The Twelve Days of Troy

Me: “Since you like the 12 Days of Christmas song so much, how about we come up with our version?”
Troy: “Okay!”
Me: “So, you have to think about what you’d send to your girlfriend each day.”
Troy: “Like what?”
Me: “I don’t know. It could be anything. Pick things you like or you think she’d like. How would you tell her that you love her?”
Troy: “Okay, I got it.”
Me: “Great! Hit me with it!”

…ten minutes of composing and editing later…

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
A kitten playing with yarn

On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the six day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Eight baby octopuses
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Nine bright red lady bugs
Eight baby octopuses
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Ten random photos
Nine bright red lady bugs
Eight baby octopuses
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Eleven jumping lizards
Ten random photos
Nine bright red lady bugs
Eight baby octopuses
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Twelve crawly worms
Eleven jumping lizards
Ten random photos
Nine bright red lady bugs
Eight baby octopuses
Seven laughing parrots
Six nibbling bunnies
Fiiiivvvveee silver dollars
Four hiding turtles
Three cross-eyed hamsters
Two licking puppies and
A kitten playing with yarn

Me: “Bud, I’m not sure how to break this to you gently. But if you send some of this stuff to your girlfriend, I don’t think she’ll stay your girlfriend for very long.”
Troy: “What’s wrong with it?”
Me: “Well, not a lot of girls are into cross-eyed hamsters, baby octopi, jumping lizards, and crawly worms.”
Troy: “Hmmm, then, I guess she’s not the girl for me.”
Me: “Well said!”