Short Fuse

I’ve been having a really tough time with Troy lately. I know that I have a very short fuse because of the issues I’m having with my marriage, but I think it’s more than that. Troy has just refused to do anything that we ask him…or I guess I should say that he will only do it his way and in his timing. It all started with the homework that his teacher gave him for the summer, so that he didn’t regress in his reading, writing, or Math. I get that nobody wants to have homework over the summer, but honestly, he doesn’t know any different. This is really his first year actually having a summer. So, every day, I sit down with him and try to do the assignment. And every day is a battle.

Some days, it’s because he isn’t in the mood. Some days, it’s because he’s frustrated that he’s making mistakes. Some days, he’s just tired. But whatever the reason, it always ends with him throwing a temper tantrum, and me getting blow-the-volcano angry. Even when I try to stay calm and patient, he will goad me and goad me and goad me until I blow my top. It’s like he expects me to get angry, so he’s not going to stop until he’s proven correct.

I’ve tried doing something active and fun before, so while he’s taking a breather, we can do the homework. I’ve tried taking breaks in between, but then he doesn’t want to focus or engage after that. I’ve tried to make it fun, but he deflates that. I’ve even tried to incentivize him by telling him that we’ll play afterwards, if he’ll just focus for a little bit. Nothing works.

I don’t know what else to do. I’m worn out and exhausted. I feel like a failure as a father. I have the knowledge to teach him. I know it’s helpful, and he’ll be better off for it in the long run. But I have no idea how to impart it to him. He just fights me every step of the way.

On the flip side, I’ve been doing a lot of pushups and pull-ups. So, I might just look like Arnold Schwarzenegger by the end of the summer!