Red Lining - Part 2

Me: “Okay, let’s put your coat on. Mama is waiting in the car already.”

Troy: “I don’t WANT to put the coat on!”

Me: “You have to, it’s very cold outside.”

Troy: “NO! I’m not going to go to school!”

Me: “You have to go to school. What are you going to do all day?”

Troy: “I want to stay home.”

Me: “You can’t stay home. Dada has to work. It’ll be more fun at school with your friends. So, let’s get your coat on so you can go.”

Troy: [sliding his arm in his coat and then immediately starting to cry] “My sleeve slid up! It’s not WORKING!!!”

Me: “It’s okay. It happens to everyone. You just have to hold it. I’ll show you.”

Troy: “NO! I want to do it MYSELF!!!”

Me: “Okay, do it then.”

Troy: “I can’t! It’s not working!”

Me: “Then, let me help you.”

Troy: “No! I can do it!”

Me: [me finally losing my patience] “Then, do it. Just hurry up. It shouldn’t take half an hour to put a coat on.”

Troy: [going into complete meltdown, ripping the coat off, and throwing it across the room] “IT’S NOT WORKING!!!”

Me: “That’s because you’re not doing what I said. You have to hold it like this.”

Troy: “NO!!! I WANT MAMA!!!”

Me: “She’s going to tell you the same thing!”

Troy: “I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!! I WANT MAMA!!!”

Me: “Well, she doesn’t want you right now! You’ve already made her mad too!”

Troy: “I WANT MAMA!!!”

My Wife: [coming back inside to figure out what’s taking so long] “What’s the hold-up?”

Me: “His sleeve is sliding up when he puts his arm in his coat, but he won’t hold it, and he won’t let me help. Now, he’s screaming for you.”

My Wife: “You have to hold it, baby. Let mama help you.”

Me: “I told you so.”

Troy: “NOOOOOO!!!”

Me: “Okay, enough of this nonsense. Hold him. I’m putting that coat on right now.”

I shove his arms into his coat, then reach through the hand hole to pull down his sleeves, while my wife holds him to keep him from pulling his arms out again. I zip up his coat and put on his hood.

 

Troy: [proceeding to unzip the coat and ripping his arms out of it again] “No, dada! Mama can do it!”

Me: [with menace] “Are you kidding me right now?! Then, let mama help you or go without a coat! I don’t even care anymore! But one way or another you’re leaving this house right now! I’ve had enough!”