Seagull Pearls

Me: “Did you know that some seagulls and albatrosses will grab up clams and oysters, fly really high in the air, and then drop them? The clam or oyster will smash into the rocks below and hopefully crack open, so the bird can eat them.”
Troy: “Yeah. Or they might just open them with their beaks.”
Me: “Clams and oysters can be pretty hard to open. And if dropping them doesn’t work, then they’ll pick them up and smash them into the rocks repeatedly, braining them to death. I guess giving an oyster a concussion will cause it to open in confusion. But here’s the real question. Do you know what a pearl is?”
Troy: “Yeah. It’s a shiny, wet-looking round ball thing.”
Me: “Yes, it is. But do you know why they’re made?”
Troy: “No.”
Me: “Well, imagine that the inside of an oyster is soft and wet, very much like your tongue. And sometimes a little grain of sand gets stuck in there and starts rubbing and irritating the oyster’s sensitive skin. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to have something stuck under your tongue?”
Troy: “Yeah.”
Me: “Exactly. So, the oyster can’t just swish some water around to get it out, like we do. So, it will start to secrete this fluid around the piece of sand to make it smooth and less annoying. And it will keep doing that over and over again until it feels better. That fluid hardens and becomes a pearl. So, basically a pearl is oyster spit.”
Troy [laughing]: “With sand in the middle!”
Me: “Spot on. So, now, here’s my question. When a bird cracks open an oyster and finds a pearl, what does it do with it?”
Troy: “Takes it back to its nest for its chicks.”
Me: “Well, you wouldn’t want a chick eating a pearl.”
Troy: “Not to eat! As a decoration or toy.”
Me: “Come on! You know how babies are! They put everything in their mouths! ‘Num, num…mama, this worm won’t fit into my mouth. Aaaahhh! Don’t eat that! It’s a pearl, not a worm! Oh. Num, num…stop that! Didn’t you just hear me tell your brother not to eat that! No. I wasn’t listening to you, mama. Well, tell your sister before she starts trying to eat it too. Num, num…too late. Oh my gosh! I can’t have any nice things in this house!’”
Troy [giggling]: “That’s hilarious. Is that from a movie?”
Me: “No, I just made it all up.”
Troy: “That should be in a movie.”