The Third Wheel

There are some nights like tonight when I feel trapped and unloved by my family. Nights when Troy is overly emotional, and I get to a point where I can no longer take his crying, temper tantrums, emotional outbursts, obsessive compulsiveness, and constant reminder of why his mother is better than I am. I mean after several hours of this, I think anyone would hit their limit. So, I try to do the healthy thing and extricate myself from the situation, so I can cool off and reset. Except my wife won’t step in and take over for me. She complains about not feeling well, which maybe I’d have more sympathy for if she hadn’t been saying the same thing every night for the last three weeks. (And if I’m being perfectly honest, she’s had some similar excuse for over a year now. If it’s not feeling poorly, then it’s being tired.)

So, I’m left with no option but to reengage with my son before I’ve had a chance to cool off. Which means that my fuse is extremely short and most likely I’m going to explode any moment now. I try to reset on the fly, but my son won’t let up on me, so I blow. And then, I’m angry at him for his behavior, and I’m angry at my wife for putting me in the situation. And while I’m laying in Troy’s bed fuming, my wife is downstairs peacefully asleep. Which let’s be honest, just pisses me off more.

Just once, I’d like to be important too. I’d like to not feel well, be tired, or just be having a bad day. And I’d like for someone to acknowledge it and give me a break.