Tiny Bubbles

There’s nothing quite like hearing a baby scream and cry when he’s upset. One minute of it is enough torture to get you to give up every secret that you’ve ever known. Being trapped in a car with it for 30 min is unimaginable. That is how I spent my evening. I did surprisingly better than I thought I ever could, despite wanting to react in so many ways...I didn’t. I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t beat the steering wheel, and I didn’t scream. I just calmly drove home so I could give him the pacifier that he apparently so much desired.

I once saw one of those reality shows where someone had to sleep in a room all night listening to the song "Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho on repeat. It nearly drove the guy mad. That’s what it felt like, but a lot less pleasant sound than "Tiny Bubbles." If I had been able to think clearly in any way, I would have recorded his tantrum. I could have sold it to the government to use in interrogations. There is no way that someone could have held out much longer than I did. I was ready to confess things I didn’t even do just to make it stop!