Anger

Dear God, it's been about six weeks since I've been in my War Room.  In that time, I've been to Chicago, Greece, and New Orleans.  But the only thing that matters during all of that is that we had our first round of IVF in Greece and lost the baby two weeks later.  My wife is devastated.  Even though her mind tells her that most people have to go through more than one round, her heart still feels loss.

Me?  I'm more angry.  I felt for sure that You were orchestrating for this to be it.  That You were going to bless this, and maybe even give us twins.  Instead we're back to nothing again, and I don't know why.  What is the point of this senselessness?!  How can You put it on someone's heart to be a parent and then not give them a child?  We are good and faithful people.  Why do You want us to suffer?  I've never doubted Your existence, but today I'm doubting Your motives.

I never wanted to go this route, but it's the one You seemed to be taking us.  Then, after all we went through, You didn't even come through for us.  I'm sorry, but at a time like this, it's hard to be patient and wait for Your timing.  It's hard to sit back and think about Your plan.  Right now, I'm just angry.  I'm disappointed in You.

"I am worn out from my groaning.  All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.  My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fall because of all my foes.  Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping.  The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer."  Psalm 6:6-9 NIV

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18 NIV

"Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains!  For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones."  Isaiah 49:13 NIV

"I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:20-23 NIV

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."  Ecclesiastes 11:4 NIV

"'I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.  So now I give him to the Lord.  For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.'  And he worshiped the Lord there."  1 Samuel 1:27-28 NIV