We follow one outcast alien who teams up with a human to help her find her mother. 

At one point, the alien is exposed to some music by Rhianna, and he can’t help but shake his tentacles to the beat. Toward the end of the movie, the outcast alien introduces the other aliens to the music, and they all start dancing uncontrollably. He shouts out, “Get your Bhoov on!” Which makes sense because Bhoov sounds like groove.

After Troy saw the movie, he started dancing too. He looked just like the aliens with their erratic uncontrollable gyrations. So, I started yelling, “Get your Bhoov on, Baby!”

Peppercorn Tots

Tonight, my wife made peppercorn tater tots. She put some of them on Troy’s plate along with some fish. He mistakenly grabbed one, thinking it was a piece of fish. He bit into the tater tot and got a piece of pepper on his tongue. He instantly started choking and turned bright red. I rushed to get him some water, which he greedily gulped down. The cooling water made him turn a slightly more-pleasant shade of pink, but he was still coughing in disgust. I guess the peppercorn is a bad idea.

Monsieur Belly Button

I was trying to entertain Troy while he was taking his bath. So, I decided to ask him about his day not with my mouth, but with my belly button. I squeezed the sides together to make it look like a mouth. I gave it a French accent, and I told him that the hair around it was a goatee.

Troy instantly loved this new game. In fact, he refused to talk to me for the next two hours, telling me that he’d only talk to the belly button. Which was fine, except it was getting red and irritated from me squeezing it. At one point, he tried to make his belly button talk to mine, but he has a semi-outie, so it just looked like his belly button was sticking his tongue out at mine!

Sumo!

Tonight, I was sumo wrestling with Troy in the den on his ABC mat. We did the sumo crouch. We did the sumo stomp...one leg, then the other. And then Troy bull rushed me, trying to shove me off the mat. The first time he hit me, I went backwards onto the couch. The second time, I held against the initial hit and the hit after that. He eventually got me off and onto the couch again. The third time, I side-stepped, and he went flying by, off the mat, and onto the couch. It was fun, and he seemed to enjoy it after a long day of feeling mostly icky.

Somewhere Between Reality and a Dream

Troy wasn’t feeling well last night, and he kept tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. He picked up a virus form another kid at the daycare, and he was drowning on snot all night. At one point, he was so miserable that he was whimpering.

So, I snuck quietly upstairs to check on him. He saw me peek around the door, so I asked him if he was okay. And he said, “Troy’s hands are covered in lava, and it burns. They’re burning, dada!” Concerned, I asked him if he wanted some cream for them. He said, “No” with a sigh. Then, he patted the bed next to him and asked me to lay down with him. I did, and he curled up on my chest and drifted off to sleep.

Today, when I asked him about the lava comment, he said, “I was in a volcano, and the lava was everywhere. I tried to get out, but it was covering me! And I got burned. I got burned by the lava.” I guess he was dreaming about being in a volcano for some reason. At least his comment makes more sense now.

Bed Movers

After the last few nights of Troy crying because we wouldn’t let him sleep in our bed with us, I decided it was time that he move to his own room. We had been getting him used to sleeping in there during his naps on the weekends. So, today, I deconstructed and moved his bed upstairs.

My wife took him up there and put him to bed, but he immediately started doing all of the same things that he did in our room. He wanted to read books, talk, play, anything but sleep. She tried laying down on the floor next to his crib, but that just made him want to climb out of his crib. Finally, she just left him and came back downstairs. Within seven minutes, Troy was out cold.

The Monster Strawberry

This is the conversations I had with Troy over breakfast today.

Troy: “I don’t like blueberries, I like strawberries. A strawberry is a monster with spikes. He has great big pointy spikes that are going to poke you in the stomach. He’s going to stick you until you’re dead. Then, you’re going to fight the strawberry monster.”

Me: “How, I’m dead?”

Troy: “You’re going to turn into two monsters and fight the strawberry monster and kill it. You’re going to be a blueberry monster with a hula hoop.”

Me: “So, I’m going to be a blueberry fighting a strawberry?”

Troy: “That’s right! You’re a monster blueberry, dada.”

Me: “How can I fight the monster strawberry if he has spikes?”

Troy: “With your hula hoop, of course!”

Me: “Of course, silly me.”

With a Shirt on His Head

I was trying to change Troy's shirt today, so that we could go to the park. However, I had only gotten the shirt over his face before he took off running. The shirt was still on the top of his head like a turban, arm holes flapping to the sides, half-naked baby giggling underneath. As I gave chase, I was reminded of a strange image of me doing the same thing when I was in high school, except I was the one with underwear on my head running around the house.

I would take showers at night, and as is usually the way with life I would start to head to the shower and then things would come up to distract me. People would want to talk. I would need to do something. I would think of something and want to do it before I forgot. Well, I would be carrying my underwear around, since I was originally on the way to the shower, and I didn’t want to lay them down somewhere because then I might forget where I put them. So, I started putting them on my head. Frees up the hands, and you can always find them again.

This, of course, caused quite a stir in the house, seeing me walking around with my whitey-tighties on my head. The crotch flying out in the back like a cape as I raced through the room. Tufts of brown hair sticking through the leg holes. Someone even commented once that I looked like a pharaoh. Of course, that was back in the day when my waist and my head were the same size. If I tried that now, my underwear would just droop down over my face.

So, seeing Troy running around with his little shirt on his head, arm holes flapping behind him like a cape brought back some good memories. I guess he's carrying on the torch! Or "CTRL-C, CTRL-V," as my brother-in-law would say.

The Slide-Off!

Since my wife is planning to be gone for the next two days at her presentation, she decided to leave work early and spend some time with Troy at the park. I met the two of them over there, never one to miss the opportunity to play! What started out as a typical playground romp quickly turned into a "slide-off" between Troy and I. Troy would attempt a go down the slide with a certain level of difficulty, and I would have to duplicate the effort. Then, he'd try something a little harder, and again I would have to follow suit. It was like a game of HORSE in basketball, except we used slides instead of a ball and hoop.

Troy's first challenge was a face-down, feet-first, no-look slide down the very tall and windy gray slide. He completed it with ease, only complaining a little of getting slide burn on his belly when his shirt slid up. He got to the bottom where I was filming him, and he said, "Your turn, dada!" And the gauntlet was dropped.

I didn't even know we were doing a slide-off until that moment when my son called me out in front of the entire playground. Realizing that I needed to save face, I slowly climbed up the fifteen or so stairs to the top of the slide, seeing the world dissolve from distinct shapes into just a blur of colors. The clouds were closer and the air was thinner at this height, and I was afraid I was going to pass out before I ever made my first attempt down the course. But the mocking smile on my three-year old's face gave me courage, and I lowered my long legs into the chute and got ready. Then with one last, deep breath I let go and bumped and twisted my way down to the bottom.

But this was just the first test, and Troy quickly ascended the tower to turn up the heat! He must have felt that going feet first was playing it safe. Even though the "no look" element made it a little more scary, he needed to up the danger factor. So, for his second challenge, he decided to go head first. Which he did easily and with a smile still on his face. Which meant I was now up to match the feat.

I once again climbed to my doom and stared down into the throat of danger. I lowered myself onto my belly and slowly and gently extended my head and torso over the edge and into nothingness. I hooked my toes onto the edge of the opening, and I was trying to get up the courage to let go, when I felt two little hands grab the bottom of my shoes and push me down the slide. As I saw the wood chip-covered earth rushing toward me at a dizzying speed, I screamed, "Nooooooo puuuuuuushhhhing!" I slid off the end of the slide with force and landed ungracefully on the ground...but I was alive.

That apparently was the extent of Troy's repertoire, so having been unable to best me, he turned over the challenge to me. I had one last chance to win it all and go home the champion. So, I decided to combine elements from both of our previous slides. I attempted a head-first, on-my-back, no-look slide. As I lay on my back at the top of the slide, toes firmly gripping the edges of the opening, images of me breaking my neck on the hard ground below flashed through my head. But it would all be worth it to wipe that smug smile off my son's face once and for all. So, without another thought for safety or reason, I released my toes and plummeted to the earth below. There is something both scary and exhilarating about knowing that imminent death is quickly approaching, but not being able to see it coming or stop it. I managed to skid to a stop just before the end of the slide. I exhaled the breath I'd been holding with relief. But it was all short-lived, as I realized that Troy was snaking down the slide toward me! He slammed into me, and we both slid off the end of the slide. I landed with a thud and Troy landed on top of me. Surprisingly, we were both cracking up laughing. I guess the slide-off was a draw.

Stair Climber - Part 3

I decided to remove the baby gates, since Troy no longer needs them. He long ago mastered walking up and down stairs, holding onto the wall for balance. He was at least closing them for safety purposes, since that’s what we always did, but over the last week, he was no longer doing that either. He found that if he left them open, then he could go upstairs and downstairs as he pleased without having to depend on us to open the gates for him.

When he came around the corner and saw them for the first time, he said, “There’s no gate!” “I know. I removed it.” “What happened to it?” “You’re a big boy now. You don’t need it anymore, so I made it disappear.” “Huh. Okay.”

As he made it down the stairs and saw where the other gate should have been, he stopped and said, “There’s no other gate!” “Yep. No more having to jump off the last step to get over the gate rail.”

Since the bottom gate had to cover the last step so that it could wedge between the stair rail and the wall, he always struggled with it. He’d have to turn his foot sideways and hop off at an angle, or he’d have to make a jump from the next step up. But tonight, he stepped down on the bottom step for the first time and just stood there for a minute, feeling the carpet between his toes. Then, he stepped easily down to the floor with a satisfied smile.

No Singing!

CC was telling me today that Declan loves music. He doesn’t like singing, he just likes listening. But he also doesn’t like anyone else singing either. So, if CC starts singing, Declan covers his ears, or he shakes his head, waggles his finger at CC, and says “No, no.”

Troy also loves music, but he also likes to sing or hum along. And Troy doesn’t mind if I sing along with him. However, if my wife tries to sing, he’ll start screaming, “No, mama! You don’t sing!” I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been singing to him since he was very little, and he’s more used to and feels more comforted by the sound of my voice…like a familiar memory. Or if it’s the octave of my voice versus my wife’s. We haven’t really tried it with other people singing. All I know is that I am the only one granted the distinct privilege of getting to sing with the little prince.

The only exception to this is with music from The Lion King. Nobody is allowed to sing those songs, not even me. If you even try, like singing “Hakuna Matata” quietly in the background, he’ll scream, “No, you don’t sing! It’s my song!”

Okay, okay

CC used to do this thing with Declan where he’d hug him for a little bit and then turn away, saying, “Okay, okay.” Then, he’d come back and give Declan another hug for a little bit and then turn away, saying, “Okay, okay.”

Now, Declan has started to do the same thing to CC. He’ll ask for a hug, then he’ll push CC away and say, “Okay, okay.” And then he comes back for another hug and repeats the process.

The Dentist

We took Troy in for his first dentist appointment today. The staff was amazing, explaining everything they were doing and demonstrating on Troy’s fingers before doing it in his mouth. He was very shy and reluctant at first, but by the time the dentist came to check his teeth, he was opening his mouth and letting her see every single tooth! She said that he has no cavities, and that he’s doing a good job brushing, which is a huge relief to me. Troy still does not make it easy on me. At this point, he has 20 teeth!

Sports Bar

Dinner time in our house has started to look like a sports bar. Troy has to have a TV distraction to eat, but he’s also very particular…and limited…in his tastes. So, we end up watching things on repeat until he gets tired of them. My wife and I are tired of watching the same things again and again for the 37th time, so we each watch our own things on our iPads. We have screens going everywhere with different genres of movies or TV shows, sound overlapping and blending with each other. It’s information overload! It’s also funny to watch everyone’s eyes flicking from screen to screen as some action on one catches our attention and temporarily draws us away from our own screen.

The Sliding Backside

My wife was home today working on a presentation, so I took Troy to the park to run around a bit to get out some energy and enjoy the beautiful weather (and to give my wife some additional Troy-free time to finish her work). 

When we got there, there was another little boy named William there with his mom. He was about the same age as Troy, and he ran up to us and asked Troy if he wanted to play with him. Troy reluctantly followed, unusually acting shy, but he soon got infected by William's energy and exuberance. They slid down every slide, chased each other around the implements, and took a turn on the swings. But it all ended suddenly when William fell and skinned his knee. The sight of blood was too much for him, and his joy turned to inconsolable tears. So, they left.

Troy wasn't quite ready to go, so we hung out a little longer. We started playing a game where I'd climb up this little rock wall, while he climbed up the stairs on the other side. We'd see who could get up their side and get to the slide faster. Of course, he'd always win. But to his credit, he kept giving me additional chances to test myself against the best.

After one go down the slide, I just stopped and sat at the bottom. Troy thought he'd be sneaky and quietly make his way up the stairs, around behind me, and ambush me in the back. What he didn't realize is that I was onto him and was filming the entire thing. Just as he came down the slide, I stood up, and he slide right into my waiting backside! We both erupted into a fit of giggles. And so, he tried it again to the same result. Boys!

Invisible

Sometimes when I’m playing with Troy, he’ll close his eyes and say, “You can’t see me!” I tried to tell him that that’s not the way it works, but he’s convinced that if he can’t see me, then I can’t see him. Oh well, I just play along.

Kindred Spirit

Today, my wife had a seminar to attend after work, so Troy and I had a “boys only” outing to Heritage Park. I thought he would want to play on the playground, but there were a lot of kids out enjoying the weather, and Troy wasn’t feeling it. Besides, it’s lost a little something without his Giagia to chase him around, pretending to be a T-Rex. So, we decided to explore the hiking trail instead.

At first, Troy was content to follow the concrete path and see the animal statues. But all of a sudden, he saw a shortcut through the woods that someone had made, and he wanted to see where it went. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea because we could get lost. And he said, “But there might be a bear or wolf in there.” To which I replied, “That’s another reason why we shouldn’t go in there.” He took another hard look at the path, seemed to make up his mind, and said, “It’ll be okay, dada. Let’s go!” And off he went with me trailing behind him.

We fought our way through brambles that tore at our clothes, low-hanging tree limbs that whacked us in the face (at least for me), and tree roots dead set on tripping us. The path wound down next to a ravine with a shear drop-off on one side and several places where the path had washed out. Troy never hesitated. He held his hand up to me and said, “Be careful, dada,” and he trudged on; exploring, hiking, alive. An obstacle was not a reason to turn back, but a way to test your strength, your resolve, and your ingenuity. This was what he was made for!

When we made it to the bottom of the ravine, we found a crude stone stairway on the other side, climbing back up. Troy attacked the steps, even though the height of each one stretched his little legs to their limits. Watching Troy go off road like this reminded me of taking vacations with my parents when I was a kid. My favorite ones involved hiking in the mountains. While they followed the path, I’d always trudge off into the wilderness to explore. I guess I found a kindred spirit in my son…someone else that likes to explore the unknown.

When we finally made it back to “civilization,” he decided that he needed to fight me (his exact words). So, we found some sticks under a tree and had a sword fight next to the parking lot, much to the delight of all the other people walking to and from their cars. While I tried to employ the more-refined epee style that I learned in my fencing class, Troy embraced the wild-swinging saber style that he’s seen on TV. Needless to say that while I held my own, mostly due to my strength and superior arm length, Troy did get a few lucky licks in, and as my bloody knuckles would suggest, they were effective and extremely painful.

It was a great way to spend a few hours, and we both should sleep well tonight. I’m thankful that I get these times to spend with Troy. He’s a lot of fun, and I love doing “manly” things with him.

Monster Hunters

My wife decided to spend the day doing a full cleaning on the house, which held zero appeal for Troy and me. So as a treat for him, I decided to take him out for an adventure. I had discovered this walking trail that winds in-between the houses of several neighborhoods before dumping out at a playground. Wanting to entertain him and wear him out before his nap, I thought this would be the perfect thing to do with him. We get some “boys time,” and we get out of the house…and out of cleaning.

It turned out better than I could have imagined! Troy is very much into monsters right now. His imagination sees them everywhere; not in a scary way, but in a cool point of fact way. Some days we’re being hunted, some days we’re the hunters. So, as we started down the path, he whispered, “Dada. Do you hear that? It’s a monster.”

I acknowledged that I did, and I said that I thought he was further up the path. As fate would have it, at the same time, I noticed a very large canine footprint in the mud next to us. I pointed it out. “There’s the beast’s footprint. It’s still fresh. He passed this way only a short time ago.”

Excitedly, he replied, “Yeah, we’re close. Let’s hurry, so we can catch him!” We took off running until we reached a fork in the trail. Troy stopped. “Which way did he go?”

I pretended to ponder both options carefully, knowing full well which way we needed to go. “Well, monsters always follow the yellow path. Do you see a yellow path?”

Troy walked up and down each path until he found a chipped, faded yellow stripe in the middle of one of them. “I found it, dada! The monster went this way!” So off we went again. Suddenly Troy stopped and grabbed my arm. “What’s that noise, dada?”

It sounded like a pump for a pool or fountain in someone’s backyard. It was grinding and humming. I whispered, “It sounds like growling. I think the monster knows we’re after him. He’s going to get away!” So off we ran again.

Suddenly, Troy stopped again. He pointed at a black, twisted tree poking up over the fence. “Dada! There he is! That’s his hand on the fence!”

“I see it! We’re so close!” And off we ran again.

Around the next bend, it started to sprinkle on us. I wasn’t too worried, because the weather report said that it wasn’t going to rain until this afternoon. Troy held his hand up to the drops. “What’s this, dada?”

“The monster is scared, so he’s sending rain to try to throw us off the scent.”

“Yeah,” Troy replied, as if that was the most obvious answer.

We finally reached the playground just before the rain started (so much for weather reports). We quickly squeezed into a little tube that looked like a tree to wait it out. Troy didn’t mind. He was monster hunting with his dada. It was going to take more than a little rain to dampen his spirits (pun intended). Unfortunately, the rain didn’t stop. So, we had no alternative but to try to hoof it back down the trail.

I put him on my shoulders, so I could go faster. For his part, he continued the game. He said this was good, because from this vantage point, he had a better chance to spot the monsters. And he did…all the way down the trail. “Hurry, dada, the monster is chasing us! He’s getter closer! Go faster!”

I was attempting to run the mile back to the car with 40 extra pounds on my shoulders in the rain…while being chased by a monster. Troy had no sympathy for me. If I was going to be a monster hunter, then I needed to toughen up!

We made it back safely and only mildly damp. But both of us were all smiles from our adventure. Who knew hunting monsters with my son could be so much fun?!

Banana!

Tonight, when my wife and Troy came home, I heard her yell, “Banana, banana, banana, BA-NAN-AAAAA!” Then, I heard Troy giggling. She’d do it again, and he’d giggle. After a few times, Troy was yelling it too. I came downstairs to find them both dissolved in a fit of laughter.

When I later asked what that was all about, my wife told me that it was on some Baboo cartoon episode that he was watching. Troy found it funny, and she’d enjoyed hearing him laugh, so one thing led to another.

The Big Hair

The last few days when I’ve been giving Troy a bath, I use the soap to pull his hair into a single long spike on the top of his head. He loves admiring it in the mirror before mashing it down so I can do it again.

Tonight, I was in a hurry, so I didn’t do it, and he said, “Do the big hair, dada! Do the big hair!” I laughed and twisted his hair into a big spike for him.