The Turtle Party

Troy: “Dada, what happened to the turtle from yesterday?”

Me: “He made it across the street safely. I can only imagine that he’s now on the other side having a new adventure! Or maybe he is just enjoying the swimming pool.”

Troy [giggling]: “That’s funny. A turtle in the swimming pool.”

Me: “Yeah, I bet he’s on his shell, practicing his backstroke. Oh, it looks like the geese have moved on as well.”

Troy: “They’re probably in the pool with the turtle. They’re having a pool party with balloons and decorations.”

Me: “Of course! What’s a pool party without balloons and decorations…and a backstroking turtle?!”

Troy [giggling]: “Yeah.”

Potty Training - Stage 3

Tonight, after his bath, my wife was getting ready to put a Pull-Up on Troy, when he unexpectedly said, “I don’t want a Pull-Up tonight, mama. I want underwear.” She asked him if he was sure, because that meant he couldn’t pee on himself tonight, and he confirmed his choice. For a month now, Troy has been waking up with dry Pull-Ups, so I assumed we’d need to start the nighttime potty training soon. But I never expected that he’d decide it was time all on his own. I guess we’ll see how it goes tonight. Legs…er, fingers crossed!

I am here!

CC was telling me that whenever Declan enters a restaurant now, he yells out, “I am here!” At first, CC found this embarrassing to suddenly have a dozen pair of eyes focused on you, but then he realized that people found it funny.

I told him that over time it might evolve into something more sophisticated. “Tis I, Declan the Magnificent! Your prince has arrived! Feast your eyes on this cuteness!”

Boy's Day Out

My wife said that she needed to fill out some job applications today, so I took Troy out to give her some peace and quiet. It was really hot outside, so I decided to take him to a new mall, Stonebriar Centre, where we could explore while enjoying air conditioning. Our first stop was at Barnes and Nobles. This particular location is by far my favorite. It has two levels with an escalator inside the store connecting them. The top level features a spacious cafe and sections of adult books. The walls are decorated with caricatures of authors, helping immerse you in the stories both old and new. The bottom level is entirely devoted to children and young adults, featuring books, toys, games, and puzzles. I thought Troy would enjoy exploring all the amazing things around the store, but all he really wanted to do was ride the escalator up and down. So, that’s what we did.

After that, we found a little enclosed play area at one end of the mall, and Troy wanted to go inside and play. The place was crowded with kids of all ages running, climbing, and sliding, while parents sat along the walls waiting. I actually got into a conversation with a Latino man who was waiting on his granddaughter. We discussed how much Dallas has changed over the years and how expensive houses are nowadays. But he left after ten minutes, and I sat alone, watching Troy enjoy himself. We stayed there for close to an hour, but finally I dragged Troy away to go have lunch.

The food court was chaotic and loud. I was craving a hot dog, and Troy opted for a hamburger. So, we agreed upon Sonic, and then found the only available table in the place to sit and eat. The food court also sported a giant carousel on one end, so after lunch, Troy convinced me to take a ride on it. He enjoyed it so much that we went two more times. He rode a gray horse called “Goofy,” whose tongue was hanging out of the side of his mouth, and he rode a huge black war horse called “Hercules.”

After that we cruised around the rest of the mall, stopping at the movie theater to pose with the cardboard cutouts, stopping at KidZania to pose with the life size airplane, riding more escalators, and playing in the play area one more time. After four hours, we were both exhausted. Troy fell asleep in the car, which I would have gladly done as well if I hadn’t had to drive us home.

Weird Flex

Troy: “Dada, I saw a squirrel in that tree throwing down acorns to the ground.”

Me: “Was he throwing them down to a friend or so he could find them later?”

Troy: “He was throwing them down to the ants.”

Me: “Well, that was nice of him. He was feeding them.”

Troy: “No, they were trying to pick it up and carry it to their home.”

Me: “I see.”

Troy: “But they didn’t make it.”

Me: “Oh, why is that?”

Troy: “Because a bird came down and took it away.”

Me: “Seriously?! That’s crazy!”

The Frozen Teacher

After I picked up Troy this afternoon, he wanted to go see the egrets and walk around campus a little. Near my wife’s old building there is a statue of Dr. Donald Seldin, who worked as the chair of medicine and has often been referred to as the “intellectual father of UT Southwestern Medical Center.” He transformed the school from a dilapidated barracks to a world-renowned medical center. The statue depicts Dr. Seldin standing at a chalk board teaching a class. Situated in front of him are a circle of empty benches.

Troy: “Who’s that guy, dada?”

Me: “That’s Dr. Seldin. He’s a teacher.”

Troy: “Why is he a statue?”

Me: “Well, legend says that he used to be alive, but then a magic spell was cast on him, and he was turned into a statue. He can only come alive again when he has students to listen and learn from him. Sadly, there’s no more students. Everyone just walks by his statue, and he’s forgotten. So, he stands there night and day…alone…with bird poop on his head.”

Troy [sitting down on a bench]: “I’m going to help him. I’ll listen to him.”

…

Nothing happens.

…

Troy: “It’s not working, dada. Why is it not working?”

Me: “I don’t know, bud. Maybe he needs more than one student to break the spell.”

Troy: “Come sit with me, dada. We have to help him.”

Me [sitting down]: “Okay, we’ll give it a shot.”

Troy: “Oh, I think I saw him move, dada! Did you see it?!”

Me: “I think so.”

Troy: “Look, he did it again! We helped him, dada! Now, can we go see the fish?”

Me: “Sure, bud.”

That's How God Made Them

Me: “Look at that fat egret, Troy!”

Troy: “That’s a baby egret, dada. He’s not fat, his feathers are puffed up.”

Me: “Why are the baby egrets puffed up?”

Troy: “Because God made them puffed up.”

Me: “That’s my boy!”

The Dragon

Troy [handing my wife a paper with blue tape on it]: “Mama, I made this for you.”

My Wife: “Oh, that’s cool. What is it?”

Troy: “It’s a dragon.”

Me: “It looks like a whale.”

Troy: “It’s not a whale.”

Me: “Well, maybe it’s a water dragon. I mean there are dragons that live in the water, like in How to Train Your Dragon.”

Troy: “This is not one of them.”

My Wife: “Oh, okay. Well, it’s a cool dragon.”

The Glare

Tonight, my son and I weren’t having a great night together. Possibly a combination of both of us being tired from the day, but he was whining and complaining more than normal, and I had zero tolerance to shift it to something more positive. The final straw came when he was glued to the TV and wouldn’t touch his dinner. So, I turned off the TV, which was not received with warm affection. He then reached out for my hand, which I thought was a gesture of reconciliation, but instead he held it up to his mouth and spit in it. Which, as you can imagine, wasn’t received with warm affection by me. A few words were exchanged, and then we dissolved into silence, as I ate my food, and he sat staring at me. 

Whenever I would make eye contact with him, he’d narrow his eyes and glare at me. It was funny to see his bottom eyelid crinkle as he raised it up, staring daggers of hatred at me. I didn’t even know my son knew how to glare or to convey such feelings of deep animosity with just a look. But it was perfectly clear what he was saying tonight. He was watching me die a thousand deaths, each one more painful and horrible than the last. And he went to bed hungry.

Tummy Talk

Troy: “Dada, my tummy is saying that I’m hungry.”

Me [putting my ear next to his stomach]: “Really? Let me hear it. It is talking! But why does it have a British accent?”

Troy [giggling]: “You’re so silly. It doesn’t have an accent.”

Me: “It absolutely does. It said, ‘Cheerio mate, I need some grub in my tum!’”

Troy: “Tee hee!”

The Fishes

My wife had arranged a pool date with several kids for today, but in the end, the only one to show up was Misha. Misha and her mother came over early, so we had lunch and let the kids play around the house for a bit while we waited for the others to join us. After it was clear that nobody else was going to be able to make it, we headed off to the pool.

It wasn’t too packed, and we were able to find a little patch of water to play in. It was a very sunny and hot day, so it was nice to get in the cool water and splash around. Misha is part fish, so she happily jumped right in with me, while Troy needed a little more encouragement. I finally managed to get him into the water, and I built up his confidence and trust by letting him kick his way across the pool, while I held him and the pool noodle he was hanging onto. After a few laps of this, he started to relax and enjoy himself. Soon, he was cruising across the pool all by himself, and he and Misha started chasing each other.

Surprisingly, Misha decided she didn’t want to swim anymore after a while, but Troy refused to leave the water. We probably paddled around for over two hours, and I never left his side. Which is undoubtedly why I got sunburned. But it was well worth it to see how happy my son was splashing and kicking in the water.

Cloud Pee

Troy: “Hey, Dada, why do clouds move?”

Me: “Because the wind blows them.”

Troy: “Oh.”

Me: “Do you know what clouds are made of?”

Troy: “No.”

Me: “They’re made of water droplets, and when they get enough water inside them, they drop them down as rain.”

Troy: “So, rain is cloud pee?”

Me [laughing]: “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

Troy: “That’s funny.”

Me: “I guess we better hope the clouds don’t eat any asparagus, huh?”

Troy [laughing]: “Asparagus rain pee! That would be so stinky!”

Me: “Yeah, it would.”

Survivor

Troy: “I didn’t even get to watch the computer tonight.”

Me: “I know. I’m shocked. I don’t know how you survived!”

Troy: “Stop it, Dada!”

Weird

Troy: “You’re mama!”

Me: “If I’m mama, then you’re mommy’s poopy.”

Troy: “You’re weird, dada!”

Me [laughing]: “You just now figured that out?”

Traitor

Troy: “Dada, I just tooted.”

Me: “So, I heard.”

 

30 seconds later…

 

Troy [covering his nose]: “Oh my gosh, that smells so bad!”

Me [covering my nose]: “I know…everybody knows. Wow!”

Troy: “I’m leaving, dada.”

Me: “Wait, you’re leaving me here with…THAT?!”

Troy: “Yep.”

Me: “Traitor.”

Pediatric Insomnia - Part 2

So, our attempt to get Troy to sleep by himself has had mixed success. He doesn’t get up in the middle of the night anymore, but now he won’t go to bed without having to come downstairs three or four times first. I’ll read him a book and tuck him in, only to have him pop up immediately and tell me that he needs to tell my wife something. She’ll take him back upstairs, listen to him ramble on about nonsense, and tuck him in again. Only to have him follow her downstairs because he’s scared of a non-existent zombie. It’s maddening, especially when you’re exhausted or don’t feel well. So, we fixed one problem only to have replaced it with another.

The Unicorn Hat

Troy: “That unicorn in my show was wearing a hat.”

Me: “How is that even possible? Wouldn’t his horn get in the way?”

Troy: “Not if they cut a hole in the top.”

Me: “Or if he was wearing one of those coach’s visors.”

Troy: “That's just silly!”

Heavy Conversations

Troy: “Dada, why did Shimba die?”

Me: “She was old, bud.”

Troy: “But why did she have to die?”

Me: “That’s what happens. She had too many birthdays, and then it was her time to die.”

Troy: “Well, I don’t want to get old and die.”

Me: “Me neither, bud. But eventually it will happen.”

Troy: “I don’t want you to die either.”

Me: “Thank you. Hopefully, it won’t happen for a very long time. I’ve had a lot of birthdays, but I plan on having a lot more.”

Troy: “I don’t want to have anymore birthdays.”

Me: “Well, you can’t stop them. Every year, you’ll have another one. But you have a lot of birthdays ahead of you, so don’t worry about it.”

Troy: “I don’t want you to die, Dada. I want you to stay with me forever.”

Me: “I’d like that too, but some day I will die, and then I’ll go to Heaven and hang out with God.”

Troy: “But why do you have to die?”

Me: “Well, when God determines that I’ve had enough birthdays, then He’ll decide it’s my time to die. And then, He’ll take me to live with Him in Heaven.”

Troy: “I’m sad, Dada. I don’t want you to die.”

Me: “Don’t be sad. You shouldn’t focus on losing me, you should focus on spending as much time with me as you can while I’m here. You don’t need to worry about any of this. All you need to do is enjoy our time together today. That’s it. Just have fun with me today, and don’t worry about any of that other stuff. Right?”

Troy: “I guess so. I still miss Shimba.”

Me: “Me too, bud. She was a good dog.”

Flying Cheese

Troy: “Dada, I see a plane coming.”

Me: “You do?”

Troy: “Yeah, it’s yellow, like flying cheese.”

Me [laughing]: “I’ve never seen flying cheese.”

Troy: “Well, look over there, and you’ll see it.”