Mr. Butler

Troy: “Dada, I really wish I had a robot butler.”
Me: “Why do you think you should get a butler?! I don’t have a butler! In fact, not only does nobody do anything for me, but I do everything for everybody else. Actually, now that I think about it, I am YOUR butler! I feed you, clean you, help you get dressed, and serve you in every possible way! The only real complaint you could have is that I don’t call you ‘sir.’ Although, I think the proper term for someone your age is actually ‘master.’”
Troy [giggling]: “Don’t forget that you also wipe my bum!”
Me: “Not one of the more glamorous parts of my job.”