Mama's Way

Troy: “Dada, are you lost?”
Me: “No, I know exactly where I am. I’m in the car with you.”
Troy: “Well, I think you took a wrong turn. This isn’t the way to my camp.”
Me: “This is how Siri said to go.”
Troy: “This isn’t how mama goes.”
Me: “Well, maybe we found a new route.”
Troy: “I don’t think this is the right way.”
Me: “I tell you what. We’ll go this way, and if it turns out incorrect, we’ll just go ride the Ferris wheel instead.”
Troy: “Ooookkkaaaayyy, but I still think you’re going the wrong way.”
Me: “Noted.”

…two miles down the road…

Troy: “Dada, this still looks like the wrong way. I’m telling you, mama doesn’t go this way.”
Me: “Were you looking out the window when mama was driving?”
Troy: “No.”
Me: “Then, how do you know we’re going the wrong way?”
Troy: “Because this goes to the mall. Mama didn’t go to the mall.”
Me: “I’m telling you. There’s more than one way to get to your camp. Maybe mama went a different way.”
Troy: “I think you’re lost.”
Me: “Can you just let me drive?!”
Troy: “Okay, but this isn’t the way mama goes.”

…two miles down the road…

Troy: “Are you sure you don’t want to turn around?”
Me: “Positive.”
Troy: “So, you like going the wrong way?”
Me: “I’m not going the wrong way.”
Troy: “Well, you’re not going the way mama goes.”
Me: “So, you’ve said.”

…a few minutes later…

Me: “Check out that bison statue over there.”
Troy: “Yeah, mama showed me a horse statue just up ahead.”
Me: “Oh yeah? Wait! How could mama show you a horse statue if she didn’t go this way?!”
Troy: “You’re finally going the right way. See there’s the horse statue.”
Me: “So, I wasn’t wrong! I was going a different way.”
Troy: “You didn’t go the way mama goes.”
Me: “But I still made it! Maybe Siri took mama a different way.”
Troy: “No. Mama never talks to Siri.”
Me: “Why not?”
Troy: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Do you think Siri is mad at her?”
Troy: “Probably. Mama talks to some man instead.”
Me [laughing]: “Maybe mama just gave Siri a different voice.”
Troy: “No, it’s not Siri.”
Me: “How can you be sure?”
Troy: “Because Siri took you a different way to my camp than mama goes.”
Me [groaning]: “I give up! Thank God, here’s the music school!”
Troy: “Good job, dada.”