It's What Plants Crave

Me: “Did you see that I have revived your plant?”
My Wife: “Yes, it’s looking great!”
Me [backing up to the plant and flatulating on it]: “…”
My Wife [outraged]: “What the heck did you just do to my poor plant?!”
Me: “What? It likes it. I do that all the time. Why do you think it’s looking so good?”
My Wife: “Are you serious?! Stop doing that to my plant! It does not like it!”
Me: “I mean occasionally it will put a leaf over its nose, but usually it just soaks it in.”
Troy [cracking up laughing ]: “That was hilarious. I can’t believe dada farted on your plant.”
My Wife: “Stop laughing! It’s not funny! He’s going to kill it!”
Me: “Nah, I’m testing out a theory that plants will thrive in an environment rich in flatulence, and if the experiment goes well, then I’m going to apply for funding.”
My Wife: “Methane?!”
Me: “Well, what do you put in plants as a fertilizer?”
My Wife: “Manure.”
Me: “Same concept.”
My Wife: “Stop farting on my plants!”
Troy: “Ha, ha, ha, ha…”