Bear Wrestling

Me: “Come on, Troy. You need to walk faster! I don’t want to spend my entire day on this trail.”

Troy: “I’m going as fast as I can. I have short legs.”

Me: “Do you want me to carry you?”

Troy: “No. I’m fine.”

Me: “Maybe you could run? Then, you’d go faster.”

Troy: “I can’t. I’m carrying sticks.”

Me: “Then, put the sticks down.”

Troy: “I can’t do that. Then, how would I protect us from the bears and wolves?”

Me: “Bears are as big as that tree right there, and they’re very strong. What do you think those dinky little sticks are going to do against it?”

Troy: “I’m very strong too. I’ll whack him until he’s dead!”

Me: “I told you before. You are NOT to fight a bear. You’ll lose, and I don’t want you to die.”

Troy: “It’s okay, dada. I’ll be fine. I have my sticks. I won’t die.”

Me [exasperated]: “Troy, I want you to promise me that if we see a bear that you will get behind me and stop. And if I tell you to run, then I want you to head off down the trail as fast as you can and don’t stop until you get to mama.”

Troy: “What are you going to do?”

Me: “I’m going to fight the bear to give you time to get away, so you can get back to mama.”

Troy: “Yeah and I’ll tell her that I was chased by a bear.”

Me: “Yes, and she can go get help.”

Troy: “Won’t mama be scared?”

Me: “Yes, she will. She’ll probably be very sad, but she’ll be glad that you’re safe. So, promise me.”

Troy: “Okay, dada. But I could help you fight the bear.”

Me: “I appreciate that, bud, but I just want you to be safe. I’d die to keep you safe.”

Troy: “Why?”

Me: “Because I love you. Now, I don’t really want to fight a bear, so can you please hurry up?!”

Troy: “It’s okay, dada. You can go on ahead. I’ll catch up eventually.”

Me: “I’m not going to leave you alone in the forest.”

Troy: “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll catch up. Go on.”

Me: “No, Troy. I’m going to stay here and protect you. Now, let’s go.”