Jumping in a Bear Pit

Troy is so eager to hold his head up by himself. If I hold him upright against my shoulder, then he spends the entire time lifting his head off my shoulder and wobbly looking around. He leans his head back and then when he feels the weight getting to be too much and he’s losing control, he over compensates the other way and ends up head-butting my collarbone. The way he does it with such violent force is like he’s doing it on purpose. I imagine us locked in an epic battle, and I have used my size and strength to capture him and slowly squeeze the life out of him. And he with one last-ditch effort, throws his head back and slams it into me in an attempt to disable me and take me down with a single blow. The problem is that it usually ends up hurting himself, and the whole scene ends with him crying and blaming me for hurting him. I imagine him at this moment, after all the plotting and planning to take me down, quoting Ron Burgundy when he jumped in the bear pit, “I immediately regret this decision.”