The Speed of Bears

Troy: “Dada, are sloth bears fast or slow?”
Me: “Well, they’re bears, so I wouldn’t say they’re slow, but they’re probably not the fastest bears. I mean probably not as fast as say a grizzly bear.”
Troy: “Then, how do they catch food?”
Me: “Bears eat all kinds of things. Berries, nuts, fish, and an occasional deer or rabbit maybe.”
Troy: “And honey! Sloth bears like honey. I learned that from A Jungle Book.”
Me: “Yes, and honey. Winnie the Pooh liked honey too, but that’s not my point. You see, with bears, it’s all about energy conservation. It takes a lot of energy to be a bear and go romping around the forest all day. So, they’re not going to expend a lot of energy chasing a deer or rabbit if they don’t have to. They might use more energy than they got back. That’s why fish are such a nice meal. They just have to stand there and let the fish fly up and slap them in the face.”
Troy: “Do bears eat other bears?”
Me: “Sometimes. If they’re very hungry or if they’re protecting their territory or their babies. But it’s not their preferred meal.”
Troy: “Do other animals eat their own kind?”
Me: “Do you mean is there a chicken out there eating other chickens or a cow eating a hamburger?”
Troy [laughing]: “Exactly! Like a cow eating a hamburger or a pig eating bacon.”
Me: “Well, not intentionally. I mean cows are vegetarians, so they’re not exactly going to the drive-thru for a Whataburger like we do.”
Troy [laughing]: “Can you imagine that?! A cow at the drive-thru?!”
Me: “I think it’s more likely to see a bear at Long John Silver’s eating triangle fish. Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be the greatest day of your life to see a bear at Long John Silver’s, wearing one of those paper pirate hats and chowing down on fish.”
Troy: “Maybe.”
Me: “Definitely!”