It’s Labor Day weekend, and we needed some way to entertain Troy for the extended days. We tried to arrange a play date with some of his friends, but everyone was either leaving town or had some excuse as to why they couldn’t get together. Besides that, the weather was forecasting thunderstorms all weekend, which meant we needed an inside activity. So, we came up with something we’d never done before. We took a ride on the Grapevine Vintage Railroad.
The trip we took, the Cotton Belt Route, took us from Grapevine to Fort Worth. We opted for the Touring Class car, which had floor-to-ceiling, picturesque windows and air conditioning. Even though the storms had brought weather in the upper seventies/lower eighties, it’s still August in Texas, so air conditioning was a must! The train cars were the original, one hundred-year old cars, restored to look like they might have looked in the 1800s. We had two reversible, bench seats with maroon faux leather on them, which offered enough leg room to comfortably sit across from each other. The train car was about half full, which meant that we weren’t too crowded, so people moved around and tried out different views during the journey. They served refreshments in our car, for a price of course, of sodas, water, Gatorade, cookies, nuts, and popcorn. There was also a bar somewhere on the train, as several people opted for alcohol instead.
The trip to Fort Worth was a nice, slow ambling ride. We had to stop several times for other trains to pass, so it took over two hours to get there. The train itself was cool, creaking and rattling as it swayed and rocked along the tracks. The view on the way wasn’t much to look at, though, as the tracks passed by warehouses, neighborhoods, schools, parks, and industrial yards. The attendant in our car tried to liven things up a bit by giving us information about trains and the history of the route we were taking, but still it was kind of blah. The provided a skit show for entertainment, where actors in period dress reenacted a train robbery by randomly showing up in the car for a short time before disappearing off into the train again. It was fun, but it would have been better had they interacted with the patrons more, especially the kids.
For Troy, the thrill of the train ride wore off about ten minutes after we left the station. After that, he was fidgety and bored. In hindsight, I probably should have taken him walking along the train, so he could have explored the other cars, but I was enjoying the train ride. Instead, I had to put up with him complaining the entire time, while my wife took a nap.
The train took us right in to the Fort Worth Stockyards. We then had two hours to explore before we had to reboard. The stockyards were packed with people from different cultures, colors, and countries. Most were dressed up like city cowboys and cowgirls with cowboy hats and boots too clean to be used for any practical purpose. I guess everyone thinks that you should look the part when going to a place like this, and there were plenty of shops willing to sell you everything you needed to pull it off.
Besides the shopping, there was also a mechanical bull that you could ride, a cow chute maze, a petting zoo, horse-drawn wagon rides, and photo ops with longhorns. Troy wanted to go straight to the petting zoo, which consisted of a pen of goats, sheep, pigs, and a highland cow. We bought a cup of food pellets, and Troy spent his time walking around making sure that every single animal got an equal share of the food. He told me later that he was a little disappointed that he could only feed the animals through the bars of the pen, instead of being in their space with them. I think I he was remembering our trip to Arkansas, where you could get into the pen with the goats and pet them.
I didn’t mind, though. I actually had a great time at the petting zoo. I didn’t want to take Troy’s limited food supply, so I walked around picking up discarded food pellets off the ground. I was able to get enough to feed just about everyone more than once. It was fun to have the goats and sheep snuffle the food out of your open palm. I didn’t try that with the pig. I told her to open her mouth, which surprisingly she did, and I dropped the pellets straight in. There were a few greedy goats that were shoving the others out of the way, so I made them give me a goat high five (Troy called it the high hoof, because they don’t have five fingers) or climb up to the top of the fence to get their reward. If they were going to be mean, then they’d have to work for it. But my absolute favorite part was this one large black goat that didn’t want the food I offered her. She just wanted to be pet. So, I obliged. I stroked her cheeks, the spot between her horns, her neck and shoulders, along her back, and down her sides. And when I was done, I did it all again, over and over. She stood there, completely calm, with her eyes closed just enjoying the love. When I finally stopped, she slowly opened her eyes and snuffled my hand, so I gave her a few pellets of food, which she calmly accepted.
As I was trying to wrangle Troy out of the pen, I saw something truly beautiful. He was standing with a little girl, maybe eighteen to twenty-four months old, assuring her that the goats wouldn’t hurt her. He then gave her some of his food pellets (her parents opted not to buy a food cup) and showed her how to feed the animals. It was so very sweet, and she laughed when the goats tickled her hands with their lips. Troy just calmly handed her pellet after pellet, so she could keep enjoying the experience. Sometimes my son is a selfish brat, and then sometimes he’s like this…unexpectedly tender and sweet. He never ceases to amaze me. We had to go, so he gave the little girl his food cup, which was about half full still, so she could continue to interact with the animals. But he showed her one more time how to hold the food in her hands, so she didn’t get bitten. As we walked away, I heard her mother say, “Okay, let’s do what he said. Open your hand up and put the food in your palm. Now, hold your hand out and let them eat it.”
We hurried out of the petting zoo, so we could line up along the street for the iconic passing of the Fort Worth Herd, which consists of 17 enormous longhorn steers with horns that curl and twist out to an astounding ten feet from tip to tip. They drive the cattle down the main street twice a day, and hundreds of people line up to watch them. The longhorns were truly an awesome site in dappled shades of brown, red, black, and white. Moments after they passed by, the sky finally opened up, and rain started to pour down. So, everyone scampered for cover, cramming into the large covered space around the railroad depot.
We made our way to the opposite end for the gunfight that was supposed to be taking place. It consisted of a sheriff and his deputy taking on two prison escapees. There were some humorous moments in the skit, but it was a little too drawn out especially when you’re crammed into a hot, humid place with fifty other people. Troy actually got bored halfway through, and he wasn’t the only one. Some people started to drift off, while others started up conversations in the middle of it. It became distracting and hard to hear. All in all, probably not something we’d do again.
Our train was supposed to be boarding soon after the gunfight, so we made our way to the boarding platform and waited…and waited…and waited…and waited. Finally, someone from the railroad came by and told us that the train was delayed for repairs. Apparently, the electrical system had gone out and they had no air conditioning, fans, or working toilets. So, we waited some more, which was miserable because the heat and humidity had risen, and there was zero breeze blowing through the crowded depot. My wife was about to die. She was sweating profusely, and she actually started to break out into a heat rash.
When the train finally arrived, we were informed that they were unable to get the electricity working. So, we were directed to an alternate car that had windows that could open to let in some breeze. It’s a small help when the air blowing in is hot and humid. It’s an even a smaller help when the window next to you won’t open (which is what happened to me), and you get no air at all. I could have changed seats to sit next to my family, since both of the windows next to them were open, but my wife was stretched out snoozing, and I didn’t want to disturb her. With the breeze blowing on her face, she was finally returning to the correct color. Troy didn’t complain once on the entire return trip. Of course, I had to give up my phone, so he could play games on it to keep him distracted. The staff tried to make light of the inconvenience by describing it like actual railroad travel back in the 1800s, but that did little to ease the migraine coursing through my head. They did give us complimentary drinks as a sort of appeasement. They also played out the rest of the train robbery skit, but I think most people were too hot to care.
Despite the air conditioning mishap, it was still an enjoyable adventure. I’d definitely recommend it. It was nice to be able to explore the stockyards without having to fight the traffic or find a place to park. And it might be more pleasant at a different time of the year. Troy did ask to go back to the stockyards again, but he asked if this time we could take the car!
Sunday, August 31, 2025
Saturday, August 30, 2025
The Force of a Sandal
Troy: “I still don’t believe that you have the Force or that you’re using it to close the refrigerator door. You’re pushing it with your hand, and it’s already closing as you walk away.”
Me: “Fine. I see you are a true skeptic, and you need more concrete proof. So, I’m going to show you once and for all in a way that will leave no room for doubt. There, the refrigerator door is open, and it’s not moving. I’m going to walk away, and you see that’s it still standing still. Agreed?”
Troy [suspicious]: “Yeeees.”
Me: “So, you agree that if I can close it from way over here without touching it, then I have the Force? And you’ll stop denying my power?”
Troy: “Sure. If you can do it without touching it.”
Me [holding up my hands and aiming them at the door]: “I just have to concentrate, feel the Force, and direct it.”
…I kick my sandal off my foot and hit the refrigerator door with it. The door starts to slowly move until it slams closed…
Me [turning and smiling triumphantly at my son]: “Ha! I told you that I had the Force! I closed it without touching it. You agreed.”
Troy: “The only Force you have is the Force of the sandal. I’m not agreeing to anything.”
Me: “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
Me: “Fine. I see you are a true skeptic, and you need more concrete proof. So, I’m going to show you once and for all in a way that will leave no room for doubt. There, the refrigerator door is open, and it’s not moving. I’m going to walk away, and you see that’s it still standing still. Agreed?”
Troy [suspicious]: “Yeeees.”
Me: “So, you agree that if I can close it from way over here without touching it, then I have the Force? And you’ll stop denying my power?”
Troy: “Sure. If you can do it without touching it.”
Me [holding up my hands and aiming them at the door]: “I just have to concentrate, feel the Force, and direct it.”
…I kick my sandal off my foot and hit the refrigerator door with it. The door starts to slowly move until it slams closed…
Me [turning and smiling triumphantly at my son]: “Ha! I told you that I had the Force! I closed it without touching it. You agreed.”
Troy: “The only Force you have is the Force of the sandal. I’m not agreeing to anything.”
Me: “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
Monday, August 25, 2025
Picture Day: First Grade
They had picture day way early this year, which was surprising. I didn't have time to clean up Troy's hair, so we just plastered it down with water. I'll have to update this post when I get the official pictures, but I did manage to take one of my own before he walked out of the house.
For some reason, this year, he's decided that it's cool to button his shirt all the way up to the top, so that's the look he went with. He was also covered with bandages, because he fell on the concrete yesterday and skinned both of his knees and his elbow. But maybe those won't make it into the picture.
Sunday, August 24, 2025
Spider Overlords
Me: “I don’t have any qualms about killing a spider because they have like 500 babies. So, they’re still ahead of the curve by 499 spiders. I mean at the rate they reproduce, they’ll outnumber humans in no time. Pretty soon, we’ll be bowing down to the spider overlords.”
Troy: “Spiders could never take over the world.”
Me: “Why is that?”
Troy: “Because birds would just eat them!”
Me: “What about those bird-eating spiders? They could grow and evolve to form a fighting force to protect the colony against the birds.”
Troy: “Even if, you’d still have snakes, frogs, lizards, and things like that that eat them.”
Me: “Then, you have tarantulas that would defend against those. It’s like in an army, where you have archers, pikemen, infantry, and calvary men. Each group has a special purpose. So, the spider army would have specialized groups of spiders for each type of threat.”
Troy: “There would still be one threat that they couldn’t fight.”
Me: “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
Troy: “A shoe!”
Me [laughing]: “I guess there is that.”
Troy: “Spiders could never take over the world.”
Me: “Why is that?”
Troy: “Because birds would just eat them!”
Me: “What about those bird-eating spiders? They could grow and evolve to form a fighting force to protect the colony against the birds.”
Troy: “Even if, you’d still have snakes, frogs, lizards, and things like that that eat them.”
Me: “Then, you have tarantulas that would defend against those. It’s like in an army, where you have archers, pikemen, infantry, and calvary men. Each group has a special purpose. So, the spider army would have specialized groups of spiders for each type of threat.”
Troy: “There would still be one threat that they couldn’t fight.”
Me: “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
Troy: “A shoe!”
Me [laughing]: “I guess there is that.”
Wednesday, August 20, 2025
Golfing Geese
Me: “That’s crazy, Troy. There’s a goose over there playing golf.”
Troy: “He’s not playing golf! He’s eating on a golf course!”
Me: “Hmmm. What do you think he’s eating?”
Troy: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Probably bugs and worms. The rain brings that stuff out. I just hope he doesn’t eat a stink bug.”
Troy: “Yeah, then he’ll have stinky breath, and none of the other geese will want him around.”
Me [laughing]: “Well, I was thinking more about how bad that would taste, but I never thought about it giving them bad breath too.”
Troy: “He’s not playing golf! He’s eating on a golf course!”
Me: “Hmmm. What do you think he’s eating?”
Troy: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Probably bugs and worms. The rain brings that stuff out. I just hope he doesn’t eat a stink bug.”
Troy: “Yeah, then he’ll have stinky breath, and none of the other geese will want him around.”
Me [laughing]: “Well, I was thinking more about how bad that would taste, but I never thought about it giving them bad breath too.”
Tuesday, August 19, 2025
First Day of 1st Grade
Today was Troy's first day in first grade (that's a mouthful!) at Liberty Christian...or half day, I should say. They're easing the kids (and probably the teachers too) back into school this week by doing a couple of half days before going full time on Thursday. Troy was a little better this year than last, mostly because he knew what to expect. He didn't fight us about the uniform or tucking the shirt...in fact, he did it all on his own! I have to say that we were better prepared this year too...at least for the getting out of the house on time part. I still forgot to take his picture on the first day again. My wife saved me by taking it at school though.
We had gone to meet the teacher, Mrs. Raines, yesterday, who ended up being the sister of his teacher from last year. And of all of the things that Troy could have said to break the ice with her, the fact that she was the sister to Mrs. Dow was the one thing he decided to bring up. She was cool with it, though. She seems nice, so hopefully he has a good year with her.
The only sad part is that they mix the kids up and reshuffle the classrooms, so he's not in the same class as any of the friends that he made from last year. There are a couple of people from his old class, but nobody that he was particularly close to. Oh well, I guess he can make some new friends. The best part is that he's not in class with Brayden M., the kid that bullied him mercilessly last year. So, small blessings.
Dad Jokes
Troy: “Dada, this piece of fuzz came in the car and tried to attack me!”
Me: “That must have been the same fuzz that hit me in the head.”
Troy: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah, it hit me in the head, then it slid around and stuck to my ear. I guess when it finally let loose, it came after you.”
Troy: “Why did it stick to your ear?”
Me: “I don’t know. I guess it just likes to ear-i-tate me. Get it? Because it’s my ear?”
Troy [looking at me with zero expression on his face]: “…”
Me: “I know you really want to smile right now. If your mouth wasn’t sore, you’d be cracking up.”
Troy: “No.”
Me: “That must have been the same fuzz that hit me in the head.”
Troy: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah, it hit me in the head, then it slid around and stuck to my ear. I guess when it finally let loose, it came after you.”
Troy: “Why did it stick to your ear?”
Me: “I don’t know. I guess it just likes to ear-i-tate me. Get it? Because it’s my ear?”
Troy [looking at me with zero expression on his face]: “…”
Me: “I know you really want to smile right now. If your mouth wasn’t sore, you’d be cracking up.”
Troy: “No.”
Monday, August 18, 2025
The Tongue Arm
Troy: “Hey, dada, look at this. He has an arm coming out of his mouth.”
Me: “What?! That’s crazy! Did he swallow it?”
Troy: “No, that’s his own arm.”
Me: “Is this like one of those situations where he’s hitting himself in the face? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” [slapping myself in the face]
Troy: “No, it’s his tongue.”
Me: “Ewww gross! So, when he goes to lick someone, he grabs them instead?! Oh my gosh, can you imagine if you had an arm for a tongue, especially with the way you like to lick people when you kiss them?! You wouldn’t even have to lick your finger before sticking it in my ear. You could just stick your tongue finger straight in! Gross!”
Troy: “You know, sometimes you’re kind of weird.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Me: “What?! That’s crazy! Did he swallow it?”
Troy: “No, that’s his own arm.”
Me: “Is this like one of those situations where he’s hitting himself in the face? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?” [slapping myself in the face]
Troy: “No, it’s his tongue.”
Me: “Ewww gross! So, when he goes to lick someone, he grabs them instead?! Oh my gosh, can you imagine if you had an arm for a tongue, especially with the way you like to lick people when you kiss them?! You wouldn’t even have to lick your finger before sticking it in my ear. You could just stick your tongue finger straight in! Gross!”
Troy: “You know, sometimes you’re kind of weird.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Now, That's How You Greet Me!
Roz: “Troy! Troy is here! Yeah, hi, Troy!”
Ella [hanging over the door]: “Troy! Troy! Hi, Troy!”
Troy walks through the door and both girls hug him and start dancing.
Me: “I wish I was greeted like that everywhere I went.”
Teacher: “Me too.”
Me: “Instead I get, ‘Oh, crap..he’s here.’”
Ella [hanging over the door]: “Troy! Troy! Hi, Troy!”
Troy walks through the door and both girls hug him and start dancing.
Me: “I wish I was greeted like that everywhere I went.”
Teacher: “Me too.”
Me: “Instead I get, ‘Oh, crap..he’s here.’”
Saturday, August 16, 2025
Institute for Creation Research
Today, we went to the Institute for Creation Research. It’s a place that teaches how science confirms the Bible rather than contradicts it. It also has a planetarium, which is where we started. We watched a show on the creation of the Earth and a show about deep space (that was my wife’s choice). The two of us enjoyed it, but Troy was bored. He was antsy the entire time, flopping all over his chair and then ultimately lying across my lap.
After that, we went into the hall of science, which had paintings of famous Christian scientists, like Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Michael Faraday, Robert Boyle, Johannes Kepler, and Lord Kelvin. But the coolest part was when the paintings started moving and then talking. They shared how science doesn’t disprove God but instead helps us understand the world that created it. They did this by having a conversation with each other across the room, turning to look at whichever painting was talking at the time. It was so cool that we watched it twice.
After that, we wound our way through the exhibit. Troy loved how they included dinosaurs in early Christian history, like in the Garden of Eden or on Noah’s ark. Noah’s ark was cool. They had a scaled down model, and then they had a life-sized recreation of a single room on the ark that you could walk through. One of the pens had Velociraptors across from a pen of lions. Their supposition was that God sent Noah baby animals, including dinosaurs, which is how they accommodated so many animals in a small space. Then, the animals grew and matured before mating.
Finally, we went through an exhibit that showed how science supports famous Biblical stories, like evidence for the Flood or the Tower of Babel. And finally we ended by walking through a diorama of the life of Christ. All in all, it was a great way to spend the afternoon.
After that, we went into the hall of science, which had paintings of famous Christian scientists, like Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur, Michael Faraday, Robert Boyle, Johannes Kepler, and Lord Kelvin. But the coolest part was when the paintings started moving and then talking. They shared how science doesn’t disprove God but instead helps us understand the world that created it. They did this by having a conversation with each other across the room, turning to look at whichever painting was talking at the time. It was so cool that we watched it twice.
After that, we wound our way through the exhibit. Troy loved how they included dinosaurs in early Christian history, like in the Garden of Eden or on Noah’s ark. Noah’s ark was cool. They had a scaled down model, and then they had a life-sized recreation of a single room on the ark that you could walk through. One of the pens had Velociraptors across from a pen of lions. Their supposition was that God sent Noah baby animals, including dinosaurs, which is how they accommodated so many animals in a small space. Then, the animals grew and matured before mating.
Finally, we went through an exhibit that showed how science supports famous Biblical stories, like evidence for the Flood or the Tower of Babel. And finally we ended by walking through a diorama of the life of Christ. All in all, it was a great way to spend the afternoon.
Monday, August 11, 2025
Bolder Adventure Park
My brother-in-law and his wife are visiting for a few days, so we decided to try out Bolder Adventure Park today. We were looking for something active and fun to do indoors to avoid the blazing 100+ degree weather outside, and it delivered. We bought the middle package, which let us do everything but rock climbing, zip lining, and the ropes course…none of which Troy would have wanted to do anyway. But there was enough to do with that package to keep us entertained for four hours.
The first thing Troy wanted to check out was the net course, which was a series of obstacles enclosed in cargo nets. You had to climb up net bridges, walk across thin swinging boards, and crawl through net tubes that arched up and over…all while being some 20 or 30 feet off the ground. It was a virtual playground fit for a monkey, and he absolutely loved flying through the obstacles. Of course, he couldn’t do it alone, so I was conscripted to do it with him. And while I did fit through the obstacles, I didn’t go through them nearly as quickly or as spryly as he did. But it was an amazing workout!
After the net course, we decided to check out the giant tube slide, which consisted of careening down a giant slide some 30 feet in an inner tube. Troy and I even managed to get my brother-in-law and sister-in-law to try it. The slide was actually a series of plastic bristles that allowed the tubes to glide across them and reduce friction. Essentially, the bristles allowed you to reach breakneck speeds while careening at an impossible angle toward the floor. And it was amazing! I’m actually surprised that Troy even wanted to do it, but more surprised that he wanted to do it again…and again…and again. Honestly, the worst part of the experience wasn’t the slide itself, but the stair tower that you had to climb to get up to the start of the slide. Which was made even worse when Troy’s little legs started to get tired, and he insisted that I carry him on my back up the tower. And then it was back to the net course.
After that, we enlisted everyone, even my wife, who was doing her best to avoid all activity by using the excuse that she was the official photographer, to play a form of laser tag. It was more like a cross between laser tag and paintball. You used compression guns to fire foam balls at targets or your opponent’s vest to score points. My wife, my son, and I were on one team, and my brother-in-law and his wife were on the other. Everyone had a blast, focusing more on shooting each other than the targets. And then it was back to the net course.
The last thing that we tried was the bumper cars, which were giant donut-shaped cars that you could ram into each other. If you hit your opponent’s car in just the right spot, you could make their car lose control and go spinning in circles. My son, sister-in-law, and I decided to give it a try. I have to say that they were both ruthless. I spent the entire time spinning out of control, because they were both taking me! And if they weren’t hitting me, then I was bumping into the rail on the side to get away from them and spinning myself out of control. We all had a lot of fun. And then it was back to the net course.
My entire body was sore at this point from chasing Troy around the net course. I was also hot and tired. Even the industrial fans they had along the walls, which had enough force to blow you backwards, weren’t keeping me cool enough. But still Troy found the energy to keep playing. We spent the remaining time, alternating between the net course, giant slide, and bumper cars. That is until my poor body couldn’t take it anymore. But Troy and I were the last ones standing. Everyone else had given up long before we finally threw in the towels. And on the bonus side, Troy was out like a light tonight. He actually wanted to go to bed! So, I guess we finally wore him out. Now, I’m going to go take a half a bottle of ibuprofen and go to bed myself.
The first thing Troy wanted to check out was the net course, which was a series of obstacles enclosed in cargo nets. You had to climb up net bridges, walk across thin swinging boards, and crawl through net tubes that arched up and over…all while being some 20 or 30 feet off the ground. It was a virtual playground fit for a monkey, and he absolutely loved flying through the obstacles. Of course, he couldn’t do it alone, so I was conscripted to do it with him. And while I did fit through the obstacles, I didn’t go through them nearly as quickly or as spryly as he did. But it was an amazing workout!
After the net course, we decided to check out the giant tube slide, which consisted of careening down a giant slide some 30 feet in an inner tube. Troy and I even managed to get my brother-in-law and sister-in-law to try it. The slide was actually a series of plastic bristles that allowed the tubes to glide across them and reduce friction. Essentially, the bristles allowed you to reach breakneck speeds while careening at an impossible angle toward the floor. And it was amazing! I’m actually surprised that Troy even wanted to do it, but more surprised that he wanted to do it again…and again…and again. Honestly, the worst part of the experience wasn’t the slide itself, but the stair tower that you had to climb to get up to the start of the slide. Which was made even worse when Troy’s little legs started to get tired, and he insisted that I carry him on my back up the tower. And then it was back to the net course.
After that, we enlisted everyone, even my wife, who was doing her best to avoid all activity by using the excuse that she was the official photographer, to play a form of laser tag. It was more like a cross between laser tag and paintball. You used compression guns to fire foam balls at targets or your opponent’s vest to score points. My wife, my son, and I were on one team, and my brother-in-law and his wife were on the other. Everyone had a blast, focusing more on shooting each other than the targets. And then it was back to the net course.
The last thing that we tried was the bumper cars, which were giant donut-shaped cars that you could ram into each other. If you hit your opponent’s car in just the right spot, you could make their car lose control and go spinning in circles. My son, sister-in-law, and I decided to give it a try. I have to say that they were both ruthless. I spent the entire time spinning out of control, because they were both taking me! And if they weren’t hitting me, then I was bumping into the rail on the side to get away from them and spinning myself out of control. We all had a lot of fun. And then it was back to the net course.
My entire body was sore at this point from chasing Troy around the net course. I was also hot and tired. Even the industrial fans they had along the walls, which had enough force to blow you backwards, weren’t keeping me cool enough. But still Troy found the energy to keep playing. We spent the remaining time, alternating between the net course, giant slide, and bumper cars. That is until my poor body couldn’t take it anymore. But Troy and I were the last ones standing. Everyone else had given up long before we finally threw in the towels. And on the bonus side, Troy was out like a light tonight. He actually wanted to go to bed! So, I guess we finally wore him out. Now, I’m going to go take a half a bottle of ibuprofen and go to bed myself.
Saturday, August 9, 2025
It's What Plants Crave
Me: “Did you see that I have revived your plant?”
My Wife: “Yes, it’s looking great!”
Me [backing up to the plant and flatulating on it]: “…”
My Wife [outraged]: “What the heck did you just do to my poor plant?!”
Me: “What? It likes it. I do that all the time. Why do you think it’s looking so good?”
My Wife: “Are you serious?! Stop doing that to my plant! It does not like it!”
Me: “I mean occasionally it will put a leaf over its nose, but usually it just soaks it in.”
Troy [cracking up laughing ]: “That was hilarious. I can’t believe dada farted on your plant.”
My Wife: “Stop laughing! It’s not funny! He’s going to kill it!”
Me: “Nah, I’m testing out a theory that plants will thrive in an environment rich in flatulence, and if the experiment goes well, then I’m going to apply for funding.”
My Wife: “Methane?!”
Me: “Well, what do you put in plants as a fertilizer?”
My Wife: “Manure.”
Me: “Same concept.”
My Wife: “Stop farting on my plants!”
Troy: “Ha, ha, ha, ha…”
My Wife: “Yes, it’s looking great!”
Me [backing up to the plant and flatulating on it]: “…”
My Wife [outraged]: “What the heck did you just do to my poor plant?!”
Me: “What? It likes it. I do that all the time. Why do you think it’s looking so good?”
My Wife: “Are you serious?! Stop doing that to my plant! It does not like it!”
Me: “I mean occasionally it will put a leaf over its nose, but usually it just soaks it in.”
Troy [cracking up laughing ]: “That was hilarious. I can’t believe dada farted on your plant.”
My Wife: “Stop laughing! It’s not funny! He’s going to kill it!”
Me: “Nah, I’m testing out a theory that plants will thrive in an environment rich in flatulence, and if the experiment goes well, then I’m going to apply for funding.”
My Wife: “Methane?!”
Me: “Well, what do you put in plants as a fertilizer?”
My Wife: “Manure.”
Me: “Same concept.”
My Wife: “Stop farting on my plants!”
Troy: “Ha, ha, ha, ha…”
Friday, August 8, 2025
Tooth Fairy: Part 5
Took a few weeks, but Troy finally lost another tooth. He's got little holes here and there, but the other teeth are growing in just as fast, so the holes don't last very long.
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