Dada of Convenience

Lately, Troy has been back to pushing me away in favor of my wife. Every rejection is hurtful; a slap across an already raw bruise. I’m not sure if it’s because my wife isn’t working anymore, so he’s finally had her undivided attention more, and he’s trying to latch onto that, so it doesn’t go away again. Or if it’s because I’ve been sick the last week, so I’ve been trying to stay away to keep him from getting sick too.

Whatever it is, things have shifted. I haven’t been able to play with him like I used to because of my knee, and now throw this rejection on top of it. The saddest part is that my wife seems to find his clinginess more of an inconvenient annoyance than the blessing that it is. It’s true that you never have a moment’s peace, but one day all you’ll have is peace, and you’ll wish for a little curly head to pop into the bathroom and talk to you.

Maybe what we both need is just some balance. Sometimes you’re the chosen one, sometimes you’re not. With Troy, it’s all or nothing. We can’t really function as a team, because he wants a duet and then that other guy. And when I’m that other guy, I’m not allowed to do even the simplest thing like dry him off after his bath, or comb his hair, or read him a book. All I hear through the repeated screaming is, “No! Mama can do it!”