Kiss a Frog's Backside

Gammy: “Be careful with that wand, Troy. You don’t want to turn your dada into a frog…at least not while he’s driving.”
Me: “That brings up an interesting question, Troy. If I was turned into a frog, and the only way to turn me back was to lick me, would you do it?”
Troy: “Ewww, no! You don’t lick frogs! You kiss them! True love’s kiss, so it would have to be mama kissing you.”
Me: “So, you’d pawn off turning me back onto mama, and make her kiss me?!”
Troy [laughing]: “Yep!”
Me: “Okay, let’s say for a minute that it was a kiss, and not a lick, but you’d have to kiss my bum instead of my lips. Would you do it?”
Troy: “Yes.”
Me: “Really?”
Troy: “Yes. Wouldn’t you kiss my bum to run me back?”
Me: “Absolutely not! I’m not kissing or licking a frog! But I’d build you a nice terrarium and train you to be a racing frog.”
Troy: “I can’t believe you wouldn’t lick my bum! I would never race for you!”