Setback

Lord, we found out today that neither of the embryos from the last cycle are without issues.  So, that leaves us with just the one from the first cycle.  To say the least, this is a major setback, not just to the process, but to our already unstable, immature hope.  This has become unbelievably scary and confusing.  We are literally putting all of our eggs in one basket.  I am not concerned with whether You can or will make something of that one.  I still believe in Your promise and Your awesome power.  But I would be lying if I said I wasn't warring against my humanity.  I'm scared.  I wanted to have unshakable faith, but I'm scared.  So, I'm bringing it to You.  Bring me peace.  Let me feel that You're still with me.  And not just me, but my wife too.  We need You more than ever.

I'm trying not to think too far ahead, but I know we had our hearts set on at least two.  Which now seems like a distant possibility now.  But those conversations are going to come up, and we're going to need Your guidance.  I know You have a plan and that we may not get to see it all now, but help us stay focused on You.  I know that what You do is better...I know it, but sometimes it's hard to accept in the midst of it all.  Please draw us closer to You and each other.  Help us endure.