The White Knight

Today was a warm, beautiful day; almost more like Fall than winter. So, I decided to take Troy out on a hike through the woods near our house. As we plodded down the trail, I spotted a horse’s hoof print in the hard ground, and I pointed it out to Troy. Soon, we found others, and the adventure began.

Troy’s imagination took over, and he began to tell me a story about a good knight riding through the forest on his white horse on his way to face an earth giant who was ravaging the woods. While his quest was to find the earth giant, ours was to find the knight and to help him. So, we followed his horse’s tracks, choosing our path based on which way the hoof prints led.

And we looked for other signs of his passing, like broken branches that he’d cut with his sword to clear the path of “pokies” for other travelers like ourselves. Or white paint he’d left on a tree to let others know that he’d passed this way. But we were startled to find a pair of black “gauntlets” and a torn “chainmail” shirt on the ground near the trail. A white knight wouldn’t wear black gloves, so there must have been a second knight pursuing the first. And this one was a bad guy. We had to hurry. The white knight was in danger!

We quickened our pace, continuing to follow the hoof prints. Now, we could clearly see the passing of multiple horses. We found some fresher tracks in the wet mud near a creek, and we knew that we were catching up. The path kept winding its way through the forest, and at every feature Troy would tell me a story about the white knight. A farmhouse was where the white knight had spent the night to give his horse a rest, and the black knight had stayed there too later on. A fallen tree was cut down to block the path, so the black knight couldn’t follow. But the black knight was too smart, and he rode around the tree. A gulch where several creeks combined was where the white knight had ridden to hide his tracks and throw off the black knight. But his tracks had merged back with the main trail further down, and the black knight was able to follow once again.

At some point, we became discouraged that we were too far behind and would never catch up. Suddenly, Troy stumbled upon…or almost into…a pile of semi-fresh horse droppings. This new discovery renewed our vigor and urgency, and we raced along with fresh legs. The path continued to follow Hickory Creek, and I began to worry that I didn’t bring any food or water with us. I honestly wasn’t expecting Troy to make it this far or to want to keep going. I urged him to give up his quest and turn back, but he wouldn’t be dissuaded. He kept saying that we needed to find the white knight.

Finally, my bum knee couldn’t go any further, and I told Troy that we had to stop. He was not happy with me at all, but he reluctantly agreed. We turned back, walked about ten feet, and Troy stopped. He turned to me and said that he was too tired to walk back. He asked me to carry him instead, and this was exactly what I had been afraid of. But I picked him up and put him on my shoulders anyway, and I walked down that now very long and daunting trail.

The going was a bit faster since we didn’t have to stop and examine every broken branch, rock, or leaf on the trail; but my knee and shoulders were throbbing. Troy continued to orate the story of the knight to me as we went. Somewhere along the way, the black knight had acquired a wolf (this after we saw a dog’s paw print in the soil), and it suddenly made sense how he was able to track the white knight despite that knight’s attempts to throw his pursuer off his trail. The white knight had doubled back, just like we had, and had circled around behind the black knight. The tracks suddenly appeared to be heading in the opposite direction, and Troy was convinced that turning around had been the right decision all along.

It occurred to me as I navigated the trail with Troy on my shoulders that I very much resembled a horse. I looked up at Troy, his noble face outlined against the blue sky above, and I was taken aback by how much he looked like a knight riding on his loyal steed; his face fresh and excited with adventure. As I thought about this imagery, I realized that we had accomplished our quest after all. We had found the white knight and his horse. They had been with us every step of the way. The heart of a knight was always inside my son. We just had to find it…out here in the woods.

Enchanted

The city of Dallas puts on a festival of lights each year in Fair Park called Enchant. It’s a giant display of Christmas lights and oversized ornaments. It has a maze of lights, ice skating, a food and artisan village, and visits with Santa Claus.

We decided to check it out while my mom was in town. We invited Troy’s girl friends too, but neither could make it. The worst part was the number of people. We stood in line for half an hour just waiting to get through security. Then, we fought the crowds of people everywhere we went. We couldn’t even find a table to have some food. Luckily, a nice family let us sit with them.

We didn’t do the ice skating or shop at any of the vendors. We spent the majority of the time in the maze, which was pretty cool. They had different sections with different themes. So you could walk through lighted tunnels with dangling lights, high five a giant lighted T-Rex, gape in awe of the myriad of giant lighted ornaments, stand inside a massive lighted Christmas tree, or interact with a dozen huge lighted toys. In case you missed it, there were lights…lights…and more lights.

But Troy’s favorite part wasn’t any of that. To our immense surprise, he thoroughly enjoyed the sausage on a stick. He attacked that thing with the ferocity of a half-starved wolf. And somehow, he still had room to eat most of the funnel cake we procured too!

Troy spent the majority of the time on my shoulders, so he could both reach more things and look around without having to worry about bumping into people or things. Other than carrying 45 lbs around all night, it was nice for me too, so I could enjoy all of the sights instead of constantly wondering where he was.

All in all, I’m not sure it was worth the money. It was a nice experience once, but I’m not sure I’d do it again. There wasn’t really enough for kids to do.

Pooping in the Woods

Troy: “Gammy, we don’t poop in the woods.”

Gammy: “I wasn’t planning to.”

Troy: “Good, we don’t poop in the woods. We poop in the potty.”

Gammy: “That’s correct.”

Troy: “A dog does, but we don’t.”

Me: “Yeah, Mom, you remember that the next time you’re tempted to poop in the woods. We don’t do it.”

Gammy: “I wasn’t planning to!”

Me: “Good, don’t do it.”

Stupid Pee!

Troy was using the potty, and I was waiting for him to finish when all of a sudden I hear him say:

 

Troy: “Stupid pee!”

Me: [chuckling] “Why are you calling your pee stupid?”

Troy: “It peed in my face.”

Me: “Wait…what?”

Troy: “I called my pee stupid, so he peed in my face.”

Me: “I see.”

Troy: “Yeah, he’s stupid pee.”

Christmas Merry, Wish You I Do

We ended up with a pretty low-key Christmas this year. My mom came up and spent the week with us, which has been fun. And my sister was able to stop by for a bit before heading off to deliver food to those less fortunate. Nobody else we invited was able to make it.

We decided this year not to overwhelm Troy with the experience like we did last year. So, we’ve been letting him open a gift every day for the last few days, and he’s been getting to enjoy and play with it immediately. We did the same thing today. We let him open a gift and play with it before moving on to the next gift. He seemed to enjoy that a lot better than just open and slide to the side. We also decided not to give him everything today, so he’s still got a few gifts under the tree that we’ll pull out over the next few days and weeks. We’re hoping it’ll help to prolong the Christmas experience for him.

This year was his first year believing in Santa Claus. He has actually visited several Santa Clauses over the last few weeks, and he was sure to reiterate each time what he wanted. Always the same thing…a fish game. And lo and behold if the old elf didn’t come through. Troy and my wife left dinosaur cookies and apple juice out for him last night, and by this morning both were gone and presents were left by the plate instead. And one of them was the fish game. Troy was so excited when he saw the gifts. He screamed, “Santa ate all the cookies and left presents!” I wouldn’t let him open them until my wife got up, so Troy went in and told her, “Mama it’s not time for sleeping anymore. It’s time to get up. Santa came, come see!”

Besides the fishing game, Troy also loved the Magic Ink book and zombie bowling set my mom gave him. He enjoyed the Play Doh hair salon my wife and I gave him. And he loved the Yoda parka and sleep set that my sister gave him. He even insisted on wearing the parka while he took his nap, Yoda ears sticking out and all!

We wrapped it up with a puzzle, some amazingly delicious food, a variety of tasty desserts, and a movie. And to top it all off, we even sang Happy Birthday to Jesus. It was a fantastic day.

Reindeer Poopie Cookies

Troy: “Dada, can I have a chocolate chip cookie?”

Me: “You can have a cookie, but it’s not chocolate chip.”

Troy: “Yes it is!”

Me: “No, it’s not. It’s reindeer poopie.”

Troy: “Really?”

Me: “What’s it taste like?”

Troy: “Chocolate.”

Me: “Huh, who knew that reindeer poopie tasted like chocolate.”

Troy: “Dada!”

Potty Training - Stage 1 - Complete

We realized today that Troy hasn’t really had a “wet himself” accident in a while now. And to be honest, the last one was because we forgot to put a diaper on him before he went to bed, and he peed during the night. So, that’s on us. But there’s been a couple of times that we have forgotten to do that before he goes to sleep, and he’s even able to hold it through the night. He’s also great about telling us he needs to go. He’ll stop whatever he’s doing and run to the potty.

I feel like stage 1 of potty training is complete. He can now control himself during the day. The next stage is now to get him to hold it all night, or to at least get up and go without wetting himself. We have actually switched to pull-ups at night to roll back the security a little bit. Some nights, he'll hold it all night, and some he'll pee until it's overflowing. It's hit or miss.

Mood Lead

It’s amazing how the house, and specifically Troy, will follow my “mood lead.” If I’m happy and playful, then my wife and Troy will be too. If I’m upset, then we’re in for a long night. After the recent incidents with Troy’s attitude, I have been making a bigger effort to be fun and playful with him. He has been much more obedient, less argumentative, and even more affectionate. I’ve always heard “a happy wife equals a happy life.” But I guess in this house it’s “a happy dada equals a happy…” Well, I can’t think of an appropriate word to rhyme with dada, but you get the point. Just proves my point, that I can’t ever get a sick day or have a bad day, because it’ll set Troy back weeks.

Temple

We got together with CC, his wife, his mother-in-law, and Declan today. It was sort of a combination late birthday for Declan and early Christmas, since they’ll be traveling over the holidays. We decided to meet in the middle and go to Temple, TX. We thought the kids might like to play a little before lunch, so we went to the Whistle Stop Playground, which is supposed to be a famous playground, because of its proximity to the train yard. Troy was his usual energetic self, flying over and around the equipment. Declan was a lot slower and more stationary. Troy tried to coax Declan to play with him, but he grew frustrated with how long it took Declan to climb even the simplest thing. So, I played with Troy, while Declan played with his mom and grandma.

After that, we went to the Bird Creek Burger Co. for lunch. The food and service were excellent. They had a variety of options to choose from, but Troy only wanted to eat the French fries. Declan on the other hand ate all of his food, part of his mom’s food, and part of his dad’s food. He probably would have eaten Troy’s leftovers too, if they hadn’t stopped him.

We only stayed for a few hours, a quick visit, but it was nice to see them all before the chaos of the holidays begins.

Unreasonable

Troy: “I went potty, dada.”

Me: “Great, bud. I’m running your bath.”

Troy: “NOOOO! I need to wash my hands first!”

Me: “Sure, let’s wash your hands, and then you can get in the bath.”

Troy: [washes hands] “I need to dry them off.”

Me: “There’s no point. You’re going in the bath. You’re just going to get wet again.”

Troy: “I NEED TO DRY MY HANDS!!!”

Me: “There’s no towel. Mama is washing it. I can’t dry your hands.”

Troy: “GO GET A TOWEL!!! I WANT TO DRY MY HANDS!!!”

Me: “I’m not going to get a towel, just to dry your hands off, so you can immediately get in the water and get your hands wet again.”

Troy: “GET IT!!! GET IT NOW!!!”

Me: “No.”

Troy: “I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!!”

Me: [bathing him while he stands in the corner shivering and refusing to get in the water] “I understand. I just don’t care. You can wait for mama over there, or you can wait under the warm water. It’s up to you. But she’s cooking dinner, so it’s going to be a while.”

Red Lining - Part 2

Me: “Okay, let’s put your coat on. Mama is waiting in the car already.”

Troy: “I don’t WANT to put the coat on!”

Me: “You have to, it’s very cold outside.”

Troy: “NO! I’m not going to go to school!”

Me: “You have to go to school. What are you going to do all day?”

Troy: “I want to stay home.”

Me: “You can’t stay home. Dada has to work. It’ll be more fun at school with your friends. So, let’s get your coat on so you can go.”

Troy: [sliding his arm in his coat and then immediately starting to cry] “My sleeve slid up! It’s not WORKING!!!”

Me: “It’s okay. It happens to everyone. You just have to hold it. I’ll show you.”

Troy: “NO! I want to do it MYSELF!!!”

Me: “Okay, do it then.”

Troy: “I can’t! It’s not working!”

Me: “Then, let me help you.”

Troy: “No! I can do it!”

Me: [me finally losing my patience] “Then, do it. Just hurry up. It shouldn’t take half an hour to put a coat on.”

Troy: [going into complete meltdown, ripping the coat off, and throwing it across the room] “IT’S NOT WORKING!!!”

Me: “That’s because you’re not doing what I said. You have to hold it like this.”

Troy: “NO!!! I WANT MAMA!!!”

Me: “She’s going to tell you the same thing!”

Troy: “I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!!”

Me: “Well, she doesn’t want you right now! You’ve already made her mad too!”

Troy: “I WANT MAMA!!!”

My Wife: [coming back inside to figure out what’s taking so long] “What’s the hold-up?”

Me: “His sleeve is sliding up when he puts his arm in his coat, but he won’t hold it, and he won’t let me help. Now, he’s screaming for you.”

My Wife: “You have to hold it, baby. Let mama help you.”

Me: “I told you so.”

Troy: “NOOOOOO!!!”

Me: “Okay, enough of this nonsense. Hold him. I’m putting that coat on right now.”

I shove his arms into his coat, then reach through the hand hole to pull down his sleeves, while my wife holds him to keep him from pulling his arms out again. I zip up his coat and put on his hood.

 

Troy: [proceeding to unzip the coat and ripping his arms out of it again] “No, dada! Mama can do it!”

Me: [with menace] “Are you kidding me right now?! Then, let mama help you or go without a coat! I don’t even care anymore! But one way or another you’re leaving this house right now! I’ve had enough!”

Red Lining

Troy’s behavior lately has been off the charts disobedient. He’s testing his limits and our patience, and I’m sad to say that our patience is pretty much non-existent now. He cries about everything all the time. I think this is the thing that drives me most mad…the constant, incessant sobbing. And he’s unintelligible when he’s doing it, which makes it worse. Because if you can’t understand him, then he thinks that he needs to scream to get his point across. But screaming the most important word in a sentence makes it nearly impossible to understand the point of the sentence.

And so it escalates and escalates until he’s a screaming, slobbering mess. And then he starts to scream because he has “burgers” in his nose. And then he screams because he’s choking on snot. And then he screams because the choking makes him cough. The coughing makes him cry, and we’re in an endless loop.

And there’s no reasoning with him when he’s like this. He ceases to listen to you at all. He won’t answer questions, he won’t say things calmly so we can understand, he won’t allow himself to be comforted. In fact, he’s physically violent. He slaps, hits, kicks, pushes, and throws things. This crap will go on for over an hour, and my wife and I are just done. Both of us, ready to check out and leave. Used to be in the past that one of us would remain calm and step in when the other was past their limit. But with his current phase, neither of us can keep it together.

And I mean push us way past the red line. I was so mad at him this morning that I was physically shaking. I had so much negative adrenaline pumping through me that I couldn’t hold it all inside. And what did he do that drove me to that, you ask? He kept repeating one phrase over and over and over and over again. No matter what I asked him or tried to do for him, all he would do was push me away and scream, “I want mama.” But here’s the thing, he’d already made his mama so livid that she had to step outside to cool off. She didn’t want anything to do with him, which I tried to explain to him. But like I said, there was no reasoning with him.

It’s revealed an ugly side of both my wife and I that we don’t like. We’re going to have to try to find another way to handle this, because we can’t go on like this. It’s easy for the daycare teacher to sit there and say, “Stay calm. Don’t meet him where he’s at because it’ll just escalate the situation.” I’m not saying the logic isn’t sound, but it’s easier to say it than it is to live it.

The Wrong Door

When I was picking up Troy today from daycare, I ran into Misha and her mother on their way out. I gave Misha a hug, and she said, “You need to go pick up Troy.” I assured her that I would, and she went on to play with the security guard, while I talked to her mother. When we had finished talking, and they were preparing to go, I told Misha goodbye, and she replied, “Bye! Don’t forget to pick up Troy.” I assured her once again that I would, and then I headed into the bathroom before heading down the long hallway to his building.

The next thing I know, Misha pushed open the bathroom door and yelled, “Troy’s Dad, you went in the wrong door! He’s in the other door!” I could hear her mother outside telling Misha not to go into the bathroom with me. Misha stood there, door halfway open, and I could picture her exasperated hand gestures as she tried to explain to her mother what an incompetent moron that I am. “But he went in the wrong door. He’s supposed to go in that door over there! I need to show him.”

“Misha, leave him alone. Don’t go in that door. He needs some privacy,” was the reply.

“But that’s not where Troy is. That’s not where our class is.”

“He knows that, Misha. He’s going to the bathroom first. He’ll go down there afterward.”

“Oh. Okay.” And I finally heard the door close, and I was left in peace.

I Like You, Dada

Me: [handing Troy some cheesy bunnies]

Troy: “I like you, dada.”

Me: “Oh, it’s one of those days, eh?”

Troy: “Yeah.”

Get in My Belly!

Troy: “Dada, where is my gummy hamburger?”

Me: “I ate it.”

Troy: “No you didn’t! Give it to me!”

Me: “I ate it.”

Troy: “Where is it, dada?”

Me: “In my stomach, right behind my bellybutton at this point.”

Troy: “Dada! Give me my hamburger!”

Me: “I can’t. I ate it.”

Troy: “Well, toot it out! I want it!”

Me: …

Christmas at the Dallas Arboretum

Today, we took Troy to the Dallas Arboretum to see Santa Claus. They had decorated everything with lights and garland, and they had giant animatronic displays depicting the 12 Days of Christmas. They had also set up an entire village of houses, where the kids could go on a scavenger hunt to find animals in each house, while learning about Christmas in cultures all over the world. At the end of the village was Santa’s house, so we stood in a relatively short line, so Troy could tell him what he wanted for Christmas.

I had coached him at breakfast to put in some goodwill with the big man by asking him how he was doing, and to be sure to say please and thank you. I told Troy that it couldn’t hurt, since there had been a few occasions lately where he was borderline naughty. But Santa was pretty cool. He gave Troy a high-five, and he even was gracious enough to take a picture with my wife and I as well.

After visiting Santa and touring his village, we had a quick lunch before wandering around the Arboretum to look at the decorations. The two highlights were the Singing Christmas Tree and the koi pond. We had a hard time dragging Troy away from both. Amazingly, he actually enjoyed the 12 Days of Christmas displays with his favorites probably being the Maids a Milking, the Lords a Leaping, and the Pipers Piping.

As the day wound down, we went to the Children’s Adventure Park, which we didn’t realize was at the complete opposite end of the Arboretum. All in all, I wouldn’t say it was worth the extra money we had to pay to get in it. I’m not really even sure why it cost extra. Being able to walk under the waterfall was cool. And the staircase inside the tree was a neat touch. But beyond that, the hydro park was about it.

At the hydro park, kids could learn about ways that water has been used to create generators, pumps, and screws by giving them a hands-on way to experience it. They had water cannons, and levers, and things to turn and twist. I’m really not sure who enjoyed it more, my son or my wife. Especially the water cannons. I saw a completely new side of her come out when she challenged Troy to a water cannon fight!

It was a good day, but truly exhausting. Being on our feet and walking for the better part of five hours took a lot out of all of us. Troy couldn’t even make the long walk back, insisting on riding on my shoulders instead. He ended up falling asleep in the car almost instantly, and he didn’t wake again until we pulled into the garage.

I Intend to Resist

Me: “Troy let’s go take a bath.”

Troy: “I don’t WANT to take a bath!”

Me: “That’s irrelevant, let’s go.”

Troy: “No!”

Me: “Are you coming peacefully, or do you intend to resist?”

Troy: “I intend to resist.”

Me: “So be it.”

[tickling his stomach]

Troy: [laughing] “Stop, dada!”

Me: “Resistance is futile! You WILL be assimilated!”

Pink

I was laying in Troy’s room last night, waiting for him to finally go to sleep. When out of the darkness, I hear this.

Troy: “Dada, I’m pink.”

Me: [laughing] “Yeah, I guess you are sort of pink.”

Troy: “Everyone is pink.”

Me: “No, some people are white, some are peach, some are various shades of brown, and some are even black.”

Troy: “Yeah, and some are green.”

Me: “Really? Do you know any green people?”

Troy: “No, but I’m sure they’re out there.”

Me: “So, what color do you want to be?”

Troy: “Well, girls like pink.”

Me: [chuckling again] “I guess you’re right. Most girls like pink. So, you want to be pink, so girls will like you?”

Troy: “Yeah…or blue.”